Dream Within
by restive nature
Summary: Complete! After an unfortunate accident, Max is catapulted to a future she never imagined possible. (Pairing MA)
1. Default Chapter

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter One

What Do I Know Of Love?

"Ugh, Logan," Max whispered as she pedaled through the slick streets on her way to the Sandeman house. "This had better be good," she sighed to herself. She glanced up at the black clouds hanging low in the sky. It had rained earlier, and Logan had called then, asking her to come over. She'd tried to put it off, claiming that she was busy with TC business. But then Joshua had appeared beside her at the video link-up and told her that everyone had reported in and his or her tasks were done. Then she'd tried to use the excuse that she didn't want to run the risk of getting caught by the sector cops. They would just draw unnecessary attention to one of the few boltholes they had.

Logan had cajoled and pleaded with her. She'd tried to say no one more time, claiming her intense hatred of wetness that wasn't confined to her bathtub. But Logan had quickly pointed out that the rain had stopped and she could be quick enough to get there before it started up again. And then Mole, with his big mouth, had agreed with him. Max had finally given in, but not before shooting Mole the death glare usually reserved for people that well, were about to die. He just laughed and stuck his stinky cigar back in his mouth. She might have convinced him to stay put and fight, but that didn't mean he had to like it. And he let her know every day that he had a beef with her.

So now she was riding one of the bicycles they had stashed close to their little exit point, puddles splashing up about her feet as she pedaled and not liking it one bit. She was even slowing down a little bit more; the closer she got to Joshua's old place. The new home of Eyes Only. Or the old home. After the siege at Terminal City began, one of their first priorities was getting all the humans out. The homeless who'd been holed up were mostly cleared out. But it was also important to get Original Cindy, Sketchy and Logan to safety, simply because they could not handle the bio-toxins there. O.C. and Sketchy were not eager by any means to leave, but understood the reasoning behind it. Only Logan had argued. His only defense, Joshua's blood transfusion. But when one of the medics was checking him over, it was discovered that Joshua's blood, while protecting him for now, also wasn't replicating itself. Eventually, it would be what all other dead blood cells were, waste matter. And Max informed Logan in no uncertain terms that Joshua wasn't there to be his personal blood bag.

So a week after the siege, they'd got Logan out. And Max had felt a great relief fall off her shoulders. It puzzled her at first and she kept telling herself that it was just relief that Logan was safer now. He wasn't constantly at risk to being exposed to the virus. She'd been happy when he'd come up with the latex gloves idea, but had quickly realized that one minute hole in the material could cause instant heartache. But as her days continued to move past, as they prepared for a long-term holdout, finding supplies and saving more transgenics that were still making their way to TC, she found herself thinking of him less. So that when she actually did think of him, it was usually because he'd called, wanting to check in, or ask for her help.

She had to look deep inside herself and think about what this meant. And it slowly came to her. How every time she'd felt romantic with Logan it had been on the heels of a very dramatic moment. And realizing this, she was starting to wonder if her feelings weren't love, but the mishmash of adrenaline. It was true, she'd always gotten a rush when she pulled off a good heist, or pulled the wool over someone's eyes. And thinking back further, to before she knew Logan, she'd always been a little more affectionate with her friends after said adrenaline rushes. It stood to reason she'd feel the same with Logan. Maybe she'd just mistaken it for more, because she didn't really think of Logan as a friend.

But in her life, there were few categories that people fit into. Strangers, obviously were the majority of the people in the world. There were her enemies. Manticore, sector cops and then White and his breeding cult. There were the people she worked with, or knew through work. There were her friends, the few that she cultivated and actually liked, namely O.C. and Sketchy. And then there were her boyfriends. And with very few exceptions, they'd been heat-induced nightmares that she'd tried to extricate herself from as quickly as possible.

So Logan wasn't a stranger, as she obviously knew him. It was what he'd been in the beginning, until he'd forced his way into her life. He'd proven himself not to be her enemy by coming up with the quid pro quo arrangement. So at first he'd been one of the people she worked with. But she tried to make the distinction between her day job and the things she did to find her family. So he wasn't a work acquaintance. And again, with his forcing himself into her life, he couldn't be labeled a friend. To Max, friends were people that she had things in common with to an extent, that she liked and enjoyed spending time with. She grimaced ruefully at what that left. Boyfriend. And since he wasn't some random guy she'd picked up, that meant she'd chosen him. But had she really?

She sighed softly as she realized again what this meant. It was no wonder that for over a year she'd denied 'being like that'. They honestly weren't. But she'd had long enough to brainwash herself that since he didn't fit any of the other categories in her life, he had to be the one. Just as she'd drifted into settling into a life in Seattle, one thing she knew was overly dangerous, given the people constantly hunting her; she'd drifted into romance with Logan. And of course the stupid virus had to come along and make things as simple as shaking hands forbidden. All that jazz about fruit and such. It was no wonder she stuck in there so long with him. After all, she'd escaped in '09 from Manticore because she'd been tempted by something that was denied her. Freedom and love.

But what did she know of love? Sure, she'd had the love of her Chimera siblings. So she knew about that. She shared a platonic love with her friends. So she knew that as well. And thanks to those damnable heat cycles, she knew the thrill of physical attraction. At least the initial stages of it. When the clear cold light of day hit, the attraction was lost. But at least she had something to go on. She supposed that if she were pressed to admit it, real love was the culmination of all three of those things. The trusting love that you had from family, where you knew that someone always had your back. The platonic love between friends that allowed you to relax and just be yourself without being judged. And the thrill of passion that burned in you day after day.

And she had to admit that honestly, she and Logan didn't have any of those three things anymore. Logan as much as he might like to, just wasn't able to protect her the way her siblings had. And while Logan professed to accept her, there were things buried so deep inside herself that she didn't want to ever examine that Logan could never relate to. Not like someone could who had come from where she had. O.C. was a different matter. As an affirmed lesbian, Cindy had had to come to terms with things about herself, making her more receptive to understanding how the mind could go against the body. Need versus want. And lastly, the passion. Sure, at one time she'd thought Logan's scruffy look had been cute. She wondered sometimes if he'd overheard her say that and deliberately cultivated it later.

She shuddered again to think that someone would be willing to change him or herself just to please another. The bike skidded to a stop as Max realized that that was exactly what she'd been doing. She'd been denying who she was, what she was, just to please Logan. Just to make things easier for him to look the other way. Right from day one she'd been doing that. She always went away from him to do her thing. When he was around, she restrained herself, trying to rely on her wits to deal with things. Once he left her vicinity, then things got physical, in one sense or another.

Max balanced herself carefully on the bike, leaning on her right foot as she chewed on her lower lip. For the last few months, she had had to face up to the reality that she and hers weren't going to ever be accepted in the way she'd first tried. They would never be normal. They would always be a breed apart. But that didn't lessen their right to live at all. And Max knew that because of the deepest sense of herself that she wouldn't abandon them. It was a responsibility she'd been embracing for a long time. And it was the right thing to do. Not just to assuage her guilt for having caused this mess in the first place. But because her place was among them. What she'd told them all those weeks ago was true. She was tired of running and hiding. From others. From herself.

And as soon as she admitted it, she felt the last mantle of the burden of her dual life fall away. It was time to finish cutting the ties that were binding her. It was time to let Logan go. She smiled to herself ruefully. This time it felt good. Unlike the previous times when she declared that she'd told him it was over. Using tired old ploys to get away from him. This time she felt like she could fly. But first, she had to tell him. It was only fair. She lifted her foot from the road and propelled herself forward again. Freedom was a good thing. Now, if she just had someone she could share it with.

She shook her head. Here she was getting out of one relationship, just to want to jump into another. But this thing between her and Logan had been long dead and she was tired of the empty nights. She needed someone who could be there for her when she was strong, when she was vulnerable. When she needed a shoulder to cry on and when she needed to be the soldier she'd been bred to be. Someone like Alec. She braked hard again, nearly unseating herself.

'Oh my God," she whispered. "Did I really just think that?" She rolled her eyes. Sure, Alec was cute. But then, all the X-series were. He was funny, if you liked his cocky humor. And Max did. Though she was loath to admit it. He'd already proven to her that despite what she'd first thought, there was a real person lurking under the surface. She'd seen glimpses of it ever since they'd talked, truly talked about Ben. And he'd been reliable. Once she started understanding the reason why he did things, she could see that he wasn't as bad as all that. With determination, she realized that she was less than a block from Logan's place. "Okay girl," she muttered under her breath as she hurried along. "Logan first, then we'll think about Alec."

She never saw what hit her.


	2. What I'd Give For Love

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Two

What I'd Give For Love

Alec sighed as he rode along at a leisurely pace behind his friend and strangely enough, the only confidante he'd ever had in his life. He sure as hell didn't count Sketchy, Biggs, Joshua or any of the males he had in his life as that. Yeah, he shared jokes, memories and general things about himself with the male friends he had. But when it got down to the nitty gritty, she was the one that knew the core of him. And the fact that finding these things out hadn't sent her running for the hills scared the crap out of him. It started a strange catalyst in him, noticing her. Max was gorgeous. He'd never deny that. But it was more than her external beauty. She had a passion about her that burned from within. It lit her up in everything she did. Even when he'd seen her at her most defeated, when she'd told him about Ben, that little spark that carried her through the rough times in life was still there.

And when he'd finally broke down and shared about Rachel, it was her spirit, her belief that he was better off having known that love, that helped him to make it through the night. He'd pushed her away, tried to goad her into hating him, but she hadn't given up on him. He wondered sometimes why he stuck around with the way she treated him initially. He had an inkling right from the start, from her very first reaction to him back at Manticore, calling him Ben, that there was a secret buried deep about his twin. He'd tried to make allowances for that. She called him a screw-up and sometimes he could be. He was honest enough with himself to admit that. It was through her that he saw his chance at a life he wanted.

In the year he'd been out from Manticore, he'd gone from hedonistic, narcissistic Smart Alec to the person he'd eventually envisioned himself to be. Sure, it had been fun to shake off the chains of Manticore. To get away from the regimented, brutalistic lifestyle that place engendered. But he'd realized after a while that he'd simply substituted himself as the core of his concern. All his life, Manticore had been his prime concern. When Max had freed them, hell, even before that, when he'd found Rachel, Manticore slowly became less of his concern. And with their treatment of him after the Berrisford disaster, Alec began the painful process of turning his back on them. He'd had to keep up pretenses of course, but it had begun.

But eventually too, the long nights of drinking, womanizing and empty beds come morning had begun to pall. He'd watched his friends, trying to discern why they seemed much happier in their lives than he was. And it all boiled down to one simple thing. They weren't any happier. They were all searching for something to complete them. It had been an interesting revelation for him. That the normals had considered him the most happily adjusted person they knew. He'd adjusted all right. But that was only through quick wit, charisma and the ability to roll with the punches. So then he'd begun to watch Max. At the time, she'd been his only example of a transgenic living the normal life. But then he'd begun to realize that she'd never be normal. And she'd never be only soldiers either. They were turning into some median of in-between. But watching her day after day, bemoaning her fate, which she continually linked to Logan despite all the curveballs life threw them had really nauseated him.

He couldn't believe that Max used the fire inside herself to continue on, determined that she and Logan would one day be together. And then, after his outburst about the transgenics being a danger to the ordinaries, he wondered. Would he have given up Rachel if fate had quirked it's way into the occasion like it had with the virus. His answer had stunned him. No, he wouldn't have. He candidly admitted that when he saw something that he wanted, he went after it. He would have given anything to have Rachel back in his life, hell even in this world. Just to know that she was safe, innocent, the sweet little thing that had opened him up to the vivid world of emotion and the pain it could cause. Because no matter how bitter the pill, the euphoria of love more than made up for it.

But lately, in his sneaky watching of Max, he'd noticed her turning less and less to Logan. Now, her first choice was to be with or talk to the people like her. He and Max had aired things out between them regarding her lie of omission to Logan about the 'truth' of their relationship. The truth being that they didn't have much more than a somewhat friendly one. And then, after the huge events at Jam Pony and the hostage situation, Alec had overheard her telling Joshua that she'd turned to Logan for comfort. Just naturally because she'd always felt that she could lean on him. Joshua had understood, as that was what Max had been for him. Max had teasingly complained that she felt like a ratty old security blanket. Joshua had teased back that he'd outgrown that stage. And then told her that maybe she needed to do the same.

Alec had been thrilled when he heard her murmur an agreement. She was finally coming around to his point of view. And everyone knew just how hard that was to do with Max. She was the original, the escapee, and the one that got away. No matter what Manticore did to her, she always seemed to come out on top. Alec knew better of course. But he was privy to a little more detail of her life than the other transgenics and transhumans. All the rest saw her as fairly unyielding. Yeah, she'd listen to what they had to say, after all, their new enforced way of life at Terminal City affected them all. But Max felt that she was the only one who could truly bridge the chasm between the two worlds. Alec shook his head. Some days it was all he could do to calm down someone that Maxie had pissed off one way or another. And the majority of the time, it was Mole. He and Max were like oil and water.

So that was why Alec was following Max now. He'd gotten used to watching her back, as she'd gotten used to watching his. The bond they'd made earlier, sharing about Rachel and Ben had grown. It was cemented now that they were living and working together for the benefit of their freak nation. 'Well, not living together,' Alec chuckled to himself. But it was close enough. Neighboring apartments a short distance away from headquarters. Close enough that they usually popped into each other's personal space several times a day for various things. Of course, Alec, being the smart-ass that he was, had cheekily teased her about the one time he'd managed to walk in on her, fresh from a quick, cold shower and nary a towel in sight.

When he'd first walked in, the breath was literally stolen right from his lungs. Then she'd screeched at him and his eyes had snapped up to her face guiltily. His scrambling mind kept reiterating a single thought. Don't blush. He'd been successful and the suave, slightly inane comments dripped like poison from his lips. He'd ducked the missile like couch cushion, and while he'd been distracted, Max had escaped. That had been his turning point. From that day forward, whenever he'd thought of Max, it had been that image in his head. And finally, the friendship and the lust began to merge together. And every day just got more encouraging.

Alec glanced up once more, though he was certain he didn't need to. Mole had told him that Max was on her way to Logan's. And since she was heading towards Joshua's old place, Alec didn't really need to be stealthy guy in following her. He knew the way well enough, having visited plenty of times before. But then he saw her slowing down. He grinned, wondering if she was going to turn back. In fact, he would have encouraged her to. Going to Logan's was a rough deal for her. Alec could see that she was trying to be gracious with the older man. But it was evident to everyone around her that the spark, if there'd ever been any, that the spark between the two was long gone. He slowed down as well, wondering what kind of ass kicking he'd be risking to approach her now. She'd no doubt give him hell for following her. Even if he were right in the assumption that she'd need a shoulder to cry on when she was through. So he stopped a distance back, watching as she finally stopped and contemplated something.

It didn't take her long before she was pedaling again. 'Oh come on Maxie,' Alec thought sourly. 'Just give it up. Don't torture yourself over Logan. Just stop where you are, turn around and go home.' To his stupefication, she did precisely that. Well, the stopping part at least. 'Oh crap!' he thought quickly, coming to a dead halt again. 'Don't tell me she got psychic hotline chic in her DNA?' He contemplated hiding before she could turn back and see him. But to his relief, she hurried off again. He grinned; wondering what she was thinking about that was so important that she couldn't do her thinking and bicycling at the same time. But the desire for the answer was yanked from him when he saw the lumbering car on his left, swing around a corner and into her lane at high speed.

"Max!" he yelled, knowing that it was too late to get her attention.

He'd dropped the bike and had already begun to blur to her side as the car shuddered to a halt. Alec knelt on the pavement beside her crumpled form, terrified to touch her. The car door opening caught his attention and a kid, couldn't have been more than fourteen jumped out, looking like he was going to wet his pants. They stared at each other, the one second stretching into long moments before Alec turned back to his friend, fear etched into his face. His trembling hand felt at her neck for a pulse and he sighed with relief as he felt the slightly irregular thump. But even so, he moved his hand to her face, not touching, just letting the feel of her shallow breath play over him.

"I-is she dead?" the kid asked, inching forward. Alec's head whipped around to glare at the teen, who had stopped in his tracks at the feral look on the man before him.

"No, but you could have killed her," Alec growled. "What the hell were you thinking?" he shouted. Despite the tears that were forming in the boy's eyes, Alec wasn't moved to pity. If anything, it made him angrier. "You better get the fuck out of here before I take you apart with my bare hands," Alec warned in a tight voice. It had taken him moments only to realize that reporting the incident would open up a whole butt load of more exposure that they didn't need.

"I'm sorry," the boy whimpered. And then he was running back to the car. One glance and Alec had the plate memorized. He could always hunt the kid down later and pummel him to the ground if Max was worse than he thought. But right now he needed to take care of her. The squeal of tires helped him to focus. He pulled his cell phone from his jacket pocket and he dialed the familiar number to Logan. It took a few rings for the older man to answer.

Hello? 

"Logan, it's Alec," he began. He heard the disgruntled noise the other man made, but continued on. Max was more important right now than any disgust the males felt towards each other. "Logan listen! Max was hit by a car. She's alive, but she hit her head when she went down and may have some broken bones. I don't want to move her, but I can't call an ambulance."

Of course. What do you need me to do? 

Alec had to admit one thing. Where Max was concerned, Logan was all over it. No questions, no whining, just how could he help. "I need you to go to the basement and find something flat and straight that we can place her on. A board or something. We need to keep her immobile until we can find out how badly she's hurt. Whatever is wrong, we don't want to make it worse."

Right. I think I have something. 

"And I need you to call that doctor friend of yours," Alec continued. "He'll need to check her out. And hurry Logan. I don't want her out here… for a lot of reasons.

I understand. Where are you at? 

"We're just down the block from your place, heading south."

I'll be right there. 


	3. Who The Hell's Life Did I Wake Up In?

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Three

Who The Hell's Life Did I Wake Up In?

Max was dreaming. That was the only explanation for the lassitude she felt. It had been a long time since she'd slept so well or peacefully that she was slow in waking up. Add to the fact that she was warm, definitely something she wasn't used to added to her contentment. She kept her eyes closed, allowing herself to drift in that in-between state of sleep and wakefulness. She'd been unknowingly craving this, this feeling of peace. It didn't even phase her as the realization wormed its way into her brain that it certainly wasn't a blanket keeping her warm. No, it was the incredible body heat of what seemed to be a male pressed up intimately against her back. Max wiggled a little, sighing happily. Yes, definitely male.

"Good dream," she mumbled sleepily. Her dream lover chuckled in her ear. She smiled as his hands caressed the small of her back and she arched into the gentle rub. She was surprised that the tension usually there didn't seem to be this time. But who was she to argue with her dream? The hand continued to rub, slowly forming a circle on her back, growing larger until his hand slipped around her rib cage, tickling slightly. She shivered unconsciously and pushed back against him. He took it as a signal and continued to rub his large hand across her abdomen, his touch light but sure.

Max inhaled deeply, savoring the musky male aroma that invaded her senses. It was slightly familiar, but she completely dismissed that niggling voice in the back of her head. This was one dream she definitely did not want to wake up from. She let her hand relax against the forearm that was curved around her, feeling the muscles tense as he continued to play her skin, moving lower at infinitesimal speed. Again, this was something she'd craved. Not heat, not instant gratification, not lust. But the gentle swell of desire, passion, the intimacy of being made love to. She moaned and arched a little as his hand finally made it to the destination she was slowly beginning to yearn for and Max lifted her hand, searching for something.

She found it as he used his other hand to sweep the hair from her neck and press a kiss to the pulse point in the hollow of her throat. She let her fingers drift over his jaw as he continued to press kisses along her shoulder. And then she gasped as her lover teased for what seemed an eternity, but was actually only long minutes before he moved again. He nipped at her ear and Max shuddered slightly as her own desire began to coil tightly in her body.

She gave in to the desire not just to accept, but particiapte as well. She shivered again But finally the teasing was not enough, for either of them. Her lover nudged his leg between hers and Max complied. With a satisfied moan, he pulled his hand away from her, chuckling at her little moue of protest. His hand joined hers and together they led him to his ultimate destination. Max inhaled sharply and her head tilted back as he filled her so completely. They waited a moment, hands entwined, letting her adjust to him. And then slowly he began to move. Max dropped her shoulder to encourage more kisses. Her dream lover obliged, his tongue darting out to drag against the tangy perspiration that was starting to coat her body. Max smiled languidly. She whimpered again as he took his time, intent on pleasing her. Her fingers tightened on his and he gave in, thrusting himself to the hilt.

"Yes!" Max hissed. He hurried now, but kept to the same steady rhythm. Max felt the pressure building in her, begging to take her over, ready to give in. She kept her eyes closed, not willing to give this dream up for anything. She felt his kisses, just as she could feel the sensation he set off by his action pulsing through her. Her eyes flew open and before she could react, was caught in another bruising kiss. Max felt as if she were going to hyperventilate.

"Alec!" she screamed his name, whether it was in surprise that maybe her dream lover was not quite a dream, or because her lover was evoking amazing feelings she couldn't even begin to describe.

"God Maxie," he groaned, turning her attention back to the clamoring of her body and the inability to escape what they had wrought.

"Alec," she whimpered as her body shuddered and tensed. Her mind was strangely absent, unable to think as instinct took over. Her hands clutched at his arms as the physical stimulation became almost too much. "Please…" she didn't know if she was begging him to stop, to finish or to never leave her and these incredible sensations.

He smiled at her through gritted teeth, then bent to engage her in another searing kiss. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she felt him reach completion within her. "I love you Maxie," she heard him whisper hoarsely before collapsing back down to the bed. Surprisingly, her arms tightened around his for a moment, before her mind took in the enormity of the situation.

She was in bed. With Alec. Who was not a dream. Who'd just thoroughly loved her. No! Had sex with her! And she…had had sex with him. Max could feel her cheeks burning uncomfortably as she tried to deal with the implications this had on her life. He wasn't a dream. She felt the nervous urge to pinch her arm… or maybe his ass. She bit her lip quickly, her eyes widening as she registered that thought. What the hell was going on here? And then her breath caught in her throat as Alec carefully settled more comfortably beside her, not relinquishing the hold he had around her stomach.

"Good morning sweetie," he chuckled in her ear. But Max's eyes were darting around the room. A very familiar room. It was her bedroom, in her apartment in Terminal City. And then she cottoned on to the fact that Alec seemed entirely too comfortable with her here. She still had no clue as to what was going on. Beside the obvious one that they'd just had sex. Max cast her mind quickly, trying to remember what had led them up to this point. But it was all blank. She kept her head averted from his and tried to figure out why they were together in her bed and why the hell she didn't seemed to have minded, until this moment.

"Max?" Alec tried again. Max bit the inside of her cheek. How the hell was she going to explain this to him? "Are you okay?"

She slowly licked her suddenly parched lips. He was waiting for her to answer. "Uh…" she finally managed to push sound past her lips, but he was still waiting. Still, nothing came to mind and she opted for the coward's way out. "Bathroom!"

"Oh, sorry," he laughed. He pulled his arm away from where it had been holding her down and he sat up. Max ran an appreciative eye down his tautly muscled back, then shook her head in horror. Alec turned back to her, handing her the robe he'd grabbed from the foot of the bed.

"Thanks," she whispered, avoiding his amused gaze as she turned from him, trying to get the robe on without exposing too much skin to him. It was only when she stumbled through the living room, on the way to said bathroom that she wondered how Alec knew that she preferred her fuzzy robe in the morning. She quickly dismissed it as a coincidence as she slipped into the tiny room, letting the door click sharply shut behind her. She leaned against it for a moment, her mind racing, turning things over.

She looked over at the cracked mirror and recoiled at the sight of herself, flushed and eyes sparkling. It had been a long time since she'd appeared so…sated. She stepped towards the mirror as she realized that there was more to the differences in her appearance. Her hair, normally straight as a ruler, was curling around her head in wild abandon. 'I cut my hair,' she realized dumbly. 'When did I do that? Why did I do that?' The answer came unbidden. Because Alec wanted to see it like that, all curly and provocatively framing her face.

The flush in her cheeks drew her attention again. "Oh god," she whispered. "I'm in heat again. I've got to be." Staring at herself, her hand crept up to feel the swell of her lips, still tingling from his kiss. And then the sparkle on her left hand slapped her right upside the head. A ring. An engagement ring. With a wedding band sitting comfortably behind it. Max gaped at the sight and then used her other hand to yank at the surprise. The rings slid forward, enough that Max could see the paler skin where the duo seemed designed to reside. She was married. She was making lo- no, having sex. With Alec. Logical thought patterns progressed so naturally that Max slumped against the counter. She was married to Alec!


	4. What I Know Could Fit In A Coffee Mug

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Four

What I Know Could Fit In A Coffee Mug

Max continued to stare at the damning evidence on her head. Thought after thought chased itself around her mind. She was married to Alec. That just didn't seem possible. Alec? Married? He just didn't seem the type. And admittedly, neither did she. This was something she'd never really thought about. Even with Logan. Of course, there had been that wedding she'd attended with Logan. Of course, up until that point, she hadn't really gotten the whole dealio. Who wanted to trap themselves to one human being for the rest of their life? But when she'd seen the emotion there on the happy couple's face, she sorta got it. But with the yearly divorce rate continuing on its upward climb, marriage just seemed like a foolish expense.

But obviously it was one she had taken. Or had she? What if it was some grand scheme to… hell she didn't know. But it sounded like something Alec would talk her into. Pretend to be married to pull some scam or another. But honestly, he hadn't been pulling any scams in recent memory. That she knew of anyway. And why would they continue the charade in TC. Everyone there knew that she and Alec weren't together. Or maybe they were in the preliminary stages of this plan. Sort of, getting used to being a married couple before they tried it out wherever it was that they were doing this bitch. But did that honestly excuse them being in the same bed, in the privacy of her home. Making lo- having sex. With each other!

Max's head was beginning to pound. There were so many possibilities. Like the new one that entered her mind. She was here with Alec. Was she just assuming that he was her husband? Max felt her stomach lurch at this new conundrum. And she wasn't sure if it was because that meant she was cheating on her actual husband, or the thought that she and Alec weren't married. She shook her head lightly, so as not to further aggravate the drummers marching steadily along the inside of her skull. It was all just too much to take in. Of course, other things could account for the headache.

Maybe she'd finally found the minimum drunkenness level for a transgenic and reached it last night. This could be the infamous hangover stage that Sketchy was constantly cursing. She sucked in a quick breath. She hadn't even thought about anyone else in her panic this morning. How did Logan fit into this new scenario? Did he fit in at all? What did her friends think of her impromptu marriage? Well, impromptu to her. Max grit her teeth, telling her mind to shut up for just one minute while she tried to figure out her most pressing problem. Was she or was she not married to Alec.

"Clues," she whispered to herself. There had to be clues. She glanced about the small room, as if expecting a huge sign to pop out saying _'proof I'm married to Alec, in here'_. But such things only happened in those silly cartoons her husband had gotten her hooked on. Max's eyes widened imperceptibly. Where had that thought come from? She didn't watch television unless she had to. And she'd certainly never watched cartoons with Alec. She shook her head again. Clues! She was supposed to be looking for clues.

The bathroom had changed a little since she had last remembered being in it. Instead of the solitary implements, there were now pairs of things. Two bath towels on the rack. Two toothbrushes in the Mason jar by the sink. Max reached out with trembling hands and pulled open the medicine cabinet. Yep, like she'd suspected, his and her razors sitting on opposite ends from each other. In fact, almost his and her everything. Except for the lone bottle of hair gel. She tilted her head to the side. Since when did she use hair gel? And then realized that the bottle was kind of sitting on Alec's side. She smirked. Hmm. Well now she had something to tease him about.

She let the door close and looked about, still not firmly convinced of things. So maybe she was married. None of these things proved it was Alec. She glanced towards the tub, wondering if she had time for a quick, soothing, steaming hot bath before she had to face him again. And then her eye caught sight of the green bar of soap in the little tray. She pounced on it, pulling it up to her nose and inhaling deeply. Oh crap!

It was Alec's soap. She'd been around him enough to know the scent he favored. And it was now resting in the palm of her trembling hand. She heard footsteps approaching and swiftly replaced the soap in the tray. Her eyes darted to the door. Damn! She'd forgotten to lock it. And if she remembered correctly, and wasn't sure if she could any more, Alec would walk right in. But to her utter surprise, the footsteps stopped on the correct side and he lightly tapped on the door.

"Maxie? You okay?" She could hear the teasing note in his voice and realized that she'd been in there for a while.

She tried to answer, but once again was struck semi-mute. What did he think could happen to her in there? That she'd drowned in the toilet? "Um, yeah," she finally forced out. She backed up from the door when she saw the handle start to twist. Alec cautiously poked his head inside, seemingly surprised to see her so near. He cocked his head at her, puzzlement showing plainly in his eyes.

"You don't sound okay," he accused lightly. Max bit her lip. What the hell was she going to tell him? Sorry Alec, apparently we seem to be married and living together and having phenomenal sex, but I sure can't remember how that happened. So she went with her second choice. The other truth.

"Headache," she replied tightly. Alec sighed and let the door swing open fully.

"Sweetie, you're supposed to say that before sex," he teased with his trademark smirk, "not after."

"Yeah, I guess," she murmured, dropping her eyes. He stepped forward and cupped her cheek.

"Must be bad," he whispered. "You didn't even smack me for that one."

"Mm," she agreed. Okay, another piece of information. They were comfortable enough to still tease each other. Well, Alec teased and she retaliated physically. A familiar, comfortable pattern to her at this point. But seeing the gentleness in his eyes and not the usual mocking undertone unnerved her a little more than she already was. He kissed her forehead and she found herself leaning into it. He pulled away and ducked down slightly to catch her eyes.

"I've got some coffee going," he offered. "Maybe a cup will help."

"Yeah, sounds good," she agreed tonelessly. Alec grimaced as her eyes shuttered themselves. He took her hand and pulled her back out to the living room. He nudged her towards the sofa and as she sat, Max saw even more evidence of their apparent life together. There was a television where none had been before. Books scattered on the coffee table that she'd never been interested in reading. A leather jacket that was not hers tossed on a chair. Shoes, definitely too large for her casually kicked off and left where they landed. She had the impish urge to nag him about that. She groaned. She was a nagger?

Alec stopped on his way to the kitchen and returned to her side, careful not to jar her as he sat beside her. "Seriously Maxie. You don't look okay. Are you sure it's just a headache?" Max smiled shyly. She was definitely not used to seeing this caring side of Alec. And the more she saw, the more she liked. "You didn't bump your head last night, did you?"

"I don't think I did," she replied guardedly. She sure as shooting didn't remember last night. Alec reached up carefully and ran his hands through her curly hair, testing gently. Max felt the urge to lean into him again. His fingers against her scalp felt so good right now.

"Don't feel any bumps," Alec shrugged. "Tender anywhere?" She shook her head.

"Maybe I rolled over in the night and bumped it on that incredibly large… head of yours" she grinned up at him, at the look of pleasure on his face at her rejoinder. It somehow felt right to tease him back. To flirt with him. After all, they were married. That's what married couples do, right? They tease each other, have inside jokes.

"Wouldn't be the first time," his tone deepened slightly and Max's grin widened when she saw the shot of desire running through his clear hazel eyes. She could certainly get used to this.

"You know what I want," she crooned in his ear, her own voice lower than usual. He shuddered slightly as her breath tickled his sensitive flesh.

"What?" he gulped.

"Coffee," she giggled as he did a double take, then rolled his eyes.

"You are a cruel woman," he snorted, rising from the sofa. "I hope you know that."

He returned a few minutes later, a coffee mug in each hand. Max was about to tease him some more, but saw the contrite look on his face. She took the mug he proffered and curled her feet up underneath her while blowing on the steaming liquid. Alec set his own on the coffee table before them and sat down sideways, so that he could face her. "God Maxie, I'm sorry," he began. "I am such a screw-up. I completely forgot what day it was."

She stilled, taking that in. "You did?" she asked hesitantly. She couldn't blame him. She had no idea either what day it was. Alec took the mug from her trembling hands and set it beside his.

"I did," he confirmed. Her eyes were wide, trying to piece this together. Of course it would actually help if she had a date to list in her mind against important things that had been happening. "I know you don't like to think about it, but everything's okay now." Max's mind started to whirl again. Obviously, from his tone, everything was not okay. That told her immediately, it wasn't a good day, today. Something big must be happening, for him to be this concerned over it. His voice was strained and Max felt her heartbeat speed up.

Alec must have noticed too, for he pulled her into his embrace, stroking her hair, her back, seemingly to try and soothe her. "Alec?" she let out a strangled moan as myriad possibilities clamored in her thoughts.

"He's gone Maxie," he whispered. "Don't think about him today. White's gone. And Joshua…" he trailed off as she went absolutely still.

Joshua! What had happened to Joshua? Was he gone? Was he dead? Was today the anniversary of Joshua's death? Max felt the tears leak from her eyes as her lashes lowered, fear squeezing at her heart. If anyone, Joshua was the one person it would kill her to lose. And perhaps she had. Perhaps she was waking up from the nightmare of what had happened, not knowing, not remembering because that blow had been too painful. She burrowed into the arms of the only person there to offer her comfort.


	5. We Almost Took A Wrong Turn

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Five

We Almost Took A Wrong Turn

"Alec?" Max tried again, her voice muffled from her head being pressed into the massive seeming expanse of his chest. He continued to stroke her hair, wanting her calm. Or at least not ready to pummel him for forgetting what today was.

"Come on Maxie," he cajoled, finally pulling back. "You know, when you think about it, this is actually a good day."

Max yanked herself back from him. The anniversary of Joshua's death was a good day? She stared at him as if he were insane. And Alec… looked wary. Max's lips thinned. Oh, he certainly had good reason to be wary. Husband or no, she'd still kick his ass for his callous behavior. And then she realized he had continued speaking.

"…know it took longer than normal, but you got to admit, a month's recovery time is acceptable with what White did to him," Alec shrugged. He picked up his coffee mug; not realizing that Max had zoned out for a second.

"What?" Max demanded harshly. Recovery time? What the hell was he talking about now? Who had recovered from White?

Alec sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. "Seriously honey, you're starting to scare me." He peered intently at her, noticing immediately the glazed look of pain on her face, the sharp pinpoints her eyes had become. "I don't like this," he announced. "Come on, go get dressed. You're going." He set his mug back down with a thump and rose to his feet. Max stared up at him, her heart constricting. She was scaring him? He was the one that wouldn't explain things clearly to her so that she could get the big picture. _'But he doesn't know you don't remember anything.'_ The little voice in her head nagged. Alec wanted her to go? Go where?

"Going where?" she asked, biting her lip to keep it from trembling.

"To the infirmary," Alec replied quickly. "You were going there anyway to pick up Joshua. So you can just let Doc check you out first."

"No," she protested before he even got the entire sentence out. "There's nothing wrong with me," she denied, mentally crossing her fingers that she was right. Alec grabbed her hand and pulled her reluctant form to her feet. She stared up at him, surprised in a way to see concern etched on his features. She softened a little. It was concern for her.

"Max, you have a headache. We weren't drinking last night; you didn't bang your head. So you shouldn't have a headache," Alec explained slowly, hoping that she would understand.

"Or maybe I slept wrong," Max shrugged a shoulder, still unwilling to admit the truth to him. "Maybe I slept too long. I have had headaches before Alec," she smirked as she rolled her eyes.

"Not as long as I've known you," Alec refused to be deterred.

"Yes I did," she chuckled. "These humungous headaches that amazingly, resembled you."

"Ha ha, very funny," Alec grinned. "Come on Maxie. I love you. Can you really blame me for wanting to make sure you're okay?" Max's body stilled as she once again heard those three little words. That was twice now in the last hour that she'd heard him say it. Her heart swelled. Alec loved her. Alec, pain in the ass, love 'em and leave 'em hot boy loved her. Max's mouth went dry as she tried to search her non-existent memory to see if she could recall him ever saying that to her before. But the memories wouldn't come. Did she ever say it to him? That was a big question. If they were married, she must have. Could she say it now? Her mouth opened, but no sound came out.

"Ha, knew it!" Alec crowed. Max's mouth snapped shut. He knew she couldn't say it? But then why did he look happy? "I win! You have no arguments left. So let's go." She blinked slowly. This whole morning was just getting too damn confusing. She barely noticed as Alec dragged her back to the bedroom.

It didn't take long for them to dress, although Max was a little hesitant to do so while he was still in the room. But Alec seemed to think it was normal, not even batting an eye as he withdrew his clothes from the wardrobe and pulled them on. He didn't say a word as she turned her back to him, quite shy even in the face of the knowledge that they probably did this every morning. When she turned back around, he was tying up his shoes; his attention focused solely on his foot attire. The blush that had stained her cheeks slowly bled from her skin. She retrieved a pair of shoes for herself and took a seat beside her husband.

"Oh hey," she murmured, remembering a thought from earlier. "Don't forget to pick up your shoes out in the living room." She glanced up as she heard his sigh. She hid a grin as he rolled his eyes. "Alec!"

"Nag, nag, nag," he chuckled. He waited until she was upright again and poked her playfully in the ribs. Max scowled at him and batted his hand away.

"Don't call me a nag," she protested, although she was secretly pleased that she seemed to have recalled something correctly. "I was just reminding you about something."

"Which you do every day," he snorted. "In my books, that constitutes a nag." He stood and reached a hand out for her to take, which she did.

"And if you'd pick things up, then I wouldn't have to remind you."

"So this is my fault that you're a nag?" he smirked. Her mouth went a little dry. He looked so incredibly sexy like that. So self-assured that expression was. It was a heady thing, that smirk directed her way. And Max did remember it from before, but then it had annoyed her. And now she knew why. She had been jealous of his confidence in himself, when she always seemed to suffer so many doubts about her life. But maybe, just maybe his confidence was rubbing off on her. Wanting to test her theory, she lightly plucked at the material of his T-shirt, drawing him forward. He looked at her quizzically, until she tilted her head back slightly and softly brushed her lips against his.

Max felt his lips twist up in a grin before returning her kiss. She pulled back from him, not daring to look in his eyes. Somehow, she felt as if she didn't much take the initiative when it came to romance. For too long she'd hidden herself beneath her tough chick exterior. She busied herself with smoothing the fabric that she'd disturbed. She cleared her throat. "What were we talking about?"

"Infirmary," he answered softly, bemused at her behavior. "Remember, Joshua?"

"Joshua, right," she cleared her throat once more and stepped out of the bedroom, her husband right behind her. It wasn't until they reached the street that she realized she'd been neatly diverted from getting him to clean up after himself.

"Alec you rat!" she laughed.

"What!" he looked shocked, although the familiar mischievous twinkle was present in his eyes.

"You know what!" she tried to stop the giggling, but he had been slick. Using her own weakness for him against her. He grinned back at her cheekily.

"I promise," he mock swore, holding his hand up in the air, "I'll pick them up tonight."

"Uh huh," she nodded. "Where have I heard that before?" She didn't have time to consider her own words as he tucked an arm around her waist and dragged her through the familiar streets of Terminal City.


	6. The Quickest Path Is A Straight Line

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Six

The Quickest Path Is A Straight Line

Max was glad that she'd unconsciously followed her husband's lead when choosing her clothes. As they made their way to the infirmary, she was increasingly aware of the cooler temperatures outside. As another person, one she didn't recognize, stopped them to talk a moment with Alec, Max forced herself to analyze the situation. Or part of it at least. Not that it was hard. It was chilly out. Alec had dressed warmly and had given her a coat. All the others they saw or ran into were also dressed warmly. And there was that familiar chilly scent in the air that spoke of a Seattle winter. So at least now she had some sort of clue as to when it was. Max shivered unconsciously, perturbed still with the idea that time had passed of which she had no knowledge.

Alec, with his arm still around her, noticed and broke off his conversation. She had been acting slightly odd all morning. Every time he fully expected her to jump into the conversation, he'd glance down to see her staring off into space, or studying another person. And while he found the slightly quizzical look on her face oddly endearing, it was just another worry to add to the list in his mind.

"We'll sort this out over at HQ, okay," Alec finally decided. Max glanced up at him and smiled softly, knowing that he'd probably thought she was just cold.

"Okay man," the other man grinned, even as he knew he would be completely ignored. Everyone around TC knew that when Max smiled at her husband like that, Alec would blissfully ignore his butt being on fire. But fortunately it wasn't. Jake shook his head as he turned away from the happy couple and headed back to discuss the latest issues of TC's very own soap opera.

Alec did not in fact spare a glance for anyone else as he asked softly, "cold?"

Max nodded. "Just a little."

"Well, let's get going then," he whispered huskily. "The sooner we get Josh taken care of, the sooner I can take care of you."

"I like the sound of that."

"I thought you would."

They moved purposefully now towards the infirmary. It was a familiar gait that others knew not to interrupt. Max, who'd been quietly trying to interpret her surroundings without alerting anyone to the fact that apparently she couldn't remember what had happened between summer and winter, felt the apprehension coiling in her stomach with each step nearer. She tried to forestall it, knowing that Alec could feel the tension in her. She was surprised that instead of his usual joke to try and dispel the angry aura she usually drew around herself, Alec had instead been stroking her shoulder as they walked. The motion was soothing and she was grateful. But it was just another signal of how much things had changed. Things she still wasn't fully aware of.

They entered the building that housed their infirmary and both their senses were assaulted by the pungent smell of antiseptic that always pervaded hospitals. Max's nose crinkled up a little as she took it in. Alec glanced down at her, just as annoyed with the smells and memories assaulting him. He pulled his arm a little tighter and was glad when she just accepted it. He was fully expecting her to shove him away and deal with things her own way. But she didn't. Max just slowly pulled from his embrace as she stepped forward. But she did catch his hand as it slid down her arm. She transferred his hand to her other and tugged him along behind her. He didn't resist.

Max was trembling inside. As soon as they'd stepped into the building, she had, well she wasn't quite sure what it was. Almost an instinct about where she needed to be. It was strange, because she'd never been able to sense where Joshua was until he was in her very near vicinity. But all her senses were pulling her down a long corridor until they came to the second last room on the left. She paused outside the door, slightly ajar, squaring herself for what she would find inside. Alec gave her a gentle nudge from behind.

"Go on," he whispered. "He's been missing you these last couple days." She nodded absently and pushed the door open. And to her utter relief, there stood Joshua, slowly folding a shirt and pressing it into a bag; obviously full of the belongings he'd accumulated during his stay. His head snapped up though and Max could see the grin on his face already. She took a step forward, just as he turned to face her fully. And stopped dead with an audible gasp. They stared at one another, as an awkwardness that rarely occurred between them seemed to fill the air.

"L'il fella?" Joshua asked in a pleading tone. Max heard it, felt herself respond to it, but so much more was in her mind. _'Get a grip!'_ she ordered herself firmly. She knew that something bad had happened to him. Knew that he'd been recovering for a while. But she'd never been expecting the angry lashings across the left side of his face, still an ugly, fiery red, only to be broken by the distressing neutral colored eye patch over his left eye. _'Oh God!'_ she realized. _'White took his eye.'_ Joshua whimpered slightly and Max found herself rushing forward to comfort him.

"Hey Joshua," she murmured into his chest as he hugged her tightly. This was right. This was something else that was instinctive in her. Never once had she turned away from her big fella. She couldn't let him think that she was turning from him now. She stepped back and gestured to the bag on the bed. "Are you all ready?"

Joshua cocked his head to the side, as he usually did when a thought had occurred to him. "L'il fella okay?" he asked, concern etched in his features.

"I'm okay Joshua," she tried to reassure him. But he obviously didn't believe her as he scrunched down a bit to look fully into her eyes. She watched in morbid fascination, as he had to turn his head to do so. But then, he'd been dealing with this new problem, his new handicap for a month. Whereas it was still quite a shock for her.

"No," he decided finally. "Something wrong. Something different about Max."

Her eyes widened as she scrambled to cover herself from his probing gaze. "It's just a headache," she lied. How the hell did Joshua know there was something wrong? Certainly there was. Had she changed so much in the last six months that acting like herself was no longer herself? She breathed deeply, the headache trying to return with the weight of that strange thought.

"So you still have it?" a familiar voice asked from behind her. Max spun around to see Doc entering Josh's room, Alec dogging his steps. Her little fink husband must have ratted her out.

"Alec!" she protested, ignoring Doc completely. "I told you, I'm fine."

Alec opened his mouth to respond, but Doc forestalled him. "Alec's just concerned. Not that I blame him after last year's debacle." Max stared at him a moment, her mouth hanging open. Last year? When she had been shot? That certainly didn't make any sense. "But then again," he continued, "that as I recall, didn't start with a headache."

"No," Max agreed with a snort, "it certainly didn't." Yeah, the headache had definitely come after she'd been shot.

"So, you didn't bang your head?" Doc asked, a slight trace of amusement in his voice. Max grimaced at the X-4. Alec had certainly hurried to fill him in while she'd greeted Joshua. "And Alec said you weren't drinking."

Max threw her hands up in the air, "I don't see why everyone is making such a big deal out of this!" she shouted angrily, her eyes glittering. "Hello! I have had headaches before. It doesn't mean I'm dying." She would have continued her tirade, but caught the shuttered look on Alec's face. She recognized that easily enough. He was hiding something. She watched him for a microsecond as it came to her, how familiar that look was. She could almost hear his voice in her head, hauntingly, from another time; _'I'm always all right Maxie.'_ He was hiding his emotions. She softened again and stepped around Doc to wrap her harms around her husband. "I'm okay Alec."

He returned her embrace, sighing. He pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "I know," he admitted. "But I'm allowed to worry every now and then." She nodded and hugged him a little more. It was a worry everyone shared when they loved someone as much as he seemed to love her. As she loved him. And funny enough, the realization that she loved him didn't hit her like a jolt of lightening as other things had this morning. It settled on her like a comfortable, familiar blanket. Sniffling a little, she pulled back and smiled up at him. She'd been doing that a lot it seemed.

"I'm fine," she announced softly. "But if you're really that worried, I'll let Doc check me out."

Alec grinned in relief. "He'd better not be checking you out," he growled playfully and was rewarded with a rolling of her eyes. And a swift, but light slap on his arm. Doc and Joshua laughed along with him as Max shook her head in resignation. Some things about her husband would never change.

"All I can say Max," Doc finally offered, "is if you have a headache, then take some aspirin."

"We were out," she told him, remembering that much from her frantic search of the bathroom cabinet earlier.

"I'll get some to you then," Doc nodded. "And if you would like an appointment…"

"I'll let you know," she promised. Doc dipped his head and then turned to Joshua. "And you my man, are all set to get out of here. Just don't forget that Tina will be by tomorrow for your therapy."

"Won't forget," Joshua promised as the medic left. Max wondered briefly who Tina was, the name not being familiar to her. But it was just another thing to file away in her mind to think on later.

"Okay," Alec said smartly as he clapped his hands together. "I hate to say this, but I need to get to work. You guys going to be okay?"

"We'll be fine," Max assured him, lifting her face to his as he stepped closer. He brushed a soft kiss over her lips. "See you tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll be home for dinner," he promised. One more kiss to his forehead and then he turned to Joshua. "Josh, glad you're outta here man. I'll see you later."

"Yeah, later Alec."

A woman shouting after them stopped the walk to Joshua's apartment. They both turned to see who it was. Joshua recognized her after a moment, which could be forgiven, with his impaired depth perception. But Max had no idea who she was. The woman, a petite blonde, was carrying what looked like a medium sized canvas. Max's mind immediately and correctly identified her as another X-5.

"Hey Joshua," she greeted as she caught up with them. "You forgot this," she held out the canvas. To Max's surprise, Joshua dropped his bag and yanked the canvas from the woman's hands, looking slightly panicked.

"Thanks Tina," he spoke quickly, as he did when he was nervous. But at least it was one little mystery solved for Max. She peered at him, trying to discern why he was upset. She barely noticed as Tina turned away with a casual goodbye and hurried back to the infirmary. And then she realized what the problem could be. Joshua had been trying to paint. She smiled up at him, wanting desperately to reassure him. She knew full well how difficult life could become when something one believed they loved was taken so harshly from them.

"You've been painting big fella?" she asked gently. He glanced down at the painting in his arms, trying to hold it so that he wouldn't smear the paint, but also so Max couldn't see it.

"Trying to," he grunted. Max ducked quickly under his arm and caught a quick peek before he shuffled away. Her eyes widened as she took in the subject. It was a simple painting really, for him. Two hands entwined on a backdrop of black. But what startled her was not the elegance of the picture, but the rings that adorned the more feminine of the hands. They were her rings. Her wedding band and engagement ring.

"It's beautiful Joshua," she smiled tremulously.

"Supposed to be a secret," Joshua grumbled. "For Christmas. For Max and Alec." There it was. He hadn't wanted his surprise to be spoiled and she had unwittingly done so.

"I'm sorry," she apologized quickly. "I promise, I won't tell Alec and I'll act surprised."

Joshua regarded her for a moment before nodding. "Not finished yet anyway." He glanced down at the bag he had dropped then back at the painting. Max reached down and easily swung the bag over her shoulder.

"Let's get you home," she chuckled, realizing that they were drawing a few looks from the other inhabitants of their city. They set off, Max fervently hoping that he hadn't moved at any time over the summer. But he didn't appear to have when she led him up to the building next to where she and Alec resided and he made no protest. Josh's apartment was at the very top of the building. Max could understand how after living in a basement for the majority of his life had led him to request a place with a view.

The door was unlocked, but that wasn't much of a surprise. Nearly everything was open and welcome to the well-oiled machine that their little hub had become. Max deposited her friend's bag on the bed in the other room and returned to find him depositing the canvas on the easel set up close to the window. She moved up silently behind him as he dug around in the pocket of his coat and withdrew a slim paper. She watched as he clipped it to the easel. Her enhanced eyes zoomed in so she could see what it was. Her jaw dropped open as she recognized herself and Alec.

He was dressed in a black suit, with a crisp white shirt. The burgundy tie he wore set off the roses that were artfully placed in her swept up hair. Max caught a hint of a cream colored dress, but couldn't see much of it as she was behind Alec in the picture. But she did have her arms wrapped around his waist, one hand entwined with his. His head was turned as if he was whispering in her ear, but her eyes were focused on whoever had taken this picture. And then Max realized why Josh had the picture. He was creating an enlargement of their hands from that. It was all so simply beautiful that she wasn't sure how to react. Finally, she turned away to compose herself over a memory she no longer had access to.

"Max okay?" Joshua definitely sounded as worried now as he'd been before.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Max exploded angrily, not daring to look at Joshua, knowing the hurt she'd see in his eyes. Her shoulders hunched in as she felt the weight of what was missing from her clamoring at her. "I'm not fine," she whispered. She felt Joshua's hand hesitantly grasping her shoulder. She let him turn her around, to face him.

"Joshua knows," he tried to reassure her. She shook her head at him.

"How could you know?" she demanded tightly, angry with herself even as she slipped. "I don't even know."

"Max?" he asked hesitantly, obviously confused.

"I don't remember," she cried out. And then more softly. "I don't remember any of this."


	7. The Freedom Of Truth

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Seven

The Freedom of Truth

"What do you mean you don't remember?" Joshua asked, massive confusion tingeing his voice. Max could hear the tremble of fear behind those words. He'd spent so many years in the basement of Manticrore. He probably tried to forget many things that had come and gone over the years, trapped in that place, but it was obvious that he hadn't. She turned back to comfort him, but he was already speaking again. "Max remembers Joshua."

It was a statement of fact and Max couldn't help the small smile as she tried to reassure him. "Of course I haven't forgotten you Joshua," she said softly. She took a swift glance around his apartment; her earlier anger at feeling patronized had disappeared as quickly as it had come. "It's just… things have changed."

"Everything changes," he announced as if she, instead of losing memory, had instead lost brain cells. It was a unique feeling, having Joshua speak to her as if she were a child.

"Yeah, I know that," Max agreed. She moved to the couch in the center of the room and gingerly took a seat. Joshua remained where he was, watching her, trying to get a feel for where she was leading him. "But most people are aware of when things are changing. It's like, I woke up this morning and it was like I was suddenly dumped in this completely unfamiliar life."

Joshua tilted his head again and took an obvious whiff of the air around them. "But still the same Max. That hasn't changed. You are still you." Max chuckled.

"That's good to know," she asserted, then let out a heavy sigh. She could see that she was going to have to lay it all out for him before Joshua would understand what seemingly tragedy had befallen her. _'Oh yeah, like waking up in Alec's arms is such a tragedy,'_ her brain mocked her. And truthfully, how bad was this new life she'd stepped into? She was married to a gorgeous, funny, caring man who treated her like a spoiled little princess. Joshua, while hurt, was alive and still the insightful, loyal friend he'd been before. Sure there were new faces that she didn't recognize, but she hardly knew everyone in TC before. And apparently something had happened to her that had scared Alec badly enough to be overly solicitous for a little headache, probably brought on by her confusion. She thought for another moment before realizing belatedly that she hadn't factored in her other friends. What of Original Cindy and Sketch? Were they still a part of her life? She bit her lip as another person crossed her mind. Logan?

She glanced up, thinking that maybe Joshua was the best person to ask. But he'd been doing his own thinking as well and had come to some sort of conclusion. He moved forward, taking a seat beside her. "What's the last thing Max remembers?" he asked gently. Max inhaled sharply. She hadn't even thought that far back herself. Her eyes drifted shut as she tried to order her chaotic thoughts into something she could deal with. Slowly it came to her, the feelings first. She had been irritated and wet. She wasn't happy about something. What had it been? Her eyes popped open as she recalled Logan's pleading call to come visit him and cast her mind back to that instant. She mentally counted off on her fingers. It had been about five or six weeks after the initial siege.

"The last thing I clearly remember is heading over to Logan's," she spoke slowly, still trying to make sure that she was accurate. "He wanted me to come over, so I took one of the bikes and left TC." Her brow furrowed as she tried to follow her actions then through to the next point, but she couldn't. "I don't remember anything after that." Joshua nodded.

"Joshua knows," he asserted again. "Joshua remembers. It was bad."

Max glanced up; her heart skipping a beat as a sharp sliver of fear shuddered its way through her. She wondered if she was ready to hear any of this. But she needed to know. She had to know what had happened to he that had so drastically changed the life she had known. While it might not have been the best life, it was comfortable and familiar. This one was so infinitely stranger that she constantly felt like she was on pins and needles, not knowing what surprise would jump up and bite her on the ass. "Tell me," she finally demanded, trying to ignore the pleading in her tone.

"Hmm," Joshua sighed audibly. "Before Max gets to Logan's, hit by a car. But Alec was there. He helped. Called the doctor."

"Was I hurt badly?" she swallowed, sick at the thought that this had happened and even now, hearing the words, there was no resonance of recognition about the event. Joshua nodded in answer to her question.

"Doctor say Max in a sort of coma," he continued. "Was scared Max wouldn't wake up, but she did. Alec say Max confused, but okay."

"You're sure?" Max asked in puzzlement. Could that have been the connection between her headache now, the memory loss and Alec's reaction? Somehow it just didn't seem enough. "Okay, so that happened, but I was okay. That still doesn't really explain why I've lost the last six months of my life." She was staring hard at the floor before her and didn't see Joshua start in surprise at her words. A knock sounding on his door interrupted what either one of them were about to say. Joshua stared at her for a moment, clearly debating the wisdom of answering his door and putting off this conversation or ignoring it and hoping it would all go away. Max smirked and nodded to the door. She could wait another few moments.

"Come in!" Joshua called. The door swung open, having not been locked and Max's features lit up as a very familiar woman stepped in, her arms loaded down with bowls.

"Hey Joshua," Gem called back as she kept the door from hitting the wall with her foot. "Max."

"Hey Gem," Max replied with relief. At least she wouldn't have to keep up a pretense, or at least much of one around this person. "Where's Angie?" It was rare to see Gem without her darling little daughter in her arms. Max bit her lip suddenly, realizing that Gem wasn't such a new mother anymore, prone to keeping her daughter with her at all moments like she initially had.

"Right behind me," Gem chuckled. She glanced over her shoulder and made encouraging noises in her throat. She turned back to Joshua, lifting the bowls with a wry look on her face. "I thought you might like a little home cooking on your first day home. Angie tried to 'help'. She's carrying the bread."

"Ha," Joshua gave a nervous bark of laughter as he glanced nervously at Max. And he was right to be concerned. Max's face had gone completely slack as she took in the small child toddling on fairly steady legs after Gem. And even though it seemed to be some months since Max had last seen her, there was no accounting for the amount of growth since then. Max watched dumbly as the little girl, so very evident in her features that she was in fact Gem's daughter, tumbled into the room, running straight to her friend.

"Josh-wa!" she cried out as the man held open his arms to her. He swept her up as Gem shut the door and carried her own offering to the kitchen counter. "I hepped Mama make bread Josh-wa," she informed him happily.

"I see," Joshua chuckled, looking at the offering all bound up in plastic wrap. Angie had decorated it with glitter. He glanced at Max, glad to see that she'd finally closed her gaping mouth. "Angie makes good bread."

Max cleared her throat as the little girl smiled up at her expectantly, looking for more compliments. "I- uh, I see that." Angie was satisfied and began unwrapping the bread as Joshua tried to keep her from getting the glitter on the bread. She broke a piece off and shoved it into the laughing mouth of the gentle giant. She grinned happily as he tried to fit the large chunk in his mouth without choking. Almost as an afterthought, she broke off a much smaller piece and held it out to Max. She took it hesitantly, as if getting closer to the little girl would make things that much more real.

"Good sharing sweetie," Gem called, having watched the moment unfold. Angie beamed at her mother.

"Thank you," Max whispered, holding the bread in the palm of her hand. She glanced back and forth between the three other people before finally popping it into her mouth, chewing and swallowing as best she could. The bread had to pass a very large lump of fear that had lodged itself in her throat.

"It's nummy?" Angie asked. Max swallowed again and nodded, her head dropping as the little girl went back to ignoring her in favor of trying to feed Joshua more. He hadn't missed the interplay and emotion on Max's face and apparently neither had Gem.

"You know what," Gem decided suddenly. "We just stopped by to drop this off. I have to get back to the bakery. Come on baby. We'll let Max and Joshua be and come back later, okay?" The little girl protested a little, but with the promise that she could bake Joshua some cookies, she finally relented. They said goodbye and Gem scooped her daughter up to hurry them away.

Max waited until the door had shut and the footsteps had receded down the hallway before looking up at her friend. His face was a wellspring of concern. It was amazing how he looked exactly like Alec had earlier that morning. She couldn't help herself; the tears began to run down her cheeks before she even realized the moisture had formed in her eyes.

"How long Joshua?" she asked her voice tiny, defeated. The large man swept up the remains of the loaf of bread and settled it on the coffee table before him. He opened his arms, much as he had done for Angie and Max fell forward into him. He cradled her gently and let her sob, gently stroking her hair, trying as best he knew how to calm her. Finally, a little more steady, Max wiped the tears away and pulled back from him. "How long?" she repeated.

"Angie is, "he paused, "eighteen months old now. Very smart. Strong."

"Oh my God," Max breathed. She had lost nearly seventeen months of her life. It was near inconceivable. A few months she had been willing to accept. But this, it was too much. She bit her lip, trying to force down a resurgence of tears. She was strong, she could do this. "Tell me, please."

Joshua nodded and picked up the tale where he had led off. "After Max's accident, things were bad. People running and screaming. Cops holding us in. We had no food, no water, guns we shouldn't use. Familiars making things worse. Logan tried to help. But people mad at him too. But not everyone mad."

"What did we do to change that?" she whispered, because obviously something momentous had happened.

"That summer, people who knew us before, friends came forward. Told others not to hate us. Big mess. Tried to help us. Some arrested, some helped. Arranged for us to get food. Bribed some cops. We could get out, friends could get in. Alec and Max and others stole things we needed. Sometimes people gave them to us."

"Okay," Max translated his shortened sentences into a comprehensible scenario. "So we did have some supporters?" He nodded. "Did they start to change public opinion?" He nodded happily.

"Rita came," he grunted. Max's brows drew together as she tried to recall who Rita had been and was relieved to feel the recognition at the name. She had been the art gallery owner that had been buying Joshua's artwork. "Told people that my paintings were my paintings. People wanted more. Rita said the artist intrigued them. She said it was a matter of prestige to own something created by something so hated."

"People really said that to her?" Max demanded hotly. It seemed that no matter what her situation; her instincts to protect her friends were intact.

"It's okay Max," Joshua soothed with a rueful smile. To him, it was a long time ago. Max's lips twitched as she realized this too. She nodded at him, indicating for him to go on. "Gave Rita a bunch of paintings. She sold them. But they wanted more. Others started sending their art with me. Rita loved it all. Asked if we could have an artist's community. Soon, we had money."

"Well that's good," Max grinned She'd never forgotten her lessons learned in the cruel way of a cash oriented world. "But how did that change things?"

"With more money, not need to steal as much," Joshua shrugged. "And people talking more and more about us. Becoming famous for something other than being made in a lab."

"So it helped sway public opinion even more?" she asked, not needing his confirmation. "But what about White and the Familiars?"

"People being nice about us made them mad," he told her flatly. "They tried to get in and hurt us, but too many cops around. Cops said as long as we were peaceful, no need to go in. Familiars couldn't hurt the cops without making trouble for themselves. So then they tried to hurt others, making it look like it was transgenics. But Logan always found out the truth. Soon people suspicious of White, not us." Max nodded. That was good. It was extremely good. "But made White mad. Got Logan. Made Max make a deal. Max for Logan."

"And of course I agreed," Max groaned. She didn't need her memory for this. It was just how she was. But Joshua nodded anyway.

"Alec, Mole, me, everyone argued. Find another way. But you wouldn't listen," Joshua continued. "You went. But Alec followed. White let Logan go and took you. Alec couldn't get to you quick enough. But he followed. The next day, you got out. Don't know what happened to you then."

"I never told anyone?" Max asked softly, not sure she wanted to hear about her own torture.

"Couldn't," Joshua muttered. He glanced back up at his friend. "Too sick already. White made you sick. Alec was angry. Wanted to kill White, but had to get you home."

"How was I sick?" she demanded. Here they had finally come to what Alec had been reacting to. "What did White do to me?"

"Gave you many things," Joshua tried to explain. "Viruses, bacteria. Doctors took blood sample to figure it out. Couldn't find anything that would make you sick. Doctors thought it was the combination. Alec hoped there was a cure. He went after White. But there was no cure. Alec came back, hurt, almost dead himself. Cried. Thought you were dying."

"Was I dying?" Max asked hesitantly, the words sticking in her throat. Joshua glanced away, wondering if he should gloss over this. The mix of illnesses and their effect on her had baffled the doctors but she had pulled through and they had eventually figured it out. Finally, he nodded. Max let out the breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Oh my God. No wonder he was so worried this morning." And then she took note of what else he'd said. "Alec was hurt?"

"Fought with White, almost killed him then."

"But why didn't he?" This confounded her. The majority of the transgenics never understood her position on not killing humans. At that point, it didn't seem as if Ames White was human to the public anymore. Why would Alec hesitate? Was it in hopes to eventually get a cure?

"Because you always said no," Joshua replied simply. "Alec knocked White out, came home. Doctors were scared he would die to, wanted to fix him, but he said no. He said…. he said…"

"That if I died, he didn't want to be on this earth without me," Max whispered, her voice nearly reverent as the words, so simple, so sweet rolled through her mind. She could hear Alec's haunted voice, cracked with emotion and pain as the words spilled from his mouth. It was such a vivid memory that Max nearly shouted with pleasure that she had remembered. But agony was hers again as the memory faded back into the oblivion. But it gave her hope. If she could remember that one thing, on top of the other urges and feelings about this missing time as she had today, maybe she had a chance of getting it all back. She shook herself. "What happened then?"

"Alec needed help, so doctors sedated him and helped fix him," Joshua recalled, feeling a little better now that the sadness on his friend's face had been replaced with a look of determination. This was the Max he knew and loved. "Max started getting better. It was the Familiar blood from snake that was making you sick. But you survived. Doctors told you Alec was sick. You went to him and he woke up."

"So he was okay?" Max asked inanely. Obviously he had been. He'd been standing beside her this morning, healthy and happy. Josh smiled. "Then what?"

"Max and Alec better. In love. Got married," he said it so simply, as if it had always been a foregone conclusion and Max smiled. "Transgenics all better too. Decided that art was doing well. Make other business. Now," he was beaming as he made his announcement, "we members of community. Have art community, bakery, computer company. Keep all our business in Seattle. Help other communities. People liking us because we support other businesses. Even help police."

"We do?" Max chuckled. She stared at Joshua, amazed at how much everything had changed and for the better. There had been some massive bumps in the road, but it seemed all had turned out well. She could breath easily now, knowing this. It didn't make it easier that she couldn't remember. But at least things weren't as awful as she had feared.

"Max?" Joshua nudged at her, bringing her out of her reverie.

"What?"

"You gonna tell Alec?"


	8. A Picture's Worth

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Eight

A Picture's Worth

Max had finally left Joshua's still no closer to an answer than she had been when Joshua first asked his ultimate question. _'You gonna tell Alec?'_ Was she? Could she tell Alec what she had told Joshua? That she had no memory of falling in love with him. That she didn't remember being in an accident, or being sick or any of the multitude of things that had happened in that long time. She shuddered slightly as she let herself into their apartment. She stood in the doorway, taking in the evidence of their life. _'How the hell could I lose a year and a half of my life?'_ she demanded of herself angrily. And such an impotrant time it was too. Of all the happenings in her life, these were the most momentous. She had gotten married for God's sake.

She slid the door shut behind her, seeing no reason to have more strange behavior attributed to her by anyone passing by. She glanced at the clock mounted in the kitchen, above the counter by the stove. She still had an hour before Alec had said he'd be home. And right now, all she wanted was a nice long soak to try and forget the things weighing so heavily on her mind.

It was a few minutes after six when Max finally roused herself out of the water. She'd sensed the time internally and confirmed it when she emerged from the bathroom, tightening the sash on her robe. She bit her lip, wonddeering why Alec was late. Although his lateness was minor, it was still a relief in a way for her. She had certainly not solved her new dilemma. To tell or not to tell. She looked at the clock again, then at the front door. He had said that he would be home fro dinner. Dinner was at six-thirty. She was certain of that. So that still gave her some time to come up with a meal. But Max had the feeling that she still wasn't any great shakes in the kitchen. But still, she could at least get something started. An idea would come to her, or by that time Alec would be home and he'd take over like he usually did. She barely even noticed the jolt of recognition as she recalled another piece of their lives. She smiled softly as she made her way into the kitchen. A hurried glance through the cupboards showed the evidence of her inadequacy in the kitchen. She rifled through the pre-packaged foods and easy to make dinner boxes that someone had stocked up on. A cursory glance through the refrigerator told the same story. She giggled to herself as she finally chose a few things and set them on the counter. But as she was pulling a pan from the lower cupboard, the telephone rang.

She hurried over to it, not liking how loud the tone was set. Obviously Alec was a heavy sleeper if the phone had to be set that loud. "Hello?"

Hey Maxie, it's me.

"Hey Alec," she smiled even though he couldn't see her, her knees going a little bit weaker in a way that had nothing to do with the steaming hot bath she'd just finished.

I just wanted to make sure you were home.

"Where else would I be?" she demanded sulkily, but playful. It just felt so right to be bantering like this. Back and forth without the former animosity.

Oh I don't know. Maybe still visiting Joshua?

"I got home about an hour ago," she informed him. "Took a nice hot bath, relaxed a bit." She lowered her voice slightly, taunting him. He groaned.

Don't do that baby, he whined. I've still got a bit to do and I need to concentrate.

She chuckled low in her throat. "Well then hurry up and get it done and get your ass home."

He laughed as well. Will do ma'am!

Max laughed again as she set the phone down, but her eyes caught the gleam of her rings once again. Could she tell Alec? Should she? Her eyelids drooped closed as she imagined the pained look on his face that would certainly be there if she told him the truth. She lifted her hand to her cheek, feeling the slim band and rough gem rubbing over the satiny skin of her jawbone. How could she do that to him? She lifted her other hand and adjusted the rings, making them sparkle even more as the light caught them anew. She couldn't. It was as plain and as simple as that. While these feelings of love might be new to her, they weren't for Alec. And there was no way she was going to possibly ruin what they had, what she'd unconsciously craved all her life, hurt him unneccesarily just because her memories were on the run for a while. And she was determiend that they would come back. One way or another, she'd remember.

The problem was, she didn't know where to start. All day long, the memories had just seeped in, catching her unaware. She tried forcing them, but that hadn't really panned out. What she needed was a trigger. She inhaled sharply as she relaised that there had to be one somewhere in the apartment. Dinner forgotten, she hurried over to the bookshelf that stood in the living room. She ran her hand along the shelves, looking for something. With a small shout of triumph, she found what she wanted.

Joshua had had a picture of her and Alec from their wedding. One wedding photograph usually meant more. Why have just one picture of such a happy occasion? From what she remembered of Bennet and Marianne Cale's wedding, the photographer they'd hired had been endlessly snapping pictures. Unless of course she and Alec hadn't been able to get a photographer. But they'd been all dressed up, it seemed like it had been a big affair. Curiously, she opened up the large white volume in her hands to the first page. She sighed in relief as it was definitely what she'd hoped it had been. Their wedding album. She hurried over to the couch, making herself comfotable, drawing her legs up in a familiar position. She opened the ook reverantly, taknig in the first page. Her lips curkled up in a smile as she read the inscription on the first page.

__

To Alec & Max McDowell

For their wedding

February 28th 2022

Love, Cindy

All photographs courtesy of Calvin S. Theodore

She chuckled. Good old Sketchy had put his camera to good use for once. She wondered idly what he was doing now. But she was much more interested in what she had been up to. She slowly leafed through the pages, taking in each photo with a practised eye, searching for details that would possibly provide more clues. She made it all the way to the end, still remembering nothing. She sighed as she shut the book forcibly. She had really thought this would help. Her head fell back against the cushions behind her. Was she trying to hard? Probably. She opened it again to her favorite picture so far. She statred at it, a dreamy look coming over her face. Original Cindy's delicate scrawl underneath the picture outlined for her the moment, as if she couldn't have guessed. Their first kiss as husband and wife. Max waited a moment, but nothing came. She flipped over to another page, finding a copy of the photograph that Joshua was painting from. But still there was nothing. She moved on into the reception. She recognized the familiar building, seeing HQ all dolled up in honor of them.

Her eye was caught on Alec's face in one of the photos. She smirked to himself as she took in the picture again. Above that picture were shots of them cutting a large sheet cake with their names written in burgundy and pink frosting. The picture that had captured her attention was one of her feeding Alec a bite of cake. He looked hungry for more than just the cake she was offering him and she felt a warm tingle go straight down her spine. She relished it for a moment, waiting for more memories of heated looks, but none came.

_'I wonder if I did the time honored tradition of smushing the cake in his face?'_ she mused. But she couldn't have, because shortly after the dancing had begun, some of the younger X- series had gotten into a food fight with it. Max grinned as she flipped through the rest of the book quickly again. She was right. She'd just had another memory, as nowhere in the book were there signs of the food fight that she remembered as if it were yesterday. She laughed out loud just as the door slammed shut.

"Hey honey," Alec called. "I'm home."

"Hey," Max gasped out between chuckles. Alec moved into view kicking off his shoes. He was about to flop down next to her on the couch, but she recovered enough to give him somewhat of an evil eye.

"Oh all right, all right," he moaned as he moved back to pick up the shoes where they lay. "Happy?" he asked, grumpily.

"No," she muttered, frowning at him. He stared at her moment, puzzled, until she pointed at the other pair from before. With a roll of his eyes, he swept them up as well and mimed carry a large load as he pretended to stagger towards the bedroom. Max grinned at his back and qwuickly schooled her features into a calm manner. The smile threatened again as he just chucked the shoes into the bedroom, not caring where they landed. A little rebellion, one that she let slide. He returned to lean over the couch.

"What'cha looking at?" he asked sweetly.

"Wedding album," she answered softly, glancing up over her shoulder at him. He was looking down at the book in her lap.

"Oh yeah," he nodded, giving her a quick peck on her temple. "Man, we haven't looked at that in a while." She couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

"I was just remembering the food fight,' she was proud of how steady her voice was.

"Christ!" he swore, laughing as the memory caught him. "Remember Mole? I still can't believe tha tDirk snuffed his cigar in the remains. That kid ruined the only good piece left of the cake. I was going to eat it too," he sighed regretfully. Max was glad that her chuckles seemed to satisfy him. She didn't remember that. But just imagining the big lizard's reaction to that was enough to set her off. "Speaking of food," Alec continued, "what's for supper?"

"Food," she replied absently.

"What kind of food?"

"Edible food."

"What kind of edible food?" he asked in a sing-song voice, as if this was all familiar to him.

"Edible food from the kitchen," she grinned up at him. This definitely felt familiar. He rolled his eyes at her.

"Don't tell me you didn't at least start something cooking?" he groaned.

"Hey, I got caught up looking at pictures of our wedding," she paused and added softly. "Our absoluitely beautiful wedding." Alec tickled her shoulder, enjoying the dreamy look in her eyes. He pushed off the sofa, and headed to the kitchen. Max could hear him rattling around as she looked back at her favorite photo again.

"You know what my favorite part of the wedding was?" he called out to her.

"What?"

"The wedding night!"

Max's breath caught in her chest. She hadn't even thought of that. Was that the first time they'd made love. She reaclled that morning and was almost sure it hadn't been. But it had to have been special. Their first time as husband and wife. But Max could recall none of it. She closed the book, and set it on the coffee table, her movements jerky and absent-minded. She cursed inwardly again, for what seemed the millionth time that day. She looked towards the kitchen, taking in Alec's strong form as he moved back and forth between the counter and the fridge. Pulling out more items to whip something up.

Max was tired already of the situation. She wanted her memories back. The good, the bad, the lovemaking. But her wish was not to be granted. Determined, she stood and moved towards her husband. _'If I can't have my meories bak just yer, then I'll have to make some new ones._

"So, you in the mood for pas-tah?" Alec called out with a laugh, accentuating the last owrd.

"I don't think I'm hungry right now," Max whispered. Alec continued what he was doing, putting the pan under the stram of water he'd started in the sink.

"Oh come on Maxie," he chuckled. Supper is like, the third most important meal of the day."

"I'm not hungry," she murmured again. Something in her tone finally caught her attention as he glanced back over his shoulder to see the robe she'd been wearing slipping down over her shoulders to lay tantalizingly across her gleaming breasts. Alec swallowed heavily, barely realizing that the pot he was holding was overflowing, sloshing warm water all over his hand. "Not for food, anyway," she ammended, siling seductively at hmi.


	9. Little Moments Bring Big Realizations

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Nine

Little Moments Bring Big Realizations

"So when do we eat?" Max demanded softly as she nudged Alec in the side. He mumbled against her prodding, but she continued, knowing he wouldn't sleep well later if he didn't get up now. She'd slept, as near as she could figure, for half an hour. And darn it, she was hungry. Alec sleepily brushed her hand away and rolled to his side.

"No eat," he mumbled. "Sleep." Max regarded his broad back for a moment before an evil smile spread across her face. Using the knowledge she'd gleaned earlier, she let her fingers creep over his hip, right into the juncture where pelvic bone met leg bone. A slight wiggling of her fingers was all it took to have him flying upright. "Jesus Maxie!" he bit off, glaring at her. "I hate when you do that."

Max stared at him a moment stunned by his reaction. Certainly it wasn't what she'd expected. The sudden fury on his face was frightening. She felt her lower lip tremble as she pulled away from him. Alec noticed and sighed heavily, running a distracted hand through his hair, absently trying to soothe the bed head he'd developed. "I'm sorry Maxie," he whispered as she ducked her head. "You know I just hate being tickled there." His hand reached to cup her cheek, but instead of nuzzling it, she turned away.

"No, I'm sorry," she whispered back, drawing in a hasty, unsteady breath. He leaned a little closer to her. "I should have remembered," she murmured bitterly.

"It's okay," he assured her slowly. "Just please don't do it again." She nodded, still not looking at him. She pulled away, upset with herself more now than she'd been all day. She clambered off the bed, towards her robe. Picking it up, she wrapped it around herself, jerking the tie sharply, an armor against his startling anger.

"I'll make dinner," she told him as she exited the room. She didn't need to turn back to know that he was staring at her in puzzlement. She could feel the weight of it burning into her back. She moved to the kitchen, set upon her self appointed task. She had no idea what he'd planned to go along with the pasta she'd set out and didn't really care. Her movements were mechanical as she refilled the pot with fresh water and started the stove. The noise she was making didn't register in her mind as the cacophony of thoughts tumbling in her mind took over. She chastised herself for such a stupid, obvious mistake. In some part of her, she knew Alec didn't like being tickled. Well, for the most part. She'd figured it out again tonight. Yet everything had been going so well between them that she hadn't given thought to doing exactly as she pleased.

And what had she wanted from him? His attention? A reaction? Well, she'd certainly received both. She bit her lower lip softly. How had one simple moment turned around so horribly? She'd just meant to get him up so they could eat. And he'd almost bitten her head off. She shook slightly, remembering the anger in his eyes. It was amazing he hadn't instinctively lashed out. She would have, in his position. Max inhaled sharply as this thought burned through her mind. Was this how Alec had been feeling all those many times when he'd actually reached out to her, only to have her viciously rebuff him? Her hand trembled, spilling the macaroni she'd picked up over the stove and counter and onto the floor.

"Max? Max!" Alec's voice finally penetrated and she turned from staring at the spill she'd made to her husband, holding the cordless phone in one hand out to her. Habitually, she smoothed her face to a blank mask, knowing it wouldn't fool him. But like the covering of her robe, the mantle of neutrality was comfortable and soothing and she needed that desperately now.

"Yeah?" she asked quietly. His face scrunched up a little, worrying at this complex issue that he had no idea how to begin unraveling.

"It's Cindy," he waved the phone at her. "Didn't you hear the phone ringing?"

"Sorry," she shrugged a little then gestured to the stove. "Got caught up in what I was doing."

His mouth twisted wryly. "Yeah," he glanced down at the floor as well. "I can see that."

Max didn't bother to explain. She really couldn't at that moment. She just held her hand out for the phone, which Alec handed over with a sigh. He nudged her out of the way and retrieved the broom and dustpan, setting out to sweep things up. Max watched for a moment, the quirky, wifely thought of how quick he was to clean up some food but never seemed to pick up his clothes crossed her mind. And then a loud feminine voice reminded her of who was waiting. Max took a deep breath, forcing her voice to be cheerful.

"Hey O.C.," she chirped. "What's up?"

"Damn boo," her friend launched into the conversation as if it had just been yesterday that they had spoken last. Which, knowing them, was probably the case. "Took ya long enough to answer."

"Sorry," Max apologized easily enough to her best friend. "I was getting dinner started."

"Oh, don't tell me you're just eatin' now?" Cindy demanded. "Never mind. I don't wanna know what else you were doin'."

"Don't ask, don't tell, is that it?" Max chuckled. She could always count on Original Cindy to keep her on the positive side.

"Always a good policy when it comes to you and hot boy," Cindy responded with her own chuckle. "But I don't have much time. Got a hot date myself tonight. Just thought I'd let you know that Normal's down with the plan. So all my stuff is good."

Max froze slightly. There was a plan? And Normal was in on it? What the hell dimension was she in now? Sure, Normal had changed his opinion of transgenics, but what grand scheme had they come up with and why on earth had they turned to Normal? But here was Cindy chatting about it as if it were the most, well, regular thing in the world. Her eyes widened as she realized she needed to make some sort of noise. "Uh… good. I'm glad that… worked out." She nearly winced at how pathetic she sounded. How was she going to figure out this new development? She murmured her good-byes and good luck for O.C's date and hung up the phone.

She moved to set the phone in its cradle, to charge up again. She heard Alec rustling around behind her and turned to see him rifling through one of the drawers. He pulled a knife from it and then pulled out the cutting board towards him and began slicing up the vegetables he'd retrieved. Max's mouth fell open to ask him or drop a hint about this newest development, her inquisitive nature asserting itself. But then realized that he probably knew her well enough now to tell when she was fishing for information. He'd seen her do it enough in the past. And then something else occurred to her. Maybe this plan had something to do with Alec. Certainly Normal would be quick enough to jump on the bandwagon if Max was planning a surprise for Alec. Had she been doing that? It would be a very wifely thing to do. Max smiled as she realized that that was exactly what she wanted to do for him. Plan a little something to bring that pleased, surprised, little boy look of excitement to his eyes.

"So what did Cindy say?" Alec asked, his back still to her, startling her out of her thoughts. "Did Normal agree?" Damn! Alec knew?

"Um, she said that it was fine with him," she informed him quietly. Alec stiffened up, slammed the knife down and spun around to face her.

"Max it's no big deal," he spoke softly, but determined. "Look, I'm sorry I reacted that badly. I didn't mean to." She understood that he was still brooding about earlier, as she had been only minutes before.

"No," she shook her head, "don't apologize to me. It's my fault. I should have remembered and I didn't."

"All right," he gave her a half smile. "Can we get over this now?" She nodded hesitantly, even though she knew that there was so much more to that moment than he realized. "Then smile Maxie," he growled under his breath as he began to advance on her, his posture animalistic as he stalked her. "Or I just might have to tickle you," he shouted as he bounded after her. Max, finally giving in to his pleading had seen the twinkle in his eye and had begun backing away from him. She shrieked as he leapt forward and twirled around, flight taking over her moment of self-pity.

He chased her a few minutes around the furniture until Max tired of the little game, slowing enough to finally be caught. With a triumphant shout, Alec vaulted over the couch, wrapping his arms around her, gently knocking her to the floor. With the forethought of having done this to her before, he'd straddled her thighs and caught her flailing hands up in one of his own as his fingers searched out those tender places that Max was barely aware of. In seconds he had her squirming and squealing.

"Come on Maxie," he taunted, his fingers never stilling. "Give."

"I give! I give!" she laughed, wheezing slightly. Alec grunted and eased up a little, letting her hands loose, tensing slightly. Max took this in, realizing that he was waiting for the expected smack somewhere on his body, like she had done in the past. _'Well, no more,'_ she decided. Her hand shot out; gripping him by the T-shirt he'd pulled on and yanked him down to her face. His lips met hers roughly, but he was quick to move from tension to sweet passion as he took her over, his mouth exploring her own. Her lips parted, still a little out of breath from their play. His tongue plundered her mouth, until her eyes began to glaze over. He pulled away, giving her a quick brush of his lips over her forehead.

"Mmm," she sighed happily.

"Ah, revenge is sweet," he chuckled. He pushed himself off of her and held out a hand to her. "Dinner?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow upwards. She nodded and took his hand, getting to her feet as well.

Max stared at the bedside alarm clock. The numbers slowly changed over to the next. Two o'clock in the morning. She groaned a little. She was wide awake, her mind going over the conversation that they'd had over dinner and afterwards. She'd asked about his day, pleased with herself that it was more out of interest than any other reason. Well, there was the determination to figure out this new life. But she really had been interested in what was occupying him outside their home. She had a good handle on where his interests lay in the apartment. After rambling on a bit about all the people he'd met with and how they'd resolved some problems, Max realized her error. She would have had a little more luck deciphering the day's information if she knew whom the people he was discussing where. He'd mentioned Mole, but only in passing. And he'd seen Gem and Angie when he'd gone to the bakery for a donut. But none of the other names were familiar. And he was talking about something called TC&E and TS. What the hell were those? She'd tried to cover with noncommittal responses and he didn't seem inclined to press her. He'd asked after Joshua and she'd given him vague answers.

Max briefly entertained the notion of waking her husband up, but twice in one day should have been enough, shouldn't it? She moaned again, biting her lip as the noise made Alec grunt in response. But he didn't wake, for which Max was at once grateful for and sorry about. She watched him a little, as he snuggled deeper into his pillow. One hand was resting across her stomach, the other, tucked under the pillow he was using, had caught up in one of her curls, grasping it loosely. Finally deciding that Alec needed rest more than anything, as much as she hated to admit it, she slid carefully from the bed.

She pulled open the drawer of the nightstand, considering leaving him a note, in case he did wake up. She wasn't in the mood to watch television or read and figured that maybe in the dead of night, she could do a little reconnaissance on her life. But to her mirthful amusement, instead of a pad of paper that she normally kept in the drawer, there was a sheaf of pre-written notes. Tilting them slightly to see them in the moonlight streaming in the bedroom window, she leafed through them. _'Gone to HQ. Gone to Joshua's. Gone to Gem's. Gone to Jam Pony.'_ Max frowned. She obviously spent a lot of sleepless nights away from home. She wondered if Alec minded that. But there was no help for it tonight. She plucked out the one indicating head quarters. It was slightly crumpled and worn, telling her that she'd used it more often than she had the others. Without realizing it, she slipped it into the hand that had been caressing her hair and replaced the others in the drawer.

She dressed swiftly, remembering to add her woolen coat that she preferred in cooler weather and was soon on her way. There was no one else about as she jogged towards the familiar building across the way. The silence that greeted her when she entered the building was like an old friend. Here there was no one to watch her, to worry if she slipped, to ponder her odd moods of contemplation. Just her and the bricks and mortar that held the strongest of her acceptable memories. She climbed up to the second floor, walking down the catwalk towards her office, noting the minor changes that had occurred.

There was more desks and computer equipment. Things had been cleaned up quite a bit since her last visit. No more were bits and pieces strewn around as the masses huddled together in shared confusion and with no direction. Max's steps were even, though no light bathed her path. She could see well enough and she'd traveled it often enough not to need hints. Which really hit her hard when she realized then that she'd already walked past the door to her office. She stopped, confused as she glanced back at the closed wooden door. Then turned to her left and looked at the door beyond it that had recently for her, not been there.

She remembered that other room, where a conference table had been set up. The door had been destroyed long before the transgenics moved into the city. It was pretty much a casual, blow off steam type meeting room. Curious as to why she was headed there, Max continued on. She turned the handle of the door and let the door swing in, and gasped. It was an office now. Her office. She could see that immediately. And even if she hadn't recognized her possessions she'd gathered here and there all deposited in this room, there was a sense of familiarity about it. Nodding quickly to herself, she stepped in, her hand finding the light switch on the wall and shut the door behind her.

The desk was slightly messy, as if she'd left in a little bit of a hurry. _'Alec probably dragged me out of here for some reason or another,'_ she grinned to herself. He'd done that often enough before. She set about straightening the papers, glancing over them as she did. There weren't many clues there, other than recognizing the orders for food and necessities from a well-known warehouse that seemed to be supplying the city. Max wondered idly if they'd ever put their plan to produce some of their own goods into action. Biohazard filled vegetables wouldn't have been saleable, but they figured they could eat them themselves without harmful side effects. And then Normal's name jumped up at her.

_'Someone check with Normal about Christmas stuff,'_ she read her own scrawl. "Well that really narrows things down," she muttered sarcastically. Lacking anything better to do, she grabbed a pen and made a checkmark beside the notation. She set the paper in her pile of things to be looked at again. She heard a light knock at the door and glanced over, surprised.

"Hey Max. I should have known you'd be here."


	10. Among Friends?

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Ten

Among Friends?

Max's eyes widened as the voice greeted her. But to her relief, it was just Dix. "Oh hey," she offered lamely. The grin on his cheerful face broadened. And then she realized he was sort of waiting for an answer, but before she could speak, he seemed to answer himself.

"Couldn't sleep, huh?" he nodded. "I guess you're taking a break from the All-Nighter."

She nearly choked on her own saliva when he made that little proclamation. Until it hit her that Dix was gazing at her without the slightest hint of embarrassment or amusement. It obviously meant something else. Max kept her gaze level as she tried to remember what Dix was referring to, but was unable to access the right information. As near as she could figure, by the name alone, it was probably some kind of bar. She vaguely remembered before the accident that there were plans to construct one. She hadn't been enthusiastic about it back then, but Alec had reminded her that everyone deserved some place where they could relax and blow off steam. She had finally approved, on the condition that they kept a carefully rotating schedule of visitors. That way, defenses were never abandoned. Alec had looked at her strangely. She wasn't sure then if it was because she'd actually came right out and put their militaristic needs before their humanity or that she'd questioned their own rational, that the transgenics would have done that anyway. She'd shrugged it off then and she didn't have much choice to do so now. But Dix was waiting.

She gestured down to the desk. "Just wanted to get things a little more organized," she smiled. And was rewarded with a laugh. But it didn't take much to keep Dix amused.

"You keep organizing the way you normally do and it'll give Jiminy an aneurysm," he noted. Max simply nodded, again no clue as to whom he was referring. But another thought struck at him. "Oh, and when you see him, tell him that we found some more filing cabinets for him." Okay, so maybe a secretary of some sort?

"Yeah, I can do that," Max bit her lip. Hopefully she'd get a clue as to which he was before she blundered into him. She decided she'd better put a kibosh on this conversation. "So what are you doing up?"

"Same thing as every night for the last week," he shrugged. "One of these nights, I'll figure out the right code and then we'll be in the money." Max's eyes narrowed. Code? Money? Damn it! Where they planning some sort of heist? She tried to tell herself that she needed to slow down. Words could be deceiving. They all had their own brand of slang. What irked her though was that she wasn't familiar with it, still. "And with all those kids breathing down my neck to finish, I'd really like to crack it."

"Which kids were those?" Max asked slowly, trying her best to simply look absented minded. To that effect, she tried shuffling through some more papers, unable to meet Dix's face. But to her relief, he didn't take it the wrong way.

"The ones in the test group," he answered companionably. "They keep switching around. Which is good I figure. We can get a broader range of answers as to who we should be catering to. But of course, the X-8's are a lot more advanced than norm's. I figure if they like the game and can figure it out, then it should be challenging enough for the ordinaries." Things suddenly clicked for Max then. Codes, kids, test group. Dix was doing what he did best, working with computers and most likely developing some game software to market and sell. She remembered that Joshua had mentioned some of the businesses that the Transgenics had opened. This was perhaps another?

"That's the truth," she offered softly in response to his assertion. Of course, the only contact she'd had with ordinary kids in her life had been the foster siblings she'd sometimes ended up with. Aside from that, she really had no idea how to handle kids. She was glad that Dix seemed to be getting along with them. Of course, Manticore kids were a lot more grown up than your average ordinary adult was. She smiled softly as she realized that here, they were finally kind of getting the chance to be kid-like again. Playing computer games, interacting with each other and not having to worry constantly about live ordinance drills and mission specs.

"So, did you want to go get some coffee?" Dix asked politely, albeit somewhat nervously. Max's head shot up again. Coffee? That in and of itself was simple. But going meant she'd end up somewhere with other people to interact with. People she most likely wouldn't remember. But the look of slight disappointment on his face swayed her more than she'd have liked. What was the harm of one cup of coffee? She'd been able to bluff her way through the majority of things today. A quick cup of Java shouldn't hurt.

"Yeah," she answered gruffly. "Um, maybe just one cup." His face lit up and he stepped back out of the office, waiting for her. Max felt slightly miserable as she realized just how much over the time that passed that Dix hadn't seemed to shake that need for approval from his superiors. Especially from the transgenics. The whole lot of them seemed to have come a long way from their initial segregation of transgenics and transhumans. That would be interesting to see in the coming days. How much they'd been able to unite against the initial common threat, and if those bonds still held today.

On the walk, Max encouraged Dix to keep talking about the computer code he was working on. She had a basic knowledge of computers, they all did. But it was Dix's specialty and his passion. A few nods and occasional grunt from her were all it took to keep him rambling on. She tried as subtly as possible to let him guide their walk, since she had no idea where he was going. Her only blunder came when he turned a corner abruptly and she kept walking straight ahead. She realized the movement only a step or two later and twisted her body around to catch up with him. He'd given her an amused look, one that spoke of a familiarity with her miss-step.

"Sorry," she apologized. "Just thinking about stuff to do tomorrow." He nodded, though his grin told her that he didn't quite believe her. But he didn't call her on that little lie. It was true in the past that she'd occasionally grow absent-minded. But she usually was able to track things better that it didn't show. '_But they were just humoring me'_ Max recalled. _'Always thinking of Alec when I should be working.'_ She smiled again. A ready-made excuse to use that was definitely believable. Mostly because it was true.

They arrived finally and Max was surprised to find that instead of the bar she'd expected it was more like a gentleman's club. Situated right next to the bakery. But while the bakery had closed at five that evening, the club was still going strong. She and Dix stepped inside and her ears where momentarily overwhelmed by the dull roar of conversation, the clacking of the balls striking each other on the pool tables, the slight buzz radiating from the television set in the corner. Some patrons glanced up and greeted Max warmly. She gave them a sickly smile and a small wave, although she felt like smacking herself in the head.

The All-Nighter wasn't a bar, obviously. More like the common room where those with DNA that caused abnormal sleeping patterns gathered, hence the name. She followed Dix into one of the backrooms, feeling as if the bottom of her stomach had dropped away. Like she had dropped down the rabbit hole and was still falling. She tried to force her attention back to the present, but her mind was still adrift as she heard Dix greet another person. They were in a kitchen now and Max could smell the inviting aroma of the coffee brewed, waiting for whoever wanted a cup. She was relieved suddenly to see that it was Tina that Dix was talking to. She was standing at the stove, stirring something in a pot. As they chatted, Dix opened a cupboard and pulled down two mugs. Tina glanced back and forth between the pair, finally giving Max an assessing stare. Max shifted uncomfortably and glanced down at the floor.

"Hey Max," her voice was low and nonchalant as she continued stirring. "I was making up a batch of my famous hot chocolate. Did you want some?" At the question, she tilted the pan in the other woman's direction and Max could see the light brown liquid swirling around as she stirred in some cream. The bitter smell of chocolate and the creamy sweet scent of caramel wafted to her nose. And as suddenly as the scents reached her, it was precisely what she was craving.

"Yeah, that sounds good," she agreed, throwing an apologetic look to Dix. He simply shrugged and filled one cup. He nudged the other towards Tina who acknowledged the movement with a small nod. Dix smiled again at the women and carried his cup out to the common room, believing that he was leaving them to their womanly bonding. _'I'm friends with Tine?'_ was what Max inferred from the body language. _'Or at least friendly to her.'_

The silence between them grew to uncomfortable proportions, for Max at least. She raced through what knowledge she could access of Tina. She was a physical therapist of sorts. Worked with Doc. Was a few inches taller than she, Max. And had light features to compliment her dirty blonde hair. That was it. What the hell could Max talk to her about without coming off looking a complete moron? But finally Tina took pity on her.

"Did Joshua do any more painting today?" she asked, her tone more than a little clinical sounding. Max shook her head.

"No. The painting was supposed to be a surprise," she sighed. "After we got back to his place, we talked, mostly."

"Just general talking?"

"Yeah," Max hedged, recognizing Tina's slight inquisition. "Just stuff in general."

"Did he talk about White?"

"Hey, doesn't that go against the Hippocratic oath or something?" Max demanded, keeping her tone light. "You know, talking about your patient behind their back?"

"That oath is to first do no harm," Tina smiled as she removed the spoon from the liquid and set it on the counter. "And I wasn't asking for specifics of what he said, just the topic. And lastly, honey, you know better than anyone does, I ain't a licensed doctor. So none of that applies to me."

"Yeah, I guess," Max returned the smile. Tina turned and poured out the steaming hot chocolate, wiping the edge of the pan with a cloth before returning it to the stove. She picked up the mugs, handing one to Max and led the way out of the kitchen. Max had another moment of panic when she realized that Tina had chosen to sit with a group of people she wasn't familiar with. She glanced about for Dix, but found him on the far end of the room, engrossed in a discussion with a mix of transgenics and transhumans. And from the looks of it, they were every bit the computer geek that Dix was.

Max swallowed heavily as she took in the room of smiling, laughing people. Was there anywhere that she belonged? Was there anyone who would invite her over? Did she have friends here? They'd been friendly enough when she walked in. But the longer she stood there, the more foolish she felt. She snorted mentally as she toyed with the rim of her cup. She had to start somewhere with them. And if she could brazen things out with Alec, she could certainly do so with people who didn't know her as intimately.


	11. Dealing With The Norm

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Eleven

Dealing With The Norm

"Hey Max!" someone finally called. Her head swung to the left and she saw one of the younger males of Terminal City trying to get her attention. If she figured correctly, he was one of numerous X-6's in the community. She mentally shrugged, glad only to be included. She ambled her way over to them, shyly appreciative of their welcoming smiles. The guy who'd called out to her, scooted aside to make room for her on the dilapidated couch he resided on. Seated in a semi-circle position, there was the boy to her left, with dark brown hair, a girl, also apparently an X-6. And across from them, two more young men, one with dark red hair, the other with light brown locks. The girl leaned forward.

"Thank God you joined us," she smiled. "They were about to brag my ear off." It wasn't her imagination that all of them puffed up slightly. And Max realized that she didn't normally socialize with them.

"Hey!" the redhead protested as he caught a whiff of Max's beverage. "You got some of Tina's hot chocolate. How come she didn't share with everyone?"

Max smiled sweetly," I guess Tina, just likes me more," she quipped. She brought the mug to her nose and made a show of inhaling before taking a sip of the steaming, sweet nectar. Their crestfallen faces amused her and lightly frowning faces as they glared as one towards Tina's back. But it only lasted a moment and she was sure it was nothing more than simple teen camaraderie.

So, uh, Max," the light haired boy turned back to her. "How are the Christmas plans going?" Four eager faces stared at her and Max busied herself taking another sip of hot chocolate. How to answer when she had no clue.

"Goin' good," she finally muttered, hoping that it were so. Letting loose their breaths, they nodded and the girl began to giggle.

"I wonder if Alec has told Mole about the tuxes yet?" This comment caused them all to laugh and Max, picturing the scaly transhuman in a tux, madly puffing away on a cigar made her join in.

"Well, nothing has blown up yet Chas," the redhead laughed, directing his words to the girl. "So I don't think he has yet." He turned to Max, as if looking for confirmation and she smiled widely at him. Max sighed and tried to relax. At least she finally had a name to put to one of them.

"So what have you all been up to?" she asked as gently as she could. And to her great relief, they all began clamoring on about work, their day and the upcoming Christmas plans. She sat with them for a little over an hour, gleaning as much as she could from them while offering as little as possible. So mainly, she was able to figure out that they were looking forward to the Christmas party. They didn't seem to mind her quietness. It was enough of a rush for the kids to be sitting with the X-5 leader of their fair city.

She watched each of them in turn. It was easy to see that the bonds of friendship were firmly entrenched. She smiled to herself though when the brunette teased Chas for the millionth time. The phrase, "just kidding!" rang out from his mouth almost every other sentence and Max picked up the mutual attraction the two had going. She wondered idly if they were just being shy with each other, or were not pursuing anything yet, so as not to upset the balance of the group dynamics. She glanced over at the other set of boys and realized that they were perfectly aware of the drama going on under their noses. _'Well they certainly have a handle on JK's feelings,'_ she decided. Thankfully her mug was empty, or she might have spilled. The boy's name was JK. And red over there was Dizzy and that left Mort. As if accessing a file, it all fell into place for her.

These kids had been in the same unit, had arrived at TC together. Alec had greeted them and warned them to come up with some names before Max found them. But to his chagrin, the others had named their fun-loving brother JK, short for the catch phrase always falling from his lips. Chas, Dizzy and Mort were a little better, but the kids were very tight lipped about how they had chosen them. But whatever their names, they'd been welcome, just like all the others. Finally their chatter began to taper off and Max realized that even with their professed night-loving DNA, they were starting to drag. If they actually all had it at all, she doubted. Probably Dizzy, he seemed least affected. The others were most likely staying up to keep him company. But she knew better than to suggest they hit the hay. Perhaps if she set the example? She almost snorted. Since when did she ever encourage others to look up for her, trying to be the moral compass of the group? Well, there was always her snotty attitude when Alec… well, she'd come a long way from then. She affected a yawn as she stood and stretched.

"I think I'm done in guys," she murmured. She gave them a blinky stare as they watched her expectantly. "I'm gonna head for bed." She saw Mort check his watch and took note of the others following his lead. She left her mug on the end table near the couch and smiled sleepily at them. She headed out the door, making sure to catch Dix's eye before she disappeared. He jerked his chin in her direction then turned back to what another transhuman was saying. Max slipped down to the end of the street and merged back into the shadows, wondering if the kids were going to take her hint. And she was satisfied when a few minutes later, thy tumbled from the building, laughing and hooting quietly in the silence of the streets. They split up almost immediately, wishing each other goodnights and headed for their respective bunks. Max held her breath as Dizzy strolled by her, but he never noticed her, or pretended she wasn't there.

Max felt like patting herself on the back. She'd successfully related to the kids and their needs. She'd figured out how to get them to do her bidding without being overtly obvious about it. She was taking care of her kids. Maybe that had been her job all along, aside from planning defensive strategies and supply lines. After all, every Manticorian knew how to do that, or at least where to start. But Max, the one who stood up and asked them to believe that they mattered, that all life counted, to stop running. She needed a hell of a lot more going for her to help create the life they were living now. Oh, she didn't kid herself. She hadn't done this single handedly. There were just a lot of lucky breaks along the way. But it still felt good. With a smile and a bounce in her step, she headed back to HQ. Best to get on her new project and figure out what the hell the next step was.

Max rubbed at her eyes, realizing that she'd been staring at the same page for the last twenty minutes. It seemed to her that there was a massive conspiracy going on to keep all the information, knowledge that she desperately needed right now, away from her. All she could find in her office were invoices, notes to call certain people and the list about Normal. At least she'd finally figured out what certain of the abbreviations Alec had mentioned were. Or at least what she hoped they were. TC&E was the company that Dix and his cronies were heading up. Transgenic Computers & Electronics. Creators of virus proof software, computer games and sundry other products that were being sold like hotcakes. TS was apparently Transgenic Securities. Max wasn't sure if they'd created a bank or if they might be the group Joshua had mentioned that helped out the Sector cops. She sighed in frustration as she shoved the paper to the other side of her desk.

She pushed her chair back from the desk, stretching as she stood. Over the last hour a hint of color had slowly melted through the night sky and Max realized it was past dawn. She glanced down from her window, inhaling deeply as she took in the first stirrings of life among the city. Mostly it was people on their way to work. But all of them looked fairly cheerful, at least from her vantagepoint. They knew what they were doing, where they were going. Just as she wished she did. She would give almost anything to be one of the mass down there, heading for work, knowing what to expect of the day.

Well, it wasn't quite true that she had no idea. She had one. And that was to call Normal. From all hints and clues gathered, he was doing something for them, for Christmas, which was rapidly approaching. She returned to the desk, taking a seat, then a deep breath. She pulled the phone towards her as she dug through her discarded paper file to find that note again. She grabbed a pen, ready to record whatever she could. Her finger dialed the number for Jam Pony, knowing that as usual he'd be there by himself, preparing mentally for dealing with his employees.

The phone only rang once before he picked up, chirping out his usual "Jam Pony!"

"Hey Normal," she paused and cleared her throat a little. "It's Max."

"Oh hey Missy," he responded with what she hoped was a humorous tone. "It's funny you called."

"It is?" a frown furrowed her brow.

"Yeah," he continued. "I was just getting a package ready for you. I'll send it over as soon as one of these feckless bums manages to make their way in to work."

"What's in it?" she asked, curiosity mixing with a mild dread. Normal was cheerful with her? Giving her things?

"Oh let's see," he murmured and she heard the rustling of paper from his end. "Let's see, some are the last of the RSVP's, There's a couple contracts from the hotels for you to look over. And, looks like a Christmas card or two." He paused, glee filling his voice. "I gotta tell you Missy miss, your husband is a genius."

"Uh," how the heck did she respond to that? "Yeah, he is. Alec's great." She heard the door open and glanced over to see Alec standing in the doorway, smiling at her.

"Talking about me again?" he grinned. She nodded and he pushed off the doorframe to sit at the edge of her desk. He bent over to kiss her as she dropped the phone receiver away from her mouth. She met his lips briefly before she heard Normal's squawk. She instantly pulled the phone back up to concentrate on what he was saying.

"Is that my Golden boy?" he demanded. "Let me talk to him a minute."

"Okay," Max murmured and watched as Alec mouthed _'who is it?'_ "Just a sec Normal."

Alec's eyes widened as he shook his hands in front of himself, trying to ward off the phone call. But Max just kept pressing the phone into him, trying to hide her laughter. Apparently, some things didn't change. Namely Normal's hero worship. Finally with a heavy sigh, he took the phone, but before answering, he pressed the phone into his chest and gave her an evil glare.

"You're gonna pay for that," he warned quietly. Max covered her mouth with her hand as she finally gave into the quiet giggles. Alec sighed again as he pressed the phone to his ear, his natural enthusiasm for most things allowing him to play his part. "Hey Normal, buddy. What's up?"

Max listened carefully to the conversation, but it seemed to be little more than Alec trying to deflect Normal's effusive praise. Finally he was able to hang up. His hand rested atop the phone as he looked down at her. "I've said it before and I'll say it again," he growled. "You're a cruel, cruel woman."

"Yes, but you wouldn't change me for the world," she quipped, her eyes bright. Alec rolled his eyes, but that didn't stop him from hauling her up into his lap for a proper good morning.

Max continued the rest of that day, somewhat in a fog. Her mind was rapidly trying to assess what was going on around her, while trying not to appear too obvious about it. She did learn who Jiminy was. And not the secretary she assumed. He was more a little wiry bundle of energy that managed the entire HQ. You wanted information, you went to Jiminy. You wanted coffee; he got it for you. You needed to multi-manage three phone calls at once, he was your motor mouth. Max was fascinated the first time she saw him do that. He was talking faster than Alec did trying to charm his way out of a doom impending situation. And when she remembered to inform him that they'd found more filing cabinets, he'd nearly exploded with glee.

He'd dragged her down to her old office and immediately began to plan out which files would be placed in the new cabinets. Max held her breath as she casually opened the nearest drawer. She was hard pressed not to let out a little shout of triumph at seeing the files full of information about life among TC. She swore to herself that she'd return that evening when everyone else had left and do a little reconnaissance.

She would have stayed, ostensibly to help Jiminy start rearranging, but she was called away. The messenger from Jam Pony had arrived and she needed to go down and get her package. Plus the messenger had asked to see her. So she headed down to the perimeter, slightly apprehensive of what she'd find. The last she'd seen of it, police cars, Army guards and various protesters had surrounded it. But now, there was a dead calm broken only by the sound of male laughter. As the fence came into view, Max gasped at the emptiness of it. But that was quickly replaced by a lift of pure glee.

"Sketchy!" she called excitedly, seeing just whom the messenger was. Her pace picked up as she jogged towards him and two transgenics.

He broke off from his conversation with the guards and glanced up at her. "Hey Max!" he called back. When she reached him, she held out her arms and after a moment's pause, he hugged her. She pulled back and took in his overall appearance. He'd definitely changed in the last year and a half. Gone were the sloppy clothes and ragamuffin hair. Now, he was smartly attired and clean-shaven. And she didn't think she'd ever seen him wearing black slacks before. He glanced down at himself as she took this in and let out a dry chuckle.

"Yeah I know," he smiled. "I ran into Normal this morning and after much begging and pleading, have been reduced to lowly messenger. But just for today."

So he was no longer working for Jam Pony. That begged the question of what he was doing now. But it could wait. "Well, as long as I get my package, I don't care who delivers it," she teased. His face fell momentarily.

"Thanks a lot Max," he grinned. He held out the package and she took it with barely a glance. And then he pulled out a smaller flat package from his back pocket and presented it to her. "I only agreed 'cause I thought you'd want these. They turned out really well."

Ah, thanks," she murmured, taking the envelope. She carefully glanced into it and was surprised to see a ream of pictures. She pulled a few out and grinned at the sight of Original Cindy laughing, prepared to blow out some candles on a birthday cake. Max let out a sigh of relief. She flipped through some more of them quickly, relieved to see that she and Alec had been included in the celebration. But on the heels of that, was the sudden fear that she'd be totally unable to converse on what happened that evening. Because the pictures would only be able to tell her so much. She shoved them into her back pocket and grinned up at her goofy friend. "Thanks for dropping them off. But I should probably get back to work."

"Yeah, not a problem," Sketch grinned and glanced at his watch. "I should get going to or I'm gonna be super late. I guess I'll see you at the benefit then. Say hi to Alec for me."

"I will," Max promised, even as her mind started swirling again. She waved good-bye to him, gave the guards a small nod and headed back to HQ, Jam Pony packet in hand.

It took her not long after that to begin to put some things together. The clues of the party, Mole's tux, the contracts with the hotel, the responses to invitations from local businesses, and Sketchy's reference to a benefit finally came together in her mind. The transgenics seemed to be hosting a fund-raiser, to benefit whom; she had no clue yet. Local businesses were invited and she still didn't know if Mole had been informed of the dress code. As it all came together, Max began to feel a headache pounding away at her mind. And all she could wonder was whose brilliant idea this had been.

The next week passed in a haze of activity. Every morning, Max tried to embrace the loving wife routine, slowly getting used to having Alec with her nearly all the time. They'd head for work, greeting people she still had only the faintest clue about. She'd spend most of the day in her new office going over paperwork and trying to bluff her way through, pretending to know what was what. Most of it, she was able to shunt off to the side with the excuse that she was concentrating on the party. She knew that Jiminy had finally started taking some of the more important things to Alec and was hardly bothering her about it. Alec didn't mention it either, so Max felt she could breathe safely in that regard.

But every night, she'd sleep a few hours and upon waking, would steal away from their bed and return to HQ. Slipping into Jiminy's office, she'd go over the information, file by file. Committing it all to memory. There were files on every resident in the city, but no photos to go with the names. There were the business plans of every idea they'd had. Some had come to fruition some had not. There were the contracts of which businesses they worked with, exported to and supported. There were notations on past contracts that had been fulfilled. Jam Pony were their messengers of choice. Sketchy was their official photographer from the Seattle Times Weekly. There were even newspaper clippings from his very first article 'Living The High Life'. Max smiled to see it, a full layout that included the trannies at work in all the aspects of their life in TC. She had giggled when she saw that Mole had refused to comment when asked what he thought of the peace overtures that had been made from the citizens of Seattle. _'He still wanted to blow 'em to kingdom come.'_

By the end of the week, what with her regular workload, even reduced as it was, and her nightly cramming session, Max was getting a little strung out. It was mid-afternoon when she finally gave the paperwork before her a shove off the desk. She knew it'd give Jiminy a heart attack, but it made her feel better. She was tired of co-ordinating things. Going over paperwork that no doubt, the trannies that had written them up, definitely didn't need her looking over their shoulders, second guessing what they were doing.

Decided, she pushed away from her desk and grabbed up her coat. She paused to stick her head in the file room and ask Jiminy if he wanted anything while she took a break. He'd shook his head no and with a lighthearted shrug, headed out. Her footsteps naturally took her in the direction of the bakery, where she and Alec had been sneaking off to for warm doughnuts when the mood struck them. But right then, she wasn't in the mood for confectionery treats. She paused and glanced around, knowing in an instance what she needed. She hurried towards Joshua's place, hoping he'd be home. They'd finally convinced him that he needed to get out and about and head back to work at the artist commune. He'd been nervous at first about the reaction he'd get. But everyone had been so happy to see him back, that he'd overcome that nervousness in an instant. Especially when some younger transgenics had dragged him off to give his opinion on their latest projects. Max had felt like they were leaving him in good hands and didn't protest when Alec had suggested they take some time for themselves.

Max nearly skipped up the steps to Joshua's apartment. But her feet stilled in the hallway when she heard Alec's voice drifting out to her. Her eyebrows drew together as she frowned. _'What the hell is he doing here?'_ she puzzled to herself. She crept closer, not wanting to alert her husband to her presence.

"…know something's wrong Josh," he was saying. Max wondered for a moment who he was talking about, but Joshua's reply filled her heart with dread.

"Max is okay Alec," the big man tried to reassure his friend.

"No she's not Josh," Alec replied, somewhat angrily. Max could hear the tired resignation in his voice. "Look, you've only seen her a couple times recently. I live with her. And something's off."

"How off?" Joshua asked quietly. Max held her breath. Would Joshua keep her secret as she'd asked him to?

"S-she's gone," Alec began. "Every night. She wakes up and sneaks off, leaving me notes, like she used to. But she never goes where she says she's going. She spends all her time holed up at HQ. She doesn't talk to anybody. She's quiet, all the time. She never argues with me anymore. She's not doing any of her work. Jiminy says it's like she suddenly stopped caring about everything. And Gem! Gem said that when she and Angie came by that day, Max was freaked out. Like something major had happened. And I want to know what it is!" he finally shouted.

"Calm down Alec," Joshua tried to soothe him. Max swallowed heavily. She should have known that she was getting it wrong. Alec was right. They'd lived together for a while, he'd be the perfect person to know all her habits and foibles. There wasn't anything that she could hide from him any more.

"I'm not gonna calm down until I know what's going on Josh," Alec ranted. "And I know you know. So spill. " He paused and Max could almost feel the bitterness and resentment rolling off him in waves. "Is she… does she still love me Joshua?"

Max nearly threw up when she heard the pain in his voice as he asked that heavily loaded question. Her mind raced, seeing suddenly how all these little clues came together from Alec's point of view. She bit her lip until she tasted blood, desperately wanting to break down the door and reassure her husband that not only did she love him before, but that she'd managed to fall in love with him all over again. She wiped away the tears that had begun flowing down her cheeks as she heard Joshua's sigh.

"Max still loves you Alec," he stated with certainty. "See it in her face, even when Alec not around."

A small pause. "Then what is it Joshua? Is she sick again? What's going on that she can't tell me?"

"Max is…" Joshua seemed at a loss for words. Max knew he had a hard time lying and felt even more sickened that she had forced her friend into this position. "Max needs time Alec," he finally asserted. "She'll be okay. And when she's ready, she'll tell you."

"But she's told you?" Alec demanded. Max was surprised to hear the bark of laughter from her friend.

"L'il fella told Joshua more than she realized," the big man chuckled. Max tilted her head sharply to the right. How had she done that? But she shrugged it off for the moment as the conversation continued. "When Max gets it all figured out, then she tell Alec."

"Okay," Alec finally murmured. "Tell me this though Josh, are you worried about her? Cause if you're worried, then…"

"No," Joshua laughed again. "Joshua not worried at all. Joshua pretty happy. And when Max tells Alec, he gonna be happy too."

Max crept away then, her mind turning over Joshua's last assertion. How on earth would it make Alec happy to know she'd been lying to him? That this last week had been almost pure pretense on her part. Just remembering the look of anger he'd given her that night made Max shudder. There was no way that she could tell Alec the truth right now. She squared her shoulders and began to quietly descend the steps. Time for a new plan.


	12. The Pretense Of Protection

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Twelve

The Pretense Of Protection

Max felt if anything, worse after she'd called Doc to set up an appointment. Not only was she lying to Alec, she was involving Doc and by extension Joshua. She had asked him to keep quiet about telling anything to Alec. And she could see instantly the strain it had created between her two favorite males. Of course, she didn't worry much about Doc. He was the canny sort who seemed to let things roll off his back, took things in stride. She was pretty sure that he'd have no problem playing along, especially if it helped put Alec's mind at rest. No all she had left to do was inform her husband of the appointment. And hope to hell that he didn't freak out.

To that end, she returned to their apartment and actually set out making dinner. It crossed her mind that this action in and of itself was enough to give Alec pause. But that was just a sacrifice she'd make in the grander scheme of things. As she worked, she wondered how to approach this dilemma. Should she just shrug off the appointment, or should she just be honest. _'Well, you could lie,'_ her brain taunted her. _'What's one more when all is said and done. If Alec finds out, he's gonna be hurt. And pissed. And a lot of other things.'_

But what other reason could she use that wouldn't worry him? It had to be the semi-truth, especially if she wanted to use her sincerity to convince him. So it wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't pure venomous lies either. She was so lost in her thoughts that she never heard the door bang open. Her first clue was when his strong arms slipped around her waist and he nuzzled at the side of her cheek.

"Oh!" she gasped at the suddenness of his being there. He chuckled and peered over her shoulder.

"Mm," he murmured, "what's for dinner?"

"Stir fry," she answered as she set the chopping knife down and turned in his arms. She wrapped her arms loosely about his neck. She tilted her chin up and he obligingly gave her a peck on the lips, but pulled back immediately. He stared down at her, amusement in his eyes.

"All right," he grinned. "Who are you and what did you do with my Maxie?" With an inelegant snort, she shoved him gently in the chest.

"Cut it out," she grumped and turned back to finish the vegetables.

"Sorry," he apologized, but the word was definitely hollow sounding. "It's just, you're actually making dinner. And early at that." He approached again, stilling her hand. He wrapped his free hand around her waist and waited half a second. "That leaves me to wonder… what did you do?" He drew out the words, tauntingly.

"I didn't do…" she began irritably, but stopped as she realized this was a good opening for her. She sighed heavily. Better to get this out of the way now. Otherwise she'd worry herself to death over it. And she could feel the sudden tenseness radiating from her husband. She pulled her hand free and set the knife down. She turned to face him, her hip resting against the counter.

"Max?"

"I- I needed a break this afternoon," she confessed haltingly, unable to meet his gaze. "So I thought I'd go see Joshua." She stopped, unsure how to tell him what she suspected he'd already figured out.

"You heard us, didn't you?" the words were accusing, but the tone was anything but. He ran a hand through his hair, scratching at the back of his neck. His hand dropped and reached for hers. "God, I'm sorry Maxie."

"No," she squeezed his hand. "It's okay. You're worried about me. I get it." She pulled him to her, wrapping her arms around his waist, as he had done to her earlier. "But there's nothing wrong with me Alec."

He sighed heavily and tilted his head back, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to rein in the rampant imaginings of his mind, all screaming that there was something wrong. He seemed to push them back, make them recede for a moment. "I know that Max. I know it with my head, but-!"

"Your heart doesn't agree?" she questioned. He nodded slowly. She nuzzled into his chest. It amazed her, to realize that in the past, none of the males in her life had ever worried like this. Sure, Eric had been worried about her life, couldn't handle it and had broken up with her as soon as possible. Logan had worried but not to this extent, figuring that an X-5 could pretty much handle herself. The flip side of the coin was this kind of fear for her could get really old, really quick. But for now, she reveled in the strength of the arms that held her, symbolizing the strength of the love they bore for each other. Finally, she felt the need to complete this little plan. "I kind of figured that's the way you felt." She murmured. His chest rumbled as he laughed.

"Well, I won't apologize for it."

"I don't expect you to," she said easily. "I think I'd be the same way."

"Yeah," he agreed with a grin, "except you'd be kicking my ass all the way to the shrink's office. Is that what I need to do with you?" He meant it to be teasing, but her sudden stilling didn't go unnoticed. "Max?"

"Um," she bit her lip, wincing a little. "I made an appointment to see Doc in the morning." She felt his arms go slack in surprise. "Alec?"

"You did what?" he demanded, the surprise tingeing his voice. "I thought you said nothing was wrong?" Max almost laughed as the thought of this little twist nearly had his head spinning 360 degrees and exploding. But she got herself under control to try and calm him down.

"Nothing is wrong," she stressed. "But I figured if you were that upset, then maybe Doc should have a look."

"Really?" he drawled in disbelief.

"Really," she affirmed.

"So when's the appointment?" he asked suspiciously. Obviously he was wondering what angle his wife was trying to play, knowing of her deep hatred of hospitals.

"Tomorrow morning at nine," she replied off-handedly, turning back to the vegetables.

"You're serious?" he scoffed. She nodded.

"Did you think I wasn't?" she smiled. He shook his head, slightly dazed. "Don't worry," she tried to assure him. "Doc will do his little tests, tell us it's stress and everything will be fine."

"Stress?" he asked skeptically.

"Uh huh," she grunted. "Come on Alec, I've got a lot of stuff on my mind, things to do and not a lot of time to get it done in."

"That's true," he finally conceded, but his face was still pensive. "But what if it's something else?"

"What else could it be?" she asked, holding her breath slightly. "I mean, if there is something else, we'll deal. But I really don't think there is." She looked at him, holding his gaze, willing herself not to break under the penetrating, loving stare. He held her eyes, deliberating, assessing and finally he leaned forward.

"Okay," he finally gave in. He nuzzled into her neck and whispered again, "okay. Thank you Maxie."

Max sighed in satisfaction as she burrowed deeper into the heated water. Alec had offered to clean up after dinner, sending her to relax. Sadly grateful for the chance to get away from him for a moment at least, Max had run a bath for herself. She'd clipped her hair up, intending just to soak for a while. After twenty minutes however, she realized that as much as she enjoyed her baths, she had a better way to relax. And just as she thought of it, a soft tapping came at the door.

"Come on in Alec," she called, stifling a giggle. Was he a mind reader? He entered the bathroom and Max's mouth went dry when she realized that he'd doffed his shoes, socks and shirt before entering. He perched himself at the edge of the tub and drifted a lazy finger through the still water.

"Got room for one more?" he asked huskily, his eyes slightly glazed. Max gulped audibly.

"I'll make room," she whispered, scooting back a little and letting her knees fall apart.

"I was hoping you'd say that," he grinned suddenly. Max watched with intensity as he stood and slipped his pants and boxers off. He stepped in carefully, between her legs, and settled down into both the warmth of the water and her embrace. Max lifted her arms, letting the water drip up over his chest. Her hands settled on his chest and she let the moisture guide her, rubbing it into his skin. He tilted his head back to nestle in the hollow of her shoulder. She drew her lips over his temple; letting short puffs of air disturb the locks of hair tickling her nose.

"Alec," she whispered into his ear.

"Shh, Maxie," he murmured, rubbing one hand along the outside of her calf. "No words." Max complied, knowing they didn't need the words at this moment. Their bodies had their own language. So Max continued running her hands over his chest, kneading his shoulders, crossing her arms and holding him to her. Alec busied himself running his hands over the available flesh of her lower body. It didn't take long for Max to rub herself tantalizingly against his back, glorying in the softness of his golden skin.

Alec pulled away; water sloshing over the edges at his movement, but it mattered to neither of them. He turned over, his eyes-half closed as he took her in. Max smiled wantonly as she lifted one leg to drape over the edge of the tub. Alec growled playfully and swept forward, catching her lips in a bruising kiss. Playtime was over. Max welcomed him in, just as eager as he was.

The next morning, Max awoke, uncharacteristically nervous. It was time to pull it all together. She glanced at the clock next to the bed. It was just past seven. That meant she had a little while until it was time to see Doc. Of course, she'd have to get there a little early to talk to Doc before Alec got there. That meant she needed to get away from her husband by at least 8:30. She quickly ran through her mind what she could do to distract him. _'There's always sex,'_ she giggled to herself. But they tended to cuddle more than they normally had after that particular act. So that was out, even though she wouldn't have minded, was in fact eager for their next go around.

_'Well, if sex is out, what's the next best thing?'_ she wondered. _'What else does Alec like?'_ She racked her brain over their past relationship. It seemed every time she'd seen him away from business related crap; it was always hanging out at Crash. Or draped in front of the boob tube. And since distracting him by scantily clad blondes who were too inebriated for their own good was so definitely out of the picture, the television it would have to be.

It was ridiculously easy in hindsight. Max simply rose from the bed and switched on the television on her way to the bathroom. When she returned, she turned up the volume on the re-running cartoons and Alec appeared in the doorway of the bedroom, sleepy-eyed, hair tousled, looking mildly amused. Max settled on the couch and Alec joined her.

"What's with the cartoons?" he asked curiously. Usually it was he that commanded the remote control. She simply shrugged and then laughed at the antics of the wily wolf. Or was it a coyote. Didn't really matter to her. Alec had shrugged it off as well. And by the time 8:30 rolled around, they were both absorbed in the programming. Or at least Max appeared to be. She'd been growing more breathless as the minutes counted down. Finally, at a commercial break, she turned to her husband and easily convinced him that doughnuts would be a most excellent breakfast. He promised that he'd be to the bakery and back in a few minutes, with time to spare to walk her to the infirmary.

The moment he slipped out the door, Max yanked her clothes on and hotfooted it to the infirmary. Doc met her there, slight surprise in his eyes. Most likely from the fact that she not only showed up, she did so at the appointed time. Not late as was her normal approach to all things establishment. He looked her over and gestured her into his office.

"So what's got you ready to pop?" he asked with a trace of humor. Max perched on the edge of her seat and took a moment.

"Well see Doc, it's like this…"


	13. The Price Of Lies

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

A/N- Just wanted to say thank you all for the very kind reviews. It helps the creative juices to know that people are enjoying this. But please remember, sometimes things must get worse, before they can get better!

Chapter Thirteen

The Price of Lies

"So you want me to pretend to give you an exam, then tell you everything is okay, and tell Alec that it's just stress?" Doc queried with a chuckle.

"Pretty much," Max confirmed with a wry grin. "Will you?"

"Well," Doc drawled, thoughtfully stroking his chin. "I do have a few more questions."

"Okay, shoot."

"What really is bothering you?" he demanded bluntly, his eyes losing all traces of his earlier merriment. Max swallowed, wondering how well she'd be able to bluff.

"There's nothing wrong with me," she reiterated softly. "Really."

"Okay, let me rephrase that," Doc sighed, leaning forward. "What does Alec think is wrong?" That stopped her short. Doc grinned evilly. "Either you tell me, or I ask Alec."

"You don't play fair," she finally whined. She heaved a sigh. "Okay, Alec thinks I'm being absent-minded, too quiet, not myself. That sort of stuff. But it could all be from stress. Right?" she got out in a rush.

"Could be," he agreed mildly.

"Look," Max leaned forward as well. "I already know what's going on with me."

"So why don't you just tell Alec?" Doc asked pointedly.

Max licked her suddenly dry lips. "Because I'm just not ready to tell him yet."

Doc watched her thoughtfully for a few minutes. Finally, he acceded. "Okay, I'll help. But on one condition. Real tests Max." He held off her protests. "Just in case it is more than stress." Max's jaw worked angrily as they both glanced at the noisy clock on the wall. "Tick tock. He'll be here soon."

"All right, fine," she growled. "Real tests.

"Okay then," he snickered. "Let's get you a gown."

Max was waiting in an examination room. While she'd lost the skirmish over the tests, at least she'd won the battle over the gown. So now, she was reclining on the bed, her sleeve rolled up; wondering just what Doc had in mind to enact his cruel and unusual punishment. While she silently berated herself, someone tapped on the door.

"You better get your ass in here and get these tests done before I kick yours all the way to the Pacific!" she yelled. The door inched open and Alec stuck his head through, his eyes comically wide.

"Are these tests multiple choice or essay style?" he joked, but Max was still fuming.

"Shut up, get your ass over here and hold my hand!" she ordered. A wide grin split his face as he hurried to her side.

"There's my girl," he chuckled as he took a seat on a nearby stool, to her right. "Just one thing. If you really don't want to be here, why'd you take off early?" Really asking, why didn't you wait for me?"

Max's fingers tightened convulsively on his. "I figured that if I was actually going to do this, I better get here before I talked myself out of it."

"Good reason," he smirked. "I can see how well its working." Max stared at him for a moment, assessing him, his face, his posture, and his always all right attitude. The way his eyes kept darting around the room told her more clearly than anything that he was nervous as hell. And trying to use the distraction of her to distract himself.

She leaned back in the bed, her foot twitching rhythmically. "I swear, if he isn't in here in sixty seconds, I'm outta here." It worked like a charm. Alec scooted closer, wrapping his free arm about her waist, and mumbled nonsensical words into her hair.

"I'm here Maxie," he crooned softly. "Just think of something else." He waited a little. "You thinking of something?" She nodded. "Tell me what it is?"

She hid a smile. "I was just wondering, if you'd told Mole about the tuxes yet?"

"Oh hell Maxie!" he bit out. "No shop talk!"

"You haven't," she taunted gleefully, "have you?"

"No!" he growled. "And I'm not going to either, until the last possible moment."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Max chuckled. "You might as well tell him now so he can bitch and moan and get it out of his system."

"Or tell him later, so he has no time to come up with excuses."

"There's that too."

Doc finally chose that moment to enter the cubicle like room. "All set I see," he smiled reassuringly at the couple as he set a tray of various paraphernalia on the counter. Max's eyes widened as she took in the unfamiliar and very painful looking tools. Of course, as a Manticore alumnus, she could handle pain. Didn't mean she had to like it of course. "Okay, let's get started," Doc chirped as Max glared at him. He just held the smile, his eyes telling her that she had brought this all on herself. He removed a needle, syringe and several vials from the tray and approached. "First up, I need a blood sample."

"How much do you need?" Max growled as she counted the vials.

"Well, I won't know that until I have it all, will I?" Doc snorted. Max sat up, trying to push Alec aside.

"Like hell!" she growled. Alec sighed, but wouldn't release his hold around her waist. His thumb moved repetitively over the tender skin of her inner elbow and Max realized that he was expecting this, and so was Doc, from the look he was giving her. And Max suddenly tapped into the true nervousness that she was feeling. She had been able to be blasé about this, but actually going through with it was another matter. And true, she had just cause to not like hospitals and tests. Before, it had meant exposure, people finding out about her virus and extreme genetic structure. But she was still feeling twinges of apprehension, even with Doc and Alec here. Two people that she trusted. She let her head slink down to Alec's chest, taking comfort. The mind forgot, but the memory was embedded in her skin and she was reacting accordingly.

"I really don't need a lot Max," Doc tried to reassure her. She inhaled deeply and nodded from her current position. She held her arm out, childishly squeezing her eyes shut.

"Come on sweetie," Alec smiled gently, "it won't be so bad. One prick and it'll all be over."

"That's what I thought about losing my virginity," Max mumbled. "Turns out it was a hell of a bigger deal than that." She grinned as both men laughed. But she began to cringe when the laughter died down and her muscles tensed up accordingly.

"Relax," Doc ordered softly. Max groaned. As if that would work. She glanced up at her husband.

"Distract me?"

"Gladly," he grinned. As Doc held the proffered arm, Alec nudged her other arm around his waist and tilted her head up. Max gladly met his lips in a slow, languorous kiss. He rubbed his lips back and forth across hers, letting the moist skin tickle over hers. Max sighed again as her lips parted and his tongue slipped into her mouth. Carefully, taking his time, he explored the depths of her, his tongue stroking hers until she began to sway more heavily into him, slightly lightheaded. Alec noticed and broke off the kiss, moving to pepper little kisses along her jaw. Max's eye fluttered shut as she continued to lose herself in him.

"Ahem!" Alec jumped back at the startling noise of Doc loudly clearing his throat. He smirked at them, holding up two full vials of blood. Max shot a look at her arm, where a bandage now resided in the crook of her arm. She blushed a little, finding it only a little hard to believe that she hadn't felt a thing. "Okay,"' Doc continued when he had both their attention. "I'll take these down to my lab and have a look see. Do you want to wait, or should I call you?"

"How long will it take?" Alec asked.

"Eh, forty-five minutes, maybe," Doc shrugged.

"That fast?" Max queried, puzzled. It seemed to her that in the past, these things took so much longer. Doc nodded.

"Well, seeing that you're my only patient scheduled today, it's not like I have a lot to distract me from this," he chuckled. He tilted his head, waiting for their answer.

"We'll go get some breakfast and come back," Alec decided. Doc nodded again and ambled off to play with his machines. Max was hurriedly rolling down her sleeve, in case he came back with more wicked ideas in mind.

"Let's go!" she barked at him, already at the door while he was just rising from his stool.

After a breakfast of warm cinnamon rolls and coffee, Max and Alec headed back to the infirmary. They didn't have long to wait before Doc called them into his office. He gestured to the seats before his desk and they sat as he moved around the office, gathering some things up. He returned to the desk and perched on it, slightly off center so that he could face both of them at once.

"So?" Alec asked, his voice breathy with hesitation. Doc glanced down at the folder in his hands, then shut it and tossed it behind him. It landed with a soft slap on the metal desk. He seemed a little uncomfortable, as he constantly shifted about.

"Max is perfectly fine," Doc shrugged. "A little low on iron, but the majority of the women in the world are. I checked thoroughly and there's no resurgence of any of the viruses and bacteria she was infected with last year."

"So what does this all mean?" Alec demanded.

"It means, that just like every other person on earth, Max's body is fluctuating naturally," Doc sighed. "She's really busy and probably letting herself get a little run down." He paused and gave a stern glare in her direction, but she stayed quiet. "I would suggest that you, young lady, get as much rest as you can. I know you don't sleep, but just rest in general. Eat as much fresh green stuff as you can and," he picked up one of the pieces of paper littering his desk and thrust it at her, "start taking this. It's a multi-vitamin supplement. They carry them at health food stores. One a day should be fine."

"And this'll help how?" Alec asked softly. Doc laughed.

"You're a lucky man Alec," he shook his head wonderingly. "Most women, when their hormone levels dip really low or skyrocket, they tend to get bitchy, aggressive and violent." He got up and moved around the desk, putting himself a safer range from the woman before he continued. "And for Max, who already is bitchy, aggressive and violent, she instead gets quiet." Alec glanced between the two of them, his amusement tugging at his lips while he tried not to laugh along with Doc and appease his rapidly aggressing wife.

"Okay," Alec chuckled. "I can live with that. Any idea why this is happening now though?"

"Stress," Doc answered succinctly.

"Okay!" Max finally felt that it was enough. Alec had his answers; Doc had come through. She ran the prescription-like note through her fingers and stood up. "I'm glad that's taken care of." She waited for Alec to rise and shake the other man's hand, a thank you gesture. Doc shook his hand and quickly grabbed up a sealed manila envelope. He handed it to Max as well.

"Just some information I downloaded for you, if you feel like reading up yourself," Doc told her, holding her eyes and conveying much more with his expressive face. Max glanced down at the envelope, then back at Doc. She held her hand out and he set it in her palm. _'Tell him,'_ he mouthed at her. _'I will, later,'_ she mouthed back. Doc nodded and she turned, package in hand to join her husband at the door.

Alec's face was impassive as he walked her back to the apartment. Max chattered on nervously about how soon someone could go and lay in a supply of the vitamins. And how maybe it would be a good idea for TC to keep some on hand, as there were probably other women and even some men who might benefit from them. Not that they were too much of a worry. Their transgenic bodies would keep them in fairly top health and rest and proper food would take care of what their genetics didn't. But it still wouldn't hurt for extreme cases, such as herself. But still, Alec said not one word.

Max entered the apartment, throwing the envelope onto the kitchen counter. She removed her jacket and carried it into the bedroom to hang up. When she returned, Alec was standing at the counter, running the envelope through his fingers, much as she had done earlier with her prescription. She stopped in mid stride; finally admitting to herself that he still wasn't completely convinced that she was okay. His whole stance screamed tension.

"Alec?" she asked softly. He dropped the package and braced his hands against the edge of the counter. He looked straight at her, his eyes hard.

"Why are you lying to me?" he demanded in a low voice. Her breath caught in her throat.

"I'm not lying, Alec," she protested faintly.

"Yes you are," he persisted, his fingers going shockingly white as his grip tightened even more. "Don't bother to deny it. I may not be an expert at reading lips, but I still got the message from Doc!" he exploded. Max let her breath loose in a rush, as her ramrod straight back slackened and she wrapped her arms around her waist. She couldn't meet his eyes. She was lying and he knew it. "You know Max, it was bad enough that you could tell Josh and not me. But I could live with that. He's one of your best friends and sometimes you need a friend to talk to and not a husband. I didn't like it, but I could live with it." Max glanced up, hope lighting her eyes. But it died as her gaze landed on his clenched fists. "But now, you've got Doc lying for you. Who else knows Max? Who else can't I trust?"

"Alec," she protested, slightly shocked that her reticence had pushed him this far. But she should have known better. Mistrust only engendered more mistrust. But still, she had to try. "It's not like that."

"Then tell me how its like!" he yelled, pushing back from the counter. Max stood there, in the center of the room, fingers twitching into her side as she remembered over and over the look on his face that night. The anger directed at her. She didn't want that. "Max?" he demanded of her, but she couldn't say a word. She couldn't make him madder than he was. She couldn't take the chance. Finally he sighed and stormed past her. The bedroom door slammed shut and Max shakily let herself loose and stumbled over to the couch. She sank into it, her head falling into her hands. She stayed like that for long minutes, until the sound of more things slamming around in the bedroom caught her attention.

Apprehensively, she rose and approached the door, scared of what she'd find. She pushed the door open and her heart nearly stopped beating. Alec was moving back and forth between the bed and the dresser. Packing. "What are you doing?" she cried out reflexively. He barely paused.

"I'm leaving."

"Why?" she cried, tears pooling in her eyes. His jaw was tense and he wouldn't look at her. He moved to the closet, going out of his way to avoid her. "Alec, don't do this."

"You won't tell me what's going on," he told her, his voice muffled. He paused, giving her yet another chance to come clean, but she was so shocked by his actions that she didn't recognize it. He sighed heavily. "You won't. So I can't stay here." He came out of the closet, his heavy coat in his hands. He kicked the door shut, the slam echoing in the silent room.

"Where are you going to go?" she asked softly, still unable to believe he was actually leaving her.

"I'll find somewhere," he shrugged. "If I have to, I'll sleep in my office." He grabbed up the duffel bag he'd filled and once again avoiding her, moved out of the bedroom. She turned on her heel and hurried after him. She grabbed his arm just as he opened the front door.

"Alec don't!" she protested again. "Stop!"

He turned back to face her, "no Max, you stop! I've put up with a lot in the past. But I won't anymore. I shouldn't have to." She could see his eyes, pleading with her to just tell him, but the words wouldn't come. With an angry snort, he shook her hand off his arm and disappeared out the door. Max stepped after him into the hallway.

"Alec, please don't go," she cried out to his back. But he kept going. "Please! I just…. I just…" he turned around the corner, never looking back. "I just… don't remember," she finally got out. But it was too late. She collapsed against the doorframe, slowly sliding to the ground as she cried once more, "I don't remember you."


	14. Laying It All Out

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Fourteen

Laying It All Out

Max sat in the doorway of her home, her head buried in her knees, arms wrapped around her legs, sobbing, for what seemed hours. Time had little meaning now that Alec had left. He'd walked out on her, unable to live with her lies. Unintentionally, she'd hurt him badly. But softly, footsteps reached her ears. Her breath caught in her chest as she lifted her face. But it wasn't Alec. She hiccuped slightly as tender arms reached out for her.

"Joshua!" she cried as she threw herself into his embrace. "He left!"

"I know," Joshua sighed as he stroked his friend's back. "Joshua saw him downstairs. Alec told Joshua what happened."

"He didn't hear me," she whimpered. "I tried to tell him. But he didn't hear me."

"Alec heard," Joshua shook his head. Max inhaled sharply and pulled back. "Alec heard, but didn't understand." His face dropped a little. "Alec thought Max making more excuses." Her face crumpled at that revelation and she began to cry again. "It'll be okay l'il fella. Try again. Tell Alec everything. Make him listen."

"But if he just thinks I'm making excuses," Max began, "then he won't-!"

"No! Max make Alec listen!" Joshua insisted. "Now!" Max's eyes widened. It had been a while for her since her friend has used that tone with her. It was always reserved for moments when the laid-back transhuman felt that a point needed to be driven home. Max swallowed heavily. "Does Max want to be alone forever?" he asked more gently. She shook her head. Joshua smiled and nudged her shoulder. "Then go bring Alec home." She nodded and he helped her stand up. He quickly wiped the last few tears from her cheek and let her hug him. She pulled the apartment door shut and hurried down the hall. She paused at the corner and turned back.

"Um, Joshua? Where is he?"

"My place."

"Okay, thanks!" And she scampered off again.

Her mind was racing as she climbed the stairs to Joshua's place. Would Alec listen this time? Would he understand why she hadn't told him? Looking back over the choices she'd made, she could follow the clear path of all the times she'd ignored the opportunity of telling him. But in her defense, she'd had quite a number of shocks to deal with right from the beginning. Alec and their marriage being top of the list. At last she reached Joshua's door. In a fit of sudden shyness, she hesitatingly knocked at the door. She waited only a moment before it was answered. Her husband's pale face stared at her passively, as if knowing she'd come running after him and was resigned to the next go around in their little drama.

"Joshua sent you," it was not a question, but a statement of fact. But she nodded anyway.

"C-can I come in?" she asked meekly. Alec stared at her a second longer, then shrugged and stepped back. She moved forward on unsteady legs but was glad when the door clicked shut behind her. She turned to see him leaning tiredly against the wall, watching her. She licked her lips, more nervous now than she had been simply contemplating telling him the truth. "Alec, I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are," he replied, his face never wavering. But the words were without rancor. She ducked her head, knowing that those words alone would never be enough. She bit her lower lip and forced herself to look up.

"What I said before is true," she whispered. "I don't remember."

"Damn it Max!" he finally exploded, throwing his hand up to stop her. "We don't need to go through this again."

"No Alec," she sighed, taking hold of his hand in her own. "Please? Can you just listen?" She waited until he nodded his assent, pleased that his hand tightened on hers instead of pulling away. "Can we sit down?" Again he nodded and she led him over to the couch. His hand was still in hers, but he was very careful to keep a small distance between them. She glanced about the room, recognizing the irony of telling her story all over again in the same place that she'd admitted it in the first place.

"We're sitting," Alec reminded her gently, bringing her attention back to him. She watched him a moment, but he simply watched her in return. She glanced away, noting that at some point, Joshua had covered the easel where their painting resided. She was glad for that, feeling that Alec should have at least one pleasant surprise in store for him. She didn't let herself dwell on the fact that it might be an unwelcome reminder of the mess their life had quickly become at some point down the road.

"Damn, this is hard," she whispered finally. "I don't really know where to start."

"Try the beginning," he offered dryly. She took a deep breath, steeling herself against the absurdity of it all.

"I didn't realize it right away," she began slowly, "but the last clear memory I have, is leaving TC, in the middle of a rainstorm, going over to Logan's. Apparently, I was hit by a car." Alec's eyes were going suitably wide as each word she spoke sank in. His fingers tightened again.

"Jesus Maxie!" he swore softly as he realized what she was referring to. "That was almost a year and a half ago." She nodded. His nostrils flared slightly as he sucked in huge gulps of air.

"The next thing I remember," she continued, her voice soft and steady, "was waking up into what I thought was a dream. One minute, I was riding my bike, the next, I was having sex with someone I thought was just my friend."

"Son of a bitch," he murmured half-heartedly, breaking eye contact with her. His glance strayed to their hands. He gently extracted his fingers from hers and rubbed his fingertips against the seam of his pants nervously. "No wonder you were so damn jumpy." He looked quickly to her, then back down at the floor. "It was the morning we went to pick up Joshua, wasn't it?" She waited until he glanced up again and nodded, even though neither really needed to confirm the exact moment. Max knew enough of him by now; even going on prior experience that he noticed little things, nuances and such. But she'd been throwing off major vibes since she'd woken up that morning. "So what then?"

"Well," she sighed and rearranged herself slightly on the couch to better face him, pulling her legs up and leaning against the back of the couch. "After I ducked into the bathroom, I noticed that a lot more was different."

"Like what?" he asked gently, seeming to rearrange things as he knew them. Going over what had changed, even though they'd been so gradual to him that would seem instant to her.

"I noticed my rings, right away," she smiled at him, amused at the wild ranting that had spiraled through her mind in those first instances of clarity. "So I knew that I was married. And that I was definitely sharing the apartment, with all the other stuff in the bathroom."

"That you were married?" he repeated slowly. She cocked her head to the side, wondering what warning bells she seemed to have set off. "Not that we were married?" Suddenly, she was catapulted back to before the siege. The hurt on his face, the disbelief when she'd finally clued him in to the fact that he was the unwitting co-conspirator in her latest plot to push Logan away. That whole ploy, that they'd played out had been blown away with a few choice comments and some gloved handholding. At least Alec hadn't complained much when Max had done another one eighty and turned back to her former would-be lover. But Max remembered how difficult a time he'd had with people believing that he was so low that he'd steal another man's girl and she didn't want him for one second to think that she believed it still. Even though, admittedly, she had wondered. But as usual, all her thoughts had been centered on her own self. Had she been cheating? Never imagining the implications that it might have on the one she'd been supposedly cheating with.

"I figured out pretty quickly whom I was married to," she told him.

"How?"

She grinned devilishly as she leaned in close to inhale his scent. "There's no one else I know who goes to all the trouble and expense to lay in a supply of Irish Spring," she commented, surprised a little by the faint flush that tinged his cheeks. He smiled shakily and ducked his head.

"But why didn't you say anything then?" he demanded suddenly.

"Well, it was a pretty big shock," she sighed. "And then you mentioned Joshua. I thought at first that he was… that he was dead." His eyes widened as she shuddered just at the thought and his arm came up instinctively, but he lowered it just as quickly.

"I'm sorry," he said simply. She nodded.

"So there was another shock," she shrugged. "And then I saw him and he knew right away something was wrong. And everyone was making such a big deal out of me being sick, and I… I just…"

"You didn't want pity, or us freaking out," he finished for her. She nodded once. "We went back to his place and I ended up telling him. He didn't understand at first. And then Gem and Angie came by. I think that was actually a really bad one."

"What do you mean?" trying to figure how seeing Gem and Angie would upset her. He remembered Gem describing Max's panic, but neither at the time could attribute it to anything specific.

"Alec, I thought I'd lost a few months, maybe six at the most," she admitted. "Joshua was filling me in, but seeing Angie. She was so big. It just hit me all at once how much of a time gap it really was."

"Okay," he murmured. Max realized he'd accepted it rather easily and wondered what experience he might have that he could approximate along with it. A brief flash of an extended stay in psy-ops popped into her head and she shuddered again. "But you still didn't say anything."

"Joshua told me why you seemed so worried about me," she continued. "About White and me being sick. And not knowing why I couldn't remember, I think I just wanted to figure it out myself. So that no one else would have to worry over me." His raised eyebrow told her how absurd he considered that notion. She could see it now, but at the time, she'd had very little to go on.

"I was worried anyway," he whispered huskily, slightly chastising. Max glanced away, biting her lip. "Did you ever consider telling me?"

"I thought about it," she admitted. "But then, that night, well, I had proof in my hands that we'd developed, well, a history. I thought I'd made my choice and what else was there but to accept it."

"The wedding album?"

"Yeah. But later, you were…" she faltered, but she didn't need to go on. The moment was emblazoned in his mind as well.

"I scared you, didn't I?" he demanded, his voice hard. It startled her a little, until she realized that his anger was directed more at himself than anything. She edged closer, unconsciously demanding his attention; gratified that his tension seemed to lessen the closer she got to him. She reached one hand up to cup his cheek and pull his face towards her.

"You startled me," she stressed. "I was mad at myself. I was kind of remembering things. And one of those things was that you don't like being tickled there. Though I have no idea why. But I just felt so stupid for remembering that, but doing it anyway." Alec leaned into her hand, softly caressing his cheek as she tried to explain herself.

"White," he whispered, his eyes hardening. "Bastard did some damage and that hip has been sensitive ever since." But the hardness was gone the moment he saw the unshed tears in her eyes, crying over a memory she didn't have. "Max," he groaned softly, gathering her closer, until she was nearly in his lap. He pressed a kiss to the corner of one eye, carefully stroking her back, trying as he always did to calm her. She blinked several times but was unable to hold them back, finally letting loose the secrets she'd held back. The relief nearly overwhelming her that he wasn't reacting as badly as she had imagined he would.

Alec followed the course of her tears down her cheek, kissing away the salty moisture. The heat of his lips on her skin overtook any moment of confession she might wish to have. Her lips parted as his neared hers and she turned into his kiss. She curled into him, grateful for his unyielding strength. But just as she began to arch into him, she found herself lifted away and set back on the couch. She opened her eyes to see her husband standing several feet away, running a hand through his hair as he steadied himself.

"I'm sorry," he apologized swiftly. "I shouldn't have done that," he offered, not quite looking at her.

"Why not?" she demanded, confused.

"You don't remember us," he reminded her in a not so gentle tone. "I have to remember that. I, God, I shouldn't be taking advantage of you like that."

Max slowly stood and moved to stand before him. She didn't make a move to get too close, seeing that he'd bolt on her. "It's okay Alec," she smiled up at him. "I may not remember all the big things. But I understand that you do. And that it's natural for you to react this way. Believe me, if I didn't like it at least a little, I could certainly find ways to tell you so." Alec stared at her for a moment before he chuckled.

"Yeah I guess that's true," he laughingly agreed. But still, he moved away from her, pacing around the living room. Max watched him, seeing the caginess, the feeling that he, now along with her was trapped in this weird static of neither here nor there and until they got it all out in the open, they couldn't move forward, as they were meant to. "So you remembered some stuff?" he prompted. She took a seat and continued.

"Yeah, it was mostly little stuff. Like how the kids got into a cake fight at the wedding. Some names, brief flashes of stuff." He nodded, still pacing.

"And those nights that you were at HQ?" he brushed past the memories, wanting to know it all, but never giving her the chance to admit her biggest discovery of all. She mentally sighed and decided that once it was all there, then she could go about telling him that she loved him. That she didn't need the past to know that.

"I was trying to research," she informed him. "Trying to put all the pieces together. Put names and faces together. I mean, Joshua could only tell me so much. And people were expecting me to be in headquarters, at least some of the time. So I couldn't constantly be at Joshua's pumping him for information."

"But you weren't doing that work," he smirked briefly, stopping in his confined roaming. She rolled her eyes.

"Sorry," she responded dryly. "I went from being leader of Terminal City to being the public liaison. I think I was stuck in the mental mindset that you never let them know when you're weak. I figured I was strong enough to take care of this myself."

He actually laughed. "I thought you'd gotten over that." But then seemed to remember the independence she'd always prized. "I guess not."

"Nuh uh," she shrugged. There was no point denying it. Her husband knew her very well, better than she knew herself at this point.

"Okay," Alec continued constructing events, as he knew them. "So then you overheard me and Josh talking and you went to Doc?"

"Yeah," she picked up the thread. "I thought that I could put your mind at ease."

"It probably would have worked too, for a while," he admitted with a deprecating grin. "Gee, if only I hadn't caught on."

"Yep, you screwed me then," she giggled. Alec waggled his eyebrows at her. But the merriment was lost as they both considered just what had brought them here to this moment.

"So what now?" he asked through a lump in his throat.

"Now we go home, where we belong," Max decided. "And together we figure out how to jog my memory."

"I don't know Max," he hedged. "Would you be comfortable having me around constantly? I mean, there'll probably be times I mess up and forget that you don't remember and I just-!" She jumped up and silenced him with an abrupt kiss. He stared down at her, slightly shocked.

"Yes Alec," she murmured. "I want you home with me. I'll never remember what it's supposed to be like, if it's not like it's supposed to be."

"Okay," he drawled, smiling at her circular logic. Sliding his hand down her arm and lightly grasping her hand, he pulled her to the door, stopping momentarily to grab his duffel bag from where he'd dropped it. "Maybe tomorrow we can sit down with Doc and figure out how or why this happened." He noticed her tense up immediately. "Max?" She bit her lip and his eyes narrowed. "Max, you told Doc about the memory loss, right?"

"Well, not exactly…"


	15. Delving Deeper

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Fifteen

Delving Deeper

"Okay," he dropped the duffel bag again. "What the hell does not exactly mean?" He stared down at her as she fidgeted under his gaze. "Max?"

"Well Alec," she cringed at her own whining tone, "like I said, I was trying to figure this out myself."

"So you didn't tell him?" he demanded tiredly. She shook her head. "Then what precisely did you tell him? Why did you even go to him?"

"I told you already," Max sighed. "I didn't want you to worry about me."

"And how does Doc figure into it?" his jaw tensed up again. "What did you tell him to get him on your side?"

"The truth… mostly," she hedged. She could see exactly where this was leading. Alec wasn't one to leave things alone for the most part. He'd want this solved, now, so they could get on to other things. His head tilted to the side and he aimed that endearing little gaze at her. The one that spoke of how she could trust him with all her deepest, darkest secrets. And so far, it hadn't hurt, much. "Okay, I called Doc after I heard you and Joshua talking. I asked him for an appointment."

"That was it?" he asked skeptically. She grimaced.

"Then, yeah," she confirmed. "The next morning, I went in early and told him that you were worried about me," she continued. "So I asked him if he would do a general exam, say it was stress and send us on our way."

"And that's all?" he puzzled. "So why did he tell you to tell me? I mean he had to have some idea."

Max nodded. "I didn't tell him about my memory loss, but he knew something was up. I just told him that I already knew what was wrong with me. So he said okay."

"Okay. So what was up with those tests?" Alec asked, smirking slightly. He was getting to the heart of it, no matter which way she turned. Max nibbled at her lower lip, realizing that it wasn't fair to just keep this from him. Belatedly she realized that he might still be worried, knowing now that Doc didn't have all the information at hand to work with. After all, the memories had barely surfaced. And there was Doc performing blood tests on her, which Alec would most definitely worry over.

"That was blackmail," she chuckled. Alec grinned, enjoying her pleasure when usually in these circumstances he'd be dealing with her rage. "I told him that you were worried because I just seemed off. So he agreed to help me out on the condition that I submit to a real blood test." She hurried on before he could ask why. "Doc just wanted to make sure that it wasn't something else causing me problems." Alec's mouth opened again to interrupt but she lifted one finger to press against his lips. "And Doc said there was nothing wrong with me. No viruses, no bacteria, nothing there but me."

"All right," Alec finally acceded. He reached once more for his duffel bag and drew her out of the apartment. "But in the morning, you're going back to Doc."

"No I'm not," Max shook her head as they made their way downstairs. "Why would I?"

"Because we need to let Doc know," Alec explained patiently, though his tone was a little harried. "Then he can maybe figure out what caused it." Max groaned inwardly, her feet unconsciously starting to drag.

"Great," she muttered. "More questions to answer." Alec stopped short and turned back to his wife, standing on the step above him. His face was earnest, his concern for her evident.

"Max, can you really say you don't wonder why all of a sudden you can't remember?" he asked carefully. Her mouth opened to answer, but snapped shut as she remembered those first few hours, the things that had run through her mind. Alec had even teasingly checked her head for bumps or bruises, not that they'd found any. He watched her expectantly and when she finally nodded her agreement to another appointment, he smiled brilliantly at her. "Thank you."

They emerged from Joshua's apartment building and both were mildly stunned to see an assorted group of transgenics and transhuman scurrying to look busy. It fooled no one that they'd apparently been concerned with whatever had occurred between their leaders. Alec hid a smile as he pulled Max in a little closer to his side. Max didn't bother to hide her grin, as she caught a few questioning glances thrown her way. The relief that came back from them comforted her. It was nice to know that people were concerned about them. It made such a difference to her, the one who'd always felt responsible for taking care of others. She leaned into her husband, grateful most of all for his strength, the support he was showing her, had always shown her. She wrapped her close arm around his waist, as his settled about her shoulders. Max gave the group a little wave and the pair headed home.

Joshua was waiting still, in their apartment when they got back. He was engrossed in one of the books that had been in the bookcase. He glanced up as he heard the door open and smiled gently at seeing his two friends together. He closed the book and laid it on the table, standing to greet them. Max knew the instant he realized for sure that she'd told Alec, the relief was written in his face.

"Max and Alec good now?" he asked in his soft voice. They were both nodding.

"Yeah," Alec confirmed. "We're good. Thanks man."

"You're welcome," Joshua grinned broadly. He turned to Max and whispered, "almost had to sit on Alec." He laughed at her puzzled look, while Alec turned away to hide his embarrassment.

"What does that mean?" she demanded of them. Alec ran his hand through his hair, scratching nervously at the back of his neck.

"Uh, Josh told me that he'd sit on me if I left," he admitted. Max felt a smile playing at her mouth as she imagined it. "Made me promise to wait at his place while he talked to you."

"Ah," Max drawled, as she understood.

"See?" Joshua guffawed. "Told Alec it would work."

Max felt a momentary irk at being set up like she had. But quickly told herself that it was worth it. Again was that concern that surrounded her. It was comforting even as it could be stifling. It was all a matter of choosing which feeling to go with and right now, she wanted that comfort. She'd deal with the stifling if and when it came up. She poked her husband in the stomach before moving into the kitchen. "It only worked because I decided it would work," she warned them playfully. "You're talking to the master manipulator here."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Alec teased right back, turning his lips into a pout. "I seem to remember a certain night that I manipulated you right into-!" he stopped short, seeming to realize that it was another memory that she might not have access to. "Ah, never mind!" Her eyes widened a little.

"What?" she demanded, her hands going to her hips. "What did you make me do?"

"Nothing!" his protest was cut off by Joshua's laughter as he waved at the pair of them, slipping out the door. It banged shut, but Max didn't give it a glance.

"Alec!" she growled his name, determined to know.

He held his hands up, shrugging, "it was nothing bad Max," he tried to fob her off, but she was coming around the counter, advancing on him as he stumbled back a step.

"Really? Then why won't you tell me?" she asked pointedly. He bit his lower lip, his eyes sparkling.

"Ah… maybe because I'm hoping you'll remember on your own and do it again," he offered, his smirk firmly back in place. She stopped and her eyebrows flew up. But then her whole demeanor changed as she moved forward again.

"Was it something… dirty?" she whispered seductively, her hips swaying as she chased her prey, inch by inch. Alec noticed a second after she began to speak, what was on her mind and began backing away.

"Yeah… well no," he prevaricated, all the while trying to keep her in his line of sight while not tripping over the furniture. She advanced on him.

"Could it maybe have been termed… kinky?" she whispered, finally trapping him against the wall. She hovered as closely as she dared while she watched him squirm. She kept her expression placid, watching the memories play over his face, slightly jealous when they proved to be of the erotic nature. That is, if she was judging the tension in his body correctly. Sweeping her glance down over her body, she knew she was right.

"Max," Alec warned softly. She knew that he was fighting whatever noble issue he was trying to hang on to. Some idea that he didn't want to force his attention on her when she was unable to reciprocate it in the way it was offered. She knew and understood it, but couldn't resist finishing her little game. She leaned in closely, careful not to touch him.

"Did you like it?" she demanded silkily. He gulped once and nodded. "Tell me what you liked best?" His mouth opened, she almost had him, but at last, he realized what she had been doing and laughed instead.

"You little minx!" he gasped, his head thumping lightly against the wall. She backed off, grinning widely. "You almost did it."

"Well, I warned you," she giggled.

"Yeah, but almost doesn't count," he retorted.

"Mm-hmm," she smiled benignly, assured of her own feminine power. "Don't worry, I'll get it out of you yet." She turned and walked back to the kitchen, suddenly thirsty. She barely heard his whisper.

"Hell, that's what I'm afraid of."

She ignored the worry she heard in his voice. Knowing that they'd get to the issue of intimacy soon enough, she moved to the refrigerator. She pulled it open and stared at the contents. But nothing there appealed to her. She pulled open the freezer and saw some juice concentrate there. She pulled it out, and began to prepare it. While she did that, Alec collected his bag and moved to the bedroom to return things to where they really belonged. She pulled two glasses from cupboard, knowing Alec could probably use a little refreshment as well. Once she'd poured, she set his glass on the counter and caught sight of the envelope that Doc had given her. She took a long drink, then set the glass down, curious as to the envelope's contents.

She ripped open the sealed manila and pulled out a sheaf of papers. She glanced through the top sheet, noting that it was the results of her lab work up. As Doc had told them, there was no virus present in her system. She shrugged mentally and set it aside. The next paper looked as if Doc had done exactly as he'd said. Gone to some medical site online and printed off what he'd found. She glanced up and noticed her husband returning.

"What'cha looking at?" he asked, his voice relaxed now. He picked up the juice she'd left for him and took a sip.

"Just that envelope that Doc gave me," she shrugged. Alec took another sip and set the glass down, close to her own. He pulled the paper she'd just set down to him and musingly glanced over it. Max watched him, her mind going over it again. No viruses, no bacteria, no illness. Nothing for him to worry about. She saw his quick nod, confirming to himself too. But then it was as if a bright light exploded in her mind. "Oh my God!"

Alec's eyes shot up to meet hers, taking in the shock she was sure was evident. "What is it?" he demanded, suddenly on edge.

"The virus," she gasped. He cocked his head to the side, waiting. "It's gone." After a moment, he nodded, puzzled. She realized then that he thought she was referring to the one she'd been most recently infected with. "No, not that one," she muttered, pushing that paper to the side. "The Manticore virus," she clarified. His eyes darkened momentarily, but Max went on. "Doc said there was no virus at all present in my system."

"That's right," he confirmed carefully, quietly. Max understood in an instant. All Alec knew now was that she was stuck in the mind frame of a year and a half ago, when she was still apparently hung up on Logan. She smiled inwardly, thinking of how that was the total opposite of what she felt now.

"So I'm no longer poison to the guy," she scoffed. "Good to know." She deliberately kept her tone blasé, her body casual. She flipped her hair back over her shoulder and glanced down at the papers again, taking in the information Doc had downloaded and printed for her. "Ooh, 'Tips for Reducing Stress'."

"Max," Alec interrupted softly. "We should talk about this." She nodded even as she ignored the pleading in his tone. "Jeez Maxie, for someone who was desperate to get her memories back just a few minutes ago, you sure are uninterested in this," he ranted, obviously annoyed. But this time Max could tell that he was more annoyed by whatever inadequacies he might be feeling about himself or their relationship. She set the paper down.

"Okay," she shrugged one shoulder. "Did I get the cure before or after we started going out?"

"After."

"Did I go back to Logan then?"

"No, but-!"

"Do you think I'll go back to Logan now?" she asked the million-dollar question, holding her breath as she watched him deliberate over that. But before he could answer, she decided to do so for him. "Because I know the difference between," she held up her hands and made little air quotes "'we're not even like that', and this," she pointed at the rings on her finger.

"I know you do Max," Alec offered softly, reaching for her hand. She clasped her hand around his and squeezed. "But I…"

"Don't Alec," she sighed. "I told you before, I may not have the memories. But I know our relationship involves a lot more than evenings spent sipping wine and talking business, some handholding and a couple kisses. I'm not gonna throw away what we have to go back to the uncertainty of where I stood with him. Wondering if I was just a cause to him. Wondering if it came down to it, which would be more important, me or Eyes Only. Wondering if all the things thrown in our way was fate's way of telling us to give it up. We don't have that Alec. There's nothing standing in our way."

"Except your own mind," he pointed out quietly.

"Which we're going to fix," she stated firmly. "Okay?" She waited again as he worked it through. But finally he nodded.

"Okay."

Max beamed at him for a moment, then dropped her gaze back to the papers. Suddenly, she got to a hand made notation from Doc and burst out laughing. Alec furrowed his brow, trying to get a good look at what had set her off. "Oh!" she gasped, her ribs starting to hurt from laughing so hard. "I could definitely go for this one."

"What is it?" Alec demanded and she handed the paper over. He read the note quickly. Next to the section about getting plenty of sleep, Doc had written; _'I know with your wacky DNA that this one might be tough. But as long as you're lying down, resting, or doing whatever I'm sure you feel the urge to do, and I don't need details, then that's fine with me.'_ Alec laughed as well.

"Hmm, maybe I should take Doc's advice right now," Max purred, moving around the counter. Alec's laughter stopped as he eyed her.

"Max," he sighed. She stopped short, knowing already what he was going to say.

"I know, I know," she grumbled. "You want to wait until I'm sure that I'm doing this because I want to, not just because I think I have to."

"Exactly," he grunted.

"Spoilsport," she mumbled.

"I heard that."

"Oh all right," she gave in. She turned and shoved all the papers back in the envelope, deciding to finish going through them later. She turned back to her husband. She could see how difficult this self-imposed restraint was on him and in a quick moment, felt for him. He'd always been a sensual creature. She smiled up at him as she thought about what torture he was putting himself through just to put what he believed to be her needs ahead of his. And loved him for it. But she'd also be damned if she put up with it for long. "Why don't we watch some TV and you can fill me in on all the other stuff I've missed?" she suggested. With relief, he nodded and she led him to the couch. "Cause the sooner I remember, the sooner we can get to the good stuff!"

"Max!" his laughter told her that he was just as eager as she was.


	16. Wasting Time Asking Why

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Sixteen

Wasting Time Asking Why

"So where do we start?" Alec asked as he reclined against the back of the couch. Max carefully snuggled into his side, careful to keep things un-intimate. Alec was accepting of that.

"Mmm, the beginning?" she teased with a little giggle. Alec smiled down at her, then tilted his head back.

"That's a lot of ground to cover," he sighed.

"Well, Joshua told me the basics," Max told him again. "You can just give me the filler."

"Like what though?" Alec asked. "It's not like I know what Josh told you. Is there anything specific that you wanted to know about?"

Max straightened a little as something crossed her mind. "Yeah, there is something."

"Shoot."

"Okay," she grinned. "What the hell is up with Normal? I mean, his attitude reversal was great and all that. But why did I find a note telling myself to check with him over Christmas stuff? What Christmas stuff? And why Normal? I mean, he doesn't even like me that much. But when I called him, he was acting like we were best friends. What the hell is up with that? I mean, I know he likes you-!"

"Max!" Alec interrupted, laughing. She glanced up at him, realizing how easily she'd distracted herself. She widened her eyes, and shook her head expectantly. "That's an easy one. I asked you to call Normal about the party," he paused, "you did figure out about the party we're having, right?" She nodded. "Okay, anyway, you were supposed to ask Normal if he would donate Jam Pony services as one of the door prizes. But you, being you, fobbed it off on Original Cindy."

"Ah," that little mystery was finally solved. Strangely, Max felt a little disappointed that it was something so straightforward. To simply ask her former employer for a favor. It was something mundane, something she had done before. Up to now, she had been focusing on recapturing things that were foreign to her. Almost like a roller coaster ride. Scary, exciting, stomach clenching, never knowing what twist was around the corner. But it hit her so suddenly that she wasn't just lacking the big things; all the little things that had made up her life were gone too. She unconsciously drew away from her husband as she found herself dwelling on this.

"Maxie," Alec's soft tone pulled her out of deep thought and she glanced up at him. "What is it?"

"I don't know Alec," she murmured, returning to press her head against his chest. His arm came up to caress her back. "It just… it hit me all of a sudden… everything that's been missing."

"You remembered?" he asked, his voice verging on excited. But with a quick shake of her head, he sat back, deflated.

"No," she whispered, apologetically. "I mean, up until now, I've been thinking about all the big changes. How TC has changed. What we've accomplished. The fact that we're married." She sat silent for a moment, while she ordered her thoughts. "It's like someone who's been completely blinded. I mean, maybe they saw a sunrise, a hundred of them, or maybe a thousand. But as soon as they lost the ability to do it, to see all that, they can't remember ever seeing one. You know?"

"I guess," he replied softly, guarded.

"And for me, I've lost all those little things," she went on. "I mean, I know the mechanics of my life. I get up, have a shower, and get something to eat, go to work. And with these damnable memories that Manticore gave us, if I really tried, I could remember doing these things every time I did them. But they're so mundane, they just kind of blend, one day into the next." He nodded, starting to understand. "When I first got out," she recalled when she'd first escaped from Manticore, "it took me a while to put it all together. To put the memories in the proper order. But I knew then that I'd remember. I don't even have that now. I hate feeling like this," she scrubbed the back of her hand across her cheek, trying to stem the tears that were gathering in her eyes. "Alec, I want the little things back!"

"You'll get them," he promised, trying to soothe her.

"You don't know that!" she burst out, her ever hopefulness deserting her suddenly. "I mean, God! This whole past week, I couldn't get them back. If I'd had those little things, you'd have never noticed a damn thing!"

"Uh, I'd like to think that I would have," Alec grunted, trying to diffuse her anger with humor, just like before. But it just made her feel worse. She didn't really know how they handled each other anymore.

"See what I mean!" she continued on angrily. "I feel like a damn stranger in my own skin. I don't like feeling like this!"

"Oh sweetie," Alec sighed, his lips resting on her temple. "I want to say that everything will be okay, but I won't lie. I know you can handle this. I'm scared it won't ever be the same as before and I know you're scared of that too. But I promise we'll do everything possible to make it that way. You'll get your memories back and all the little things will be yours again. And if it doesn't happen, we'll figure out new little things and make them ours." Max was slightly mollified; appreciating that Alec wasn't sugarcoating the situation. She laughed ruefully.

"Who ever thought I'd lose it over something as stupid as eating a bowl of cereal?" she chuckled at herself, sniffling back the effects of her flash storm of emotion.

"I can see why it's so hard," Alec shrugged. His hand rubbing thoughtfully at her lower back. Max kept herself still; for fear that he'd remove it if she drew attention to how much she was enjoying it. "I mean, like you said, you've been concentrating on all the big things. But it's all the little stuff in between that big stuff that makes up life. That's the biggest chunk of your missing memories." She nodded. He did understand, to a degree.

"Is that why you won't tell me about us?" she asked softly. "Because of all those little things together?"

"Partly," he answered slowly. "Yeah, there are a lot of things about us… Look at it this way Max, what if I were to tell you that you licked me all over in the middle of TC?"

"What?" she screeched, sitting straight up. "I never did that!" She paused to take in the earnest face staring back at her. "Did I?" He nodded, fighting a grin as he obviously recalled the moment.

"Well, you didn't quite go that far," he smirked, then grew serious. "But see Maxie, at the time, it was something you did, that seemed perfectly natural in the moment. You just don't feel that right now because it seems out of character for you. For how you regard yourself. I don't want to tell you things you said and things you did, if your first instinct is to fight it."

"Okay," she nodded. "I won't fight it. I'll just listen," she tried to promise, but he was shaking his head.

"But that's the thing," he sighed. "Memory isn't composed of just things that occurred. There's the thought process and emotions that go with it, all combined to make up your memory associated with a particular moment. I can't give that to you. It has to come all from you."

She couldn't refute the logic in that. She swallowed heavily. "Okay, I get that. Why else though?"

Alec groaned softly and ran a hand through his hair. "There's a lot of reasons Max. The biggest one being that I don't ever want you to feel that I pushed you into this. I don't want you to resent me down the road. I can live with a lot of things, but not your regret." Max watched him as he nervously toyed with a lock of her hair. Smiling a little, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. His hand stilled, unable to keep from responding to her. Max liked that his body responded to hers even when his mind was, well of two minds. She pulled back, seeing his eyes shining and full of emotion. She pulled his hand down to wrap around her waist and settled herself against his chest again.  


Max woke, feeling chilly. She glanced around, surprised that she'd fallen asleep on the couch, wondering where Alec was. But he hadn't gone far. She finally focused her gritty feeling eyes enough to see him in the kitchen, on the phone. She kept her breathing even and concentrated on his conversation.

"Thanks Tina," he spoke softly into the receiver. He waited, pulling the phone down from his mouth a little. Whoever he was waiting for must have come on the line by the way he sat up straighter. "Yeah, sorry to bug you again." He listened. "Yeah, she's okay. She told me, finally," he grunted. "But she didn't tell you everything." Alec's gaze rose to look at the ceiling as he sighed heavily. Max realized quickly enough that he must have been talking to Doc. "What I mean is that Max didn't tell you that she's lost her memories of this past year and a half." He held the phone away from his ear, and even without her enhanced hearing, Max caught the strangled exclamation of surprise. Alec smiled tightly, waiting for Doc to settle down. "No, we don't know what caused it. That's why I was calling you." Another pause. "Well I don't know! Can't you do a CAT scan or something?" He rolled his eyes. "Well, where can we get the equipment?" There was a longer wait. "Okay. Why don't you go ahead and do that and then get back to me?" He listened another moment. "All right. Thanks Doc. I'll talk to you later."

Max pursed her lips, wondering what they had decided for her, again tamping down the irksome feeling. "So what did Doc have to say?" she asked, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. Alec glanced up in shock, in the process of replacing the telephone on the counter.

"Max!" he gasped. "You're asleep."

"No I'm not."

"Well, you were," he argued defensively. He hopped off the stool and moved to kneel beside the couch. "You should get some more rest."

"Uh uh," she huffed. "I want to know what Doc said." Alec glanced away then prepared himself for whatever anger he seemed to know would be coming his way.

"All right," he muttered. "Doc was surprised and concerned. I asked if he could do a CAT scan and we don't have the equipment. So he's going to call Dr. Carr and arrange an appointment with him. Is that all right with you?"

"Not really," she grumped. "But I'll forgive you… if you lay down with me."

"Max," he sighed, prepared to argue.

"Just to rest," she promised, then smiled broadly. "Besides, I've kind of gotten used to you holding me when I sleep."

"That's good to know," he smiled back and maneuvered behind her as she stretched out again. She pulled his arm over her waist, her fingers clasped loosely in his. She lifted her head so he could slip his arm under her neck. Max snuggled in as closely as possible and let her eyes drift shut.  


Max wore a pleased grin as she entered HQ the next day. After their impromptu catnap, they'd woken to make a meal for themselves, having missed lunch. Alec had then gone on to fill her in on all the duties she'd taken on for their little city. That way, she could take back her workload and ease up her dependency on others to do her job for her. Once he'd explained it to her, it didn't seem that hard. It was a natural extension of what she'd been doing before. Keeping an eye on her people. There were subcommittees set up to deal with the practical side of the city. The utilities, garbage detail, security, food and housing. Those committees reported back to the committee that she and Alec had, so that everything could be organized and run smoothly. They also dealt with the business side of the city, which Max had already realized, going through the proposed contracts as she had.

Alec had offered to move into her office for a while, just to help her out. Instead of laughing as he might have expected, she took the offer seriously. In the end, she decided that he could stay put, pointing out that they were probably back and forth into each other's offices throughout the day anyway. He'd grinned, as if she'd remembered. But that just made sense to her. The two leaders of TC needed to talk. And then she wondered aloud if they'd tried the shared office idea before. And Alec told her that they had. But they hadn't got much done. Not for the city, that was.

She waved at a few people, working busily. Jiminy was there, as usual, a hands free head set phone attached so that he could monitor the calls coming in while he worked at other things. Max grinned and held her hand out as he came closer. There was a light of mild surprise in his eyes, but returned her smile and handed her a few pieces of paper, notes and messages directed to her. She knew what he must have been thinking, what all of them had been thinking. After yesterday's little display from the group outside Joshua's building, she realized that she and Alec were as close to celebrities in their little town as they could get. Naturally people were interested in the goings-on of their lives. It was annoying, that not everything was private, anonymous as she'd once been. But if it were a side effect of gaining their freedom, she'd live with it. For now anyway.

She'd analyzed what she could from the trannies point of view. They knew that something was up with her. They knew that Alec had left her. They just couldn't know why. So she figured that most of them would have decided that they'd had some sort of fight. Alec coming home with her would tell them that they'd worked out whatever problems they'd had. And that was it. Just speculation. And with Alec, Joshua and now Doc in on her secret, hopefully things would run smoother for her when she was out and about. Alec had agreed with her that everybody else did not need to know that their leader didn't remember them. It wouldn't quite destroy public morale but it would be a blow.

Max leafed through the messages as she opened the door to her office. There was a message from the hotel catering staff that she needed to call them about finalizing the menu. A message from Normal that there was another package headed their way. And a note from Dix, telling her that he'd finally cracked the code and an invitation to come see the final product when she got the chance. She pushed the door shut and gasped when her eyes lighted in the desk.

She hurried forward, dropping the now unimportant papers to the side of the impressive mass of flowers gracing her desktop. The phone rang once and Max groaned. She leaned over to inhale the sweetly ticklish scent of the burgundy red roses. She sighed as the phone rang again and she snatched up the receiver.

"Yeah?" she muttered as she fingered the velvety smooth petals.

"Max? It's Doc," the man didn't sound offended by her abruptness.

"Oh hey," she smiled as she quickly counted the bouquet. A dozen long-stemmed roses. "What's up?" She found the card, nestled in the center of the flowers and carefully pulled it loose.

"Did Alec tell you that he called me?" Doc asked easily. Given enough time to assimilate the latest fiasco of his patient's life, he was able to approach this in his usual laid-back manner.

"Yeah, I was there," Max nodded even though he couldn't see her. Her finger slid under the sealed flap of the envelope and ripped open the paper. She pulled out the folded over cardstock.

"So why didn't you tell me?" Doc asked, mildly accusing.

"Wasn't ready to share," she shrugged, again despite being the only person in the room.

"Uh huh," he scoffed. "Did you read through that packet of information I gave you?" Max wondered if it was just her imagination, or if his voice really had been as intense as she felt it was.

"Yeah, last night," she confirmed, and then laughed softly as she recalled his sleeping instructions. "It was all stuff I already knew, but thanks anyway."

"Oh," Doc sounded surprised. "Well good." He paused and Max glanced down, flipping open the card. She immediately recognized the bold script of her husband. "Anyway, the reason I called is because I wasn't able to get Sam on the line."

"Oh?" she asked disinterestedly as she read the brief note from her sweetheart.

"Yep, his receptionist informed me that Dr. Carr and family are away on Christmas vacation," Doc continued. "He'll be back on the second of January. So I went ahead and scheduled a visit for you. I mean, if you get your memories back before that, great. But I think we still need to discover the reason it happened in the first place. Okay?"

"That's great Doc, thanks," Max mumbled her attention focused on the words before her.

"Okay then," Doc grunted, as if sensing he'd lost his audience. "So Max, let me know if you have anymore headaches, well any aches at all. My door is always open. Anything out of the ordinary, give me a call."

"Okay, I'll do that," Max promised, even though she was barely paying him attention. "Bye." She didn't hear his reply as she set the phone down in the cradle.

"So what do you say?" a deep voice asked from her doorway. Max's head came up, a brilliant smile on her face. She stepped away from her desk moving to greet her husband, even though she'd just seen him less than half an hour before. She accepted his hug and leaned back a little to look up in his face.

"I think you're right," she murmured. "No more wasting time on talk. It's time to do something about this." She smiled, sensing the slight nervousness in his body. "I'd love to go on a date with you."


	17. The Simple Pleasures

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Seventeen

The Simple Pleasures

"Oh argh!" Max growled as she threw another pair of pants on the bed. She'd nearly ransacked her closet, pulling out the clothes she'd managed to collect since moving to Terminal City. But still, she'd yet to find something that screamed date-worthy. She flipped through the remaining clothes, pitifully few though they were. She glanced over at the clock on the nightstand, biting her lip in annoyance. It was almost six. Alec had said that their reservations were for seven. She was all showered and pretty ready, but for the clothes. And of course, she couldn't put on any make-up until she had picked the clothes. And her hair would need another brushing.

Her hand reached for a green blouse, one that she didn't remember getting, but knowing that she had definitely picked it. The style was just, so her. But no, Alec, man that he was, had just grabbed something fairly comfortable and thrown it on. It being black slacks and a dark blue button up shirt. So she couldn't wear green. This shade would clash. _'God, when did I become so girly?'_ she angrily asked herself. She was almost longing for the day when she would just pull on the first clean thing she came upon and be on her merry way. _'You became all girly when Alec finally showed you what it felt like to be a woman instead of just another broken toy,' _her mind answered. She smiled then, but soon her dilemma caught her up again.

She pulled out a leather skirt; similar to one she'd had before. Okay, skirt, she could work with that. She pulled it up her legs and over her hips. She zipped it up and grunted. Ooh, a little tight. Max frowned and turned sideways to look in the full-length mirror. Hmm, she must have put a few pounds on since she'd worn it last. Although she liked her clothes tight, she didn't like them binding. _'Oh hell. I probably wore the thing once and then never again. I'm not exactly a skirt person,' _she decided. She unzipped it, breathing a small sigh of relief. It was probably Alec's cooking that had done her in. She threw the useless fabric onto the pile on the bed and let out another aggrieved growl.

"Problems?" Alec called from the outer room. Max rolled her eyes as she sent hangers sliding across the metal rail of the closet. Her hands encountered the dry-cleaning bag that she was sure held her wedding dress. Wouldn't Alec be shocked if she wore that on their date? She giggled a little at the thought, staring at the bag with longing. And then another thought occurred to her.

"Alec?" she called. "What did I wear on our first date?" Knowing them, they'd probably gone to Crash and drank beer and played pool. She tilted her head to the side as she moved to push the wedding dress out of the way, she realized that there were two hangers in the bag, not one, as she would have thought. Quickly, she unzipped the bag, and smiled.

"What was that?" Alec called back.

"Never mind!" she offered, pulling out the outfit she'd found. It didn't take long to pull on the silky length of skirt. She smoothed a hand over the peach material, with the scattered, dark red rose pattern, then turned to pull on the matching peach sweater. It fit perfectly and Max felt a twinge of recognition, as if she'd stood in this exact position before, wearing these clothes. Which she wrote off with ease. They were her clothes. This was her room. It was only natural that she'd worn them before.

She sat down and quickly applied a light foundation, sparingly used for a number of reasons. The main reason that with her natural complexion, she really didn't need it. But tonight she wanted to feel special, to make the whole evening memorable. And that meant feeling pampered. She quickly applied some mascara, for just a hint of dark lashes, some lip-gloss, arranged her hair and was ready to face her husband.

Alec was leaning against the kitchen counter when she made her entrance. Max watched as his eyes lit upon her and began to sparkle. He moistened his lips, his mouth opening to make some comment. But he stopped and his mouth snapped shut.

"What is it?" she demanded softly.

"Your clothes," he murmured. She glanced down at herself.

"Oh yeah," she chuckled. "I just saw it in the closet. And well, it looked kind of datey. You know, with the roses and all…" she trailed off as she plucked at a non-existent thread and then brushed her hand once more over her thigh.

"Yeah, that…" Alec cleared his throat and stood up straighter. "That's what you wore on our first official date." Max felt a slow smile spread across her face.

"You know," she whispered as she moved forward to stand before him. "I kind of had this flash. Like I had done this all before. I guess, well since I have done it before, it makes sense now."

"That's good," Alec murmured back, his hand reaching for her waist. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you," she smiled. He took her hand and pulled her to the door. Max was about to reach for her jacket, but Alec was quicker, holding it out for her to slip on, sliding easily into the role of gentleman. Or maybe it wasn't a role. Max wondered briefly about it. All these little things that Alec did for her, things she yearned to do for him. Normal people would call them courtesies. But Max was beginning to figure out that it all stemmed from love. In wanting to make the person you adored happy. Doing simple things, just to see a smile on his or her face. Of course, that didn't explain her tendency to smack him when he'd ticked her off. _'That was just foreplay, m'dear,'_ the little voice in her head chuckled.

Alec pulled on his own coat and zipped it halfway before taking her hand again. "We should get going," he announced genially. "We still have to walk down to the car."

"Where exactly are we going?" Max asked for the first time. Thinking of their first date earlier made her wonder, again about this evening.

"I thought we'd go out to dinner and see what happens then," Alec replied as the moved down the stairs. "And before you ask, no I am not trying to recreate our first date." Her mouth snapped shut with a grin. He could read her so well.

"Why not?" she asked pertly. Alec wrapped his arm about her as they transversed the last flight.

"Because," he sighed, "I don't think it's fair to either of us for me to set something up like that and get my hopes up about you remembering it. Cause if that didn't happen, I'd be disappointed. And then you'd be disappointed and neither of us would be happy."

"Yeah," Max groaned. "That'd be us."

"So instead," Alec whispered in her ear, "I want to take my darling wife out for dinner. Talk about our day. Maybe go dancing and just enjoy us in general. That okay?"

"It sounds perfect," she sighed dreamily.

They arrived just in time for their reservation. Alec had come around the car and helped her out. Max was vaguely surprised to see they had arrived at one of the poshier restaurants in the Pulse devastated city. They swept in, the doorman holding the door for them. Alec took their coats to the coat check and returned to escort her to the maitre d'.

"Reservation for MacDowell," Alec spoke in low tones. The officious looking man smiled tightly, as if his face would crack if his mouth moved.

"Certainly Mr. MacDowell," he intoned. He pulled two menus from his little stand and turned to gesture discreetly at a young lady. "Marie," he offered to the young woman as she took the menus, "table eight please." She nodded and he turned back to the couple. "Enjoy your evening."

"Thank you," Max nodded as they followed the waitress, "we will."

Alec held her chair for her and Marie waited until he was seated before placing their menus before them. She described to them the choices from the bar, then asked Alec if he wished for a wine list. Alec nodded and she went off to retrieve it. Max took in her surroundings as she'd been trained early in life to do. The soft tinkling sound of other diners filled her ear amid the swelling murmur of conversation. Across from them, there was an area for dancing; a band set on a dais, playing the nouveau jazzy sounding movements that appealed to today's snobs. She grinned to herself as she imagined herself and Alec out among the sparse crowd making use of the amenity. But before she could make a comment about it, Marie had returned. As Alec perused the list, Max picked up her menu, but still studied the restaurant.

The décor was what she had expected. Soft colors to accentuate the romantic image. Chandeliers strategically placed to illuminate rather than glare. The air was mildly warm, heated more by the bodies in it than by a heating system. Max shivered unconsciously. It did feel familiar to her. But not in a good way. Not surprisingly, it reminded her of Logan's penthouse apartment at Fogle Towers and of the many evenings they'd spent their, drinking wine and eating pasta. Max shook her head, trembling a little.

"Max?" Alec's voice brought her back to the present. "Is that okay with you?" She glanced up and widened her eyes. He chuckled when he realized she hadn't been paying attention. "The wine?" he clarified.

"Ah, actually," she scrambled about a bit verbally. "I don't think I care for any tonight." She injected a note of apology in her tone, but Alec didn't take offense. He turned to look up at Marie as he handed the list back.

"So just one carafe of the white then," he nodded. She smiled and turned to Max.

"And what would you like madam?" she asked gently, not offended at all by Max's choice. "We have juice, sparkling water, an assortment of teas…" she trailed off as she let Max mull it over.

"Oh, some juice sounds good," Max sighed. Lately it had seemed like she was thirsty for the sweet nectar at odd hours.

"We have freshly squeezed orange, apple or white grape juice," Marie offered.

"Grape please," Max finally decided, amused. It seemed the richer you were, the more choice you got. Something she'd learned quickly in her life and had never really forgotten. Marie nodded and left the table again. She returned with their choices and left them to deliberate over their meal. Max scanned the list, deciding that she was in the mood for anything. Except pasta that was.

"So what do you want?" Alec asked with a teasing smirk as her eyes flickered between two choices.

"Ooh, I don't know," Max whined. "It all looks so good." She glanced up. "I'm deliberating between the chicken and the salmon." Alec leaned back and shrugged.

"So order them both," he suggested with a twinkle.

"Alec!" she protested softly. "That'd make me look like a pig!"

"No it wouldn't," he chuckled. Then waved a hand dismissively. "Order anything you'd like Max. Just don't order, you know, everything on the menu. I can afford a lot, but not that."

Max's eyes widened as she took in the implication. She shut her menu and leaned across the table to whisper conspiratorially. "Alec, are we rich?"

Alec opened his mouth, no doubt intending to make a smart remark, but just as quickly remembered the validity in her asking. He leaned forward as well. "Yeah," he nodded. "Not millionaires by any lengths. But I mean we own stock in all of the fastest growing businesses in Seattle, hell on the western seaboard. Not to mention our cut of the profits of Terminal City."

"Oh," she murmured, sitting back, her eyes wide.

"And you always chewed me out for my money making skills," he chuckled.

"Those weren't skills," Max retorted. "Those were scams."

"Yeah, but you can't deny that I was making money off them." Max settled for mock glaring at him, as she couldn't refute that statement. Marie returned then to take their order. Max settled on the salmon and rice pilaf, while Alec chose the chicken, letting her know with a wink that he was amenable to sharing. After Marie wandered away again, he pushed back his chair and stood, moving around the table to her side. He held out his hand and smiled down at her.

"Dance with me?" he asked simply and Max was out of her chair before he could finish. He led her to the dance floor and she slid into his arms as if she'd done so many times before. She let her eyes drift shut as Alec pulled her in close, pressing her head into the crook of his shoulder. One hand rested about her waist as he tucked her hand he clasped loosely against his chest. Her free hand pressed against his broad back as he circled her slowly but expertly around the floor. She let her eyes stay closed, certain that he wouldn't let her stumble.

"This feels so good," she murmured as the song changed, still just as slow as the others preceding it did.

"It does, doesn't it?" Alec chuckled, the sound rumbling in her ear.

"I'm glad I made you take dance lessons," she chuckled into his shirt. But he paused so suddenly that Max yanked her head up to see what was wrong. Alec was staring down at her strangely.

"You remember that?" he demanded quietly. Max's eyes widened as she realized that the thought had just slipped out. And the brief flash served her well. She'd protested that Alec's skills on the dance floor were not appropriate for their wedding. And after much begging and cajoling, had gotten him to agree to a few classical ballroom dancing lessons. He'd caught on quickly, as was expected.

"Yeah," she tilted her head to the side. "You sound surprised."

"Well excuse me," he drawled, exaggerating the sound. "Here's me just getting used to the fact that you don't remember and then you pull this on me."

"It's not like I planned it Alec," she chastised gently. "That's just the way it happens." She caught the mild look of disapproval from the other dancers and deliberately swayed her hips against his. Alec took the hint and they began to move about the floor again absently.

"Really?" he asked, his mind working rapidly. She nodded.

"Mm hmm. I'll just be going about my business and all of a sudden the knowledge is there."

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair. "I just really don't know how to handle this."

"It's okay," she sighed. She understood, as she hadn't much idea what else to do besides what they were doing. "I guess, just assume I know nothing."

"That won't be hard," he joked. Max would have pulled away, but for the teasing she heard.

"But also know that I am eventually going to figure it out," she warned playfully. "So if you have any big bad secrets, you better think about fessing up." She'd meant it to be a joke, but the way he stiffened, she knew she'd hit a nerve. "Alec, what…?"

"Not tonight Maxie," he muttered, trying to entice her back to the dance. She allowed him to move her about, but was worried. He had a secret? She couldn't help but give voice to the nagging sensation in the back of her mind. Alec sighed and led her back to the table.

"What's the secret Alec?" she demanded quietly once he'd taken his seat. He stared at her from across the table, his features even, tinged with sadness. Max felt her heart speed up. What on earth could make him look like that?

"It's not a secret Max," he offered. "At least not the way you mean it. It's something we both knew about that happened fairly recently. It just… I just don't want to think about it tonight. Can we do that please?" When he looked at her like that, Max felt herself melting under the intensity of his gaze. She bit her lip and then slowly nodded. "Trust me Max, when you remember, we'll deal with it. We did before, we will again."

"Okay," she whispered around the lump in her throat. He picked up her hand, caressing the soft skin of her inner wrist. Before he could say more, their dinner arrived.

Dinner had been delicious. Max expected no less. Things had been awkward for a little bit, but then Alec had asked how her first full day back in the war zone was and they found themselves laughing over the antics and happenings of the inhabitants of their prospering community. After dinner, they'd shared one more dance and then Alec had escorted her out to the car. She was feeling drowsy and sated after the rich food and sinfully delicious triple chocolate cake she'd indulged in. So it was with great surprise when the car pulled to a halt that she looked up and instead of finding themselves at the outskirts of TC, were instead at the Space Needle.

"What are we doing here?" she asked suspiciously. Alec turned in his seat to face her.

"We haven't come here for a long time now," he shrugged. "And I know you like it up there. I thought we could take a walk up and enjoy the view." Max inhaled deeply. How did he always know just what she needed? Oh yeah, from paying attention to her and her habits. She smiled shyly and nodded. Alec perked up a little more at the look on her face and turned completely to rummage around in the back seat.

"What are you doing?"

"Just getting a little something," he grunted. He sat back, holding a thick blanket. At her questioning glance he shrugged. "It'll be chilly up there." Max shook her head at his thoughtfulness and opened her car door. She met Alec on the sidewalk after he'd locked the doors and together they made their way up to the pinnacle of useless pre-Pulse tourist sites.

Once at the top, Alec laid out the blanket and pulled Max down upon it. He leaned back; bracing himself on his hands as Max settled herself between his legs, leaning back against his chest. The city was laid bare before them, twinkling lights from both man-made sources and the moon glowing above them. There was a slight breeze, playing at Max's hair, but it didn't bother them.

"This is great," Max enthused. "Nothing has changed up here."

"No, I guess it hasn't," Alec agreed with her. "You can't really expect it to."

"It's not that," she denied. "I mean, this place, it's permanent. I come up here and the whole city is there for me to lose myself in. Right now especially, I like having something permanent, you know?"

"Yeah."

"Permanent things make me happy," she went on, feeling the tension in his body. "Original Cindy, Joshua, the Needle…you." She whispered the last, glancing up at him. Alec's eyes softened as he opened his mouth to respond, only to be interrupted by a persistent ring emanating from his coat pocket.

"Hold that thought," he groused as he retrieved the cell phone. Max would have protested, but she kept silent, knowing that it could be any number of things. "Hello?" Max snuggled in closer as his free arm wrapped around her again. "Oh hey Logan, buddy! What's up?" Her eyes shot open and she tried not to tense up. She bit her lip in frustration as she only heard his end of the conversation, which consisted mostly of softly grunted "uh huhs." Finally though, he hung up the phone. And didn't seem perturbed at all. When the hell had Logan and Alec gotten to friendly terms?

"So what was that about?" she demanded impatiently. Alec slipped his phone back in his pocket and cuddled her close once more.

"Not much," he shrugged. "Logan was just calling to let us know that Asha can't make it to the party."

"Oh," she whispered. Although it shouldn't have surprised her that those two were together.

"See, you don't remember but Asha is pregnant," he went on, seemingly oblivious to her sudden quiet. "And she's been having difficulties. So apparently her doctor ordered bed rest for the last month."

"Oh," she muttered again. Asha was pregnant? Again, natural course of events, she shouldn't have been surprised. "T-that's too bad. That Asha and Logan won't be able to make it, I mean." Alec stared down at her strangely.

"What do you mean?" he grimaced. "Of course Logan is coming." Her eyebrows shot up. That wasn't at all like the Logan she knew, to desert his wife and coming child to go party with a bunch of freaks. Then understanding dawned in his eyes. "Oh no sweetie, you got it wrong."

"I did?"

"Yeah, Logan and Asha are not a thing," he chuckled. "Asha married a sector cop last year." Max was stunned for a moment, then burst out laughing. Alec laughed as well. "Yeah I know, strange huh? But Rob's a really nice guy."

"Okay," Max finally wheezed. "So Logan is coming?"

"Yeah," Alec pursed his lips, as if debating the information on the tip of his tongue.

"Go ahead, spit it out," Max urged. "I know you want to."

"Well, he's bringing a date."

"Oh, anyone I know?" she asked with the mildest interest. He nodded. "So who is it?"

"Well," he hedged, "I don't know when you met her, so you might not remember her now."

"Her name Alec?"

"Daphne."


	18. Deepening Emotion

Title: Dream Within  
Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)  
Rated: R  
Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.  
Timeline: Six weeks after FN.  
Pairing M/A  
Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.  
A/N- This chapter is dedicated to Fayth. Just because I absolutely adore her stories.  
  
Chapter Eighteen Deepening Emotion  
  
"It's not that funny, you know," Alec sighed heavily. Max had been giggling for the last few minutes. Ever since he'd told her the name of Logan's date for the party that the freaks were throwing. At first, her eyebrows had shot up, the shock evidenced in her eyes. But then she'd laughed. Obviously she remembered Daphne. And as Alec had never met the woman, or heard of her before, he couldn't share the joke.  
  
"Actually it is," Max calmed down enough to say. She wiped a tear from her cheek that had trickled down; a sign of long held mirth bubbling forth. "And oh my God. I have to call Cindy." Her hands were already reaching for the cell phone in her husband's hand. He didn't prevent her from taking it, but just rolled his eyes.  
  
"You know, we're supposed to be on a date here," he whispered conspiratorially. She chuckled again, dialing her friend's number.  
  
"I know," she whispered back as the phone rang. "And we'll get back to it." Her attention turned back to the phone as Cindy finally picked up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey Cindy, it's me," Max greeted quickly.  
  
"Hey boo. What's up?"  
  
"You are not going to believe whom Logan is bringing to the party," she began, wondering how many hints she could drop before Cindy figured it out. She scooted closer to Alec and he pulled her back to him, cocking his head. Max tilted the phone a little so he could hear their conversation.  
  
"Well I know it's not you an' it's not Original Cindy. So all outta ideas here."  
  
"Oh, it's definitely a mutual acquaintance," Max teased. "Although I'm sure you knew her a little better than I did." There was silence for a moment.  
  
"So gotta figure we're talkin' 'bout a woman here?"  
  
"Very much so," Max giggled.  
  
"Well damn sugah, Original Cindy don't have no transgenic memory. There've been a lotta ladies in this girl's life."  
  
"Oh and you assured me she was quite memorable," Max continued. She could feel Alec moving restlessly behind her and decided to take pity on both of them. There was a millisecond where she'd like to have dragged it out. It felt good to actually be in on the memories for once. But she knew how much she didn't like not knowing and wasn't so heartless to keep them in the dark forever. "A certain Eyes Only's former fiancée?"  
  
"Daphne!"  
  
"Hey got it in one," Max sighed. She could feel Alec trying to restrain his laughter.  
  
"Daphne is comin' to the party? As Logan's date?" A valid question.  
  
"I don't know," Max shrugged. "Maybe she's interested in a little somethin' somethin' with an old friend," she suggested knowingly. She glanced up at Alec to see his eyebrow shoot up. She pulled the phone away from her mouth and silently warned him. 'And no you can't watch!' He understood her perfectly, if his pout was anything to go by.  
  
"Mmm. If that's the case, then this girl definitely need to be rethinkin' her wardrobe. What do ya say boo? Feel up to some shoppin' with Original? Or do ya have your dress already?"  
  
Max bit her lip. She mentally scanned her closet. The only fancy dress in her closet was her wedding dress. She wondered if she just hadn't had time to get something yet. "Nope. And even if I did, why on earth would I pass up hangin' time with my girl?"  
  
"You know Original Cindy gonna hold that to you next time ya blow her off fo' that husband of yours." Max crinkled her nose up, knowing she'd been caught. "Jus' teasin'."  
  
"All right," Max sighed, then perked up. "How 'bout I give you a call tomorrow and we can arrange it?"  
  
"Sounds good, boo." They said their good-byes and Max handed the phone back to Alec. He tucked it into his coat with a silly grin on his face.  
  
"So, Logan actually dated a lesbian?" he chuckled. Max smiled as well and nodded. "Oh I could say something so bad right now."  
  
"Be nice," she admonished, even though she was sure the same thoughts were running through her own mind. "It wasn't like she told him or anything. Well, at least not until after they were engaged. Or was that after Bennett got married?"  
  
"Oh this just gets better and better," he sighed happily. "Just one thing though. How did Daphne and Cindy manage to hook up?"  
  
"Oh that's simple," Max waved a hand dismissively. "See, I went with Logan to his cousin's wedding. Daphne was also a guest. Of course, I had to go save Normal from art thieves. And at the time Cindy knew nothing about my abilities. So I left her at the reception to run interference between Logan and Daphne, who were glommed onto each other pretty much the whole time. By the end of the night, I'd saved Normal, kept a guy from killing himself, Logan got a heads up on Daphne's gender preference, we saved a National art treasure, I beat up some bad guys and Daphne and Cindy hooked up." She paused for breath. "Oh and I stole Logan's mother's locket back from his Aunt Margo."  
  
"All that in one night?" Alec teased, his arms sliding around her. "You were just a regular little superhero, weren't you?"  
  
"Yup," she grinned. "All that and in a Raphael Banks original, I might add," referring to the designer of the dress she'd purloined. It didn't matter if Alec didn't recognize the name, he got the drift. But the pensive look in his face caught her attention. "What?" she asked gently. Alec gazed down at her for a moment before turning his face back to the view of the city. He rested his cheek on her hair.  
  
"Do you ever miss it?" he asked softly. "Those days when no one knew what you were and you could just be a regular girl?"  
  
"Not at all," she answered quickly and to her small surprise, honestly.  
  
"Really?" he asked skeptically. She was already shaking her head.  
  
"Really," she insisted. "I'm so much happier with what I have now. Because I didn't have this stuff then. And it was what I wanted for so long."  
  
"Yeah," he scoffed quietly. "A husband and life you don't remember." She could hear the pain in his voice as he brought the insecurity he felt over his position in her life out in the open. She reached up with a hand to cup his cheek. Alec nuzzled at the palm of her hand, but she could still feel the tension in him.  
  
"No," she denied, her voice strong. "A family. That's what I have now."  
  
"Do you really though Max?" he asked seriously. "Do you feel that or are you just hanging on to it because it's your dream and you have nothing else to hang on to right now?"  
  
"I feel it Alec," she replied slowly, catching his drift. She knew it already, now she just had to make him understand it. Her hand toyed with the blanket underneath her. "Can I tell you something without you laughing at me?"  
  
"Um, depends on what you tell me, I guess," he smirked, attempting to lighten the mood just a little. She tensed in his arms. "I mean if it were a joke, I'd have to laugh, right?"  
  
"It's not a joke," she mumbled.  
  
"Then I won't laugh," he assured her. She nodded, her hair rubbing against his throat.  
  
"The blanket," she began and immediately lost him.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Just go with me on this one, okay?" She felt him acquiesce. "Okay, you wake up in the middle of the night on the couch. Maybe you fell asleep in front of the television or something. And there's this blanket on you. It's nice and warm, comfortable. You don't know if your own body heat warmed it up, or if someone put it in front of a fireplace to warm it. Or maybe in a dryer. Or maybe it's even an electric blanket. Hell, you don't even know who put it on you. All you know is that it feels good. And all you want to do is snuggle back down in it."  
  
"So uh what does that mean?" Alec spoke up in the silence. Max smiled even though he couldn't see her, her hand tracing absentminded patterns over his thigh.  
  
"It means that I woke up and there was this warm blanket surrounding me that felt so good, I wanted to do nothing more than immerse myself in it. Because it was safe and it made me feel good. And the more this blanket is around me, the more like I feel that it was made and molded just for me."  
  
Alec chuckled slightly. "So I'm a blanket now am I?"  
  
"No," she denied gently. "You are the moon and the stars and the sun in my sky. You are my everything. And I love you Alec McDowell." Her words almost seemed to echo in the very air around them. Max shivered against the cool air, surprised to feel that Alec had gone completely still behind her. She turned her head up to look at him, stunned by the moisture shining in his eyes. "Alec?" He bit his lower lip, the emotion shining in his face seeming to get the better of him for a moment.  
  
"You don't remember," he muttered after a moment. Max looked quizzically at him. "Those were our wedding vows Max. Or at least some of them."  
  
"Oh," she murmured softly, thinking over what she'd just said, and how true they felt in her heart. "They were pretty." She felt Alec nod.  
  
"You know," he finally spoke again, his voice soft and husky. "That makes eleven."  
  
"Eleven what?" Max demanded quietly, unsure what he meant.  
  
"Eleven times that you've said that you love me," Alec explained. Max sat up and twisted around to stare at him.  
  
"You've counted?" she demanded, shocked and slightly perturbed by the idea. Alec grinned down at her.  
  
"Well, you don't say it a lot," he argued. "So every time you do, it's kind of special." She blinked at him, not sure whether she was upset that she didn't say it more or that Alec used those times as a measure of her emotion for him.  
  
"But I show you, don't I?" she asked, earlier fears rushing in on her again. Alec did so many things for her that she never doubted his feelings for her. And his unwillingness to believe her that she cared for him in the same way, even if she couldn't remember their relationship was unnerving. Alec gazed down at her, his face lit in a half-smile.  
  
"Yeah Maxie, you do," he finally murmured. "Sometimes you have a strange way of doing it, but you show me." Max sucked her lower lip in between her teeth, realizing what he was referring to. Honestly, if any other woman had hit someone so much, they'd be labeled an abuser. Thank whatever powers there were that she'd forced herself to quit doing that. Alec certainly didn't deserve it.  
  
"You know," she paused and took in a deep breath. "Maybe I should tell you a little more often." She was pleased to see the other corner of his mouth turn up.  
  
"Yeah, you could do that," he joked. "I certainly wouldn't mind."  
  
Max moved forward, shifting to settle herself on his lap. Alec's arms came up automatically as she cuddled in close to his chest. She tilted her head up, capturing his lips in a soft kiss. She stole the heat of his mouth with pleasure as the wind picked up slightly around them. And while she had him distracted, her hands slid downward to pull the material of his shirt from the waistband of his pants.  
  
"Max," he rumbled warningly, stilling her hand with one of his own. She pulled back and looked at him earnestly.  
  
"We can't live in limbo Alec," she explained slowly. "I've done that before and it'll drive you nuts. You were right before. If I don't get my memory back, then we'll learn to live with it. All those little things can be left behind. But regardless of the state of my memory, we need to find new things that bind us together, every day. I'd much rather be moving ahead than stuck like this for who knows how long." She didn't realize that her hands were clenching the material of his shirt in her desperation to make him understand how she felt.  
  
"Are you sure Maxie?" he asked at last, watching her carefully.  
  
"Oh yes," she grinned, loosing the shirt, only to run her hands over the skin she'd managed to expose. "Very, very sure." She cocked her head to the side, her eyes entreating. "But if you still aren't comfortable..." she trailed off. She may have coerced people before into doing her will, by various means. But there was no way she would ever force Alec into this. Through all of her many heat encounters, she'd learned the degradation of having control over something so personal taken from you. She watched as he debated with himself, until he finally made a choice.  
  
"It's just that it feels like I'm here," Alec began, gesturing vaguely between them. "And I know you're back here," again with the vague gesture to the side. "And there's no way between the two."  
  
"Yeah there is," Max smiled even as she argued. "All you have to do is bring me here," she mimicked his motion between their bodies, her hand coming to rest on his chest, just over his heart. Alec stared down at her fingers as they slid over his shirt, slowly unbuttoning the fabric. Max held her breath, waiting for him to move. Either way she would abide by his decision, but oh, she hoped he made the right one.  
  
Her breath left her in a whoosh as her name left his lips as if a prayer, his hands caressing her shoulders as he drew her closer. She met his lips lightly as she felt them dropping backwards. Max pressed against his chest; her legs cradled between his as Alec reclined on the unyielding blanket covered metal surface of the Needle. She felt his hands, one entwined in her hair, the other around her waist, splayed against her back. She braced her hands against the blanket, pushing up just enough to rub enticingly against his chest where his shirt had fallen open. Enough to relish the friction her sweater provided against her own skin. She sighed happily as she felt his hand steal up under her clothing, his fingers sending a shock of heat through her that no clothing could compare to.  
  
Alec's fingers roamed across the expanse of skin, slowly working their way up to her bra. Max found that she was quickly losing her head in her need to connect physically again with her husband. Even though it had been such a short time since their last encounter, his refusal to do this had created a barrier between them that she was eager to breach. She rocked back a little, settling on her knees above him and pulled her coat from her body before she realized then that they had chosen a rather precarious position on the Needle. She glanced down at the bundle in her hand and finally threw it towards the inner observation deck. Alec watched the progression the clothing took before glancing back at her face. His cocky smile pulled at Max's heart. She liked him this way. When he was happy enough to smirk at her like that. Well, she'd just have to keep it up. Her sweater followed and Alec swallowed audibly, as he seemed to realize her intent.  
  
His hand moved to still hers as it reached the zipper of her skirt, but Max adamantly pulled the zipper down. She slid the material down over her hips slowly, enjoying the darkening of his eyes. "Max," he groaned. "You do realize where we are, don't you?" The skirt went flying over his head and then she returned her lips to his. Her hand threaded through his hair, urging him to look up into her eyes.  
  
"I'm about to make love to my husband," she whispered. "Where are you?" She moved her other hand under his jacket, pushing it off his left shoulder. He paused for only a moment before enthusiastically helping her and soon his jacket, shirt, pants, shoes and socks had created a haphazard pile near hers.  
  
"I'm right here with you babe," he replied, as he rolled them over. "Right where I want to be."  
  
"Ah, me too," Max sighed as his hand moved down her thigh, caressing the quivering flesh. His lips met hers heatedly as she shifted underneath him. "Oh God, I need you Alec."  
  
"It hasn't been that long," he teased.  
  
"Oh yes it has," she argued. He opened his mouth to debate that, but Max caught his lips once more, never content to be a bystander. Max groaned softly as his Alec took her over, again. Somehow everything tonight felt sharper, deeper, as if they were in the same place, finally. They made love to each other slowly, savoring the connection they were building until at last it broke upon them.  
  
Max felt it, more than physical satiation, more than muddled feelings of caring flooding through her entire being. She felt complete. And by the tears in her husband's eyes that mirrored her own, she knew he felt it too. Max felt dizzy. "Oh I love you, I love you, I love you," she chanted happily as he buried his face in her neck. Finally, he collapsed against her, the sweat on their skin cooling them rapidly in the unfettered breeze. Alec kissed her forehead as he settled at her side. Thoughtfully, he reached for the edge of the blanket, bringing it over them. Max turned on her side, cuddling into him as he tucked the end underneath her.  
  
Max was sated enough that she could have fallen asleep. Until of course Alec chuckled, the motion reverberating under her ear in his chest. "You know," he drawled, looking down at her. Max lifted her head enquiringly. "I'm only gonna count that as once." Her brow furrowed until she realized that he was referring to her earlier declaration.  
  
"Smart ass," she mumbled. "I told you I was going to have to say it more."  
  
"And you certainly did," he grinned, looking absurdly pleased with himself. Which she supposed he had good reason to be. They fell silent as Max pressed small kisses against his chest. His hand stroked through her hair. The breeze continued to blow, picking up just enough to catch at an untucked end of the blanket. They both shivered as the cold wind flew up their bodies. Alec sighed and quickly jerked the blanket up, leaving Max shivering for a moment as he stood up. He bent over and just as quickly, tucked the blanket back around her before lifting her up in his arms. Max pulled her arms free to wrap around his neck while he carefully negotiated the small slope. Once inside, he let her blanket clad body slide down his. "You know," he whispered conspiratorially, glancing back at where they'd just re-consummated their relationship, "it's a good thing hover drones don't come up this far."  
  
"Alec!" 


	19. Memory In Blue

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: NC-17

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Nineteen

Memory In Blue

Max rolled over to her side, coming awake with the rapid blinking of her eyes, trying to ascertain what had awoken her. She stared around the bedroom, her mind still slightly foggy with sleep. Until a long lean arm passed over her to land on the alarm clock. She watched as Alec deftly slid the little switch off and turned her head to see that he was still reclining on his side. She hid a smile at his innocent expression, even as she knew he was fully awake. She had probably slapped at the "sleep" button, like she had many times before in her life. Alec's hand came away from the alarm clock to rest on the curve of her hip.

Max grinned and wriggled around until she was facing Alec, his hand sliding over her stomach, to curl around her waist comfortably. She leaned in, her nose almost touching his. "Good morning," she whispered. His lips twitched into a smile as he tilted his chin upwards, searching for her lips. Max let her eyes drift shut again as she welcomed the soft caress of his skin on hers.

"Mmm," he rumbled deep in his chest. "Good morning." Alec pulled her in closer and nipped at her ear. "You weren't supposed to wake up you know."

"Really?" Max smiled at the playful tone of his voice. "Why is that?"

"Cause in a few minutes I was gonna get up and make you breakfast in bed," he explained with a small yawn. Max flopped her head down and imitated a small snore. Alec chuckled, his fingers tightening on her ribcage before walking up her side. Max squirmed and tried to roll away from him but Alec held tight, his fingers lightly roaming her skin.

"Oh, cut it out," she gasped, trying not to giggle at the sensation.

Alec lifted his head to see the wide smile on her face. "No no," he grunted, "it's too late. You ruined my plan. Now you have to pay."

"Ah," Max snorted inelegantly, trying to push his hands away. "I wasn't hungry anyway," she mumbled. That was enough to make him stop tickling her. He propped himself up on his side and winked down at her.

"Oh come on," he laughed his voice still light. "After a night like last night, you're always hungry." Max's eyes widened, hit again with another little tidbit about her life that she'd never realized before.

"Really?" she muttered conspiratorially. Alec frowned and then seemed to remember all at once the strange predicament they'd become embroiled in. But he didn't seem as perturbed by it as he had been before. Now, he simply nodded and took on a slightly more serious mien.

"Yep," he enunciated slowly. He shrugged one shoulder. "Makes sense though. We burn off a lot of energy through the night. Got to make it up somehow."

"That's true," she conceded.

"Thought you would have remembered that," Alec teased again. Max rolled her eyes and pouted up at him.

"Yeah, well, how long ago was it that I wasn't having regular sex? Or even semi-regular sex? Or God, even any kind of sex at all?" she blustered, waving one hand in the air for emphasis.

"Well, I always had this theory about you and Original Cindy…"

"Alec!" Max couldn't help the small, instinctive smack to his arm. It was just a tiny one, because as much as she disliked hitting him now, she still couldn't let him get away with little digs like that. Perhaps sometime soon, she'd think up a better reprimand, but for now, a small knock on the arm and an apologetic kiss would suffice. Just as long as he didn't make too many of these remarks. Max stared at the limb she'd just attacked and leaned forward to press a small kiss on the barely irritated skin. Alec smiled down at her action, which gave her brain a little jolt. Had she done something like that before? She knew better than to wrack her brain for the answer. She chewed her lip contemplatively. Aside from her pride, was there any reason not to broach this with her husband? It took her a moment, thrusting away the blush that rose up her cheeks as she debated and finally decided that asking was better than giving her a headache. And being embarrassed over it anyway. "Hmm, serious question," she threw out, warning him about the change in topic direction.

"Serious answer," Alec quipped with a saucy grin.

"Alec," she protested again, fighting back a grin of her own. She watched him try to school his features into a repentant pose, but it wasn't working. "Okay," she sighed, her finger rubbing over the area she'd just marked. "Does that, or did that ever bother you?" He looked at her blankly. "Me hitting you," she clarified softly, unable to meet his eyes. She heard him sigh, the moment of lighthearted happiness quickly disappearing. She felt his fingers slide under her chin and she chanced a look up. But he didn't appear to be upset, just slightly thoughtful.

"Honestly?" he asked. Max inhaled deeply. Was there any other choice? She nodded. He cocked his head to the side, glancing up at the ceiling. "Depended on the situation I guess."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, a little smack like that, after a smart ass remark from me," he shrugged, "not a big deal. Being punched didn't really like. Beating on me, not a picnic. But I survived." Max sighed heavily and bit her lip. But as she opened her mouth to reply to that, Alec placed a finger across her lips. "Max, don't worry about it. We dealt with this a long time ago."

"We did?" she questioned with not a little amount of relief. He nodded. "But of course I don't remember that," she mused, "so I still feel crappy about it."

"Don't," Alec urged. "We set down some ground rules." He grinned as he quickly recounted them for her. "No hitting below the belt." She grinned as well at that. "No random punching, either one of us. And no flicking each others ears."

Max squinted up at him. "Where the hell did that one come from?" she chuckled. It seemed quite out of the blue to her. Alec laughed too, rubbing his ear as he recalled the incident.

"Ah, well, we kind of pissed Original Cindy off with all our bickering," he muttered, blushing slightly.

"And?" Max couldn't wait to hear now.

"And she grabbed us each by an ear and made us apologize to each other," Alec blurted out. Max arched an eyebrow at him and then dissolved into laughter.

"Yeah that sounds like OC" she mumbled.

"Hey! It hurt," Alec protested loudly, rubbing at his ear again. "Although she did promise to make it up to me later."

"Oh really? How?" Max's voice was dripping with sarcasm. Alec winked lazily at her.

"She promised me she'd lay the smack down on our fine transgenic asses if we kept it up," he shrugged.

"And how is that good?" Max scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Hmm, you, me, Cindy, asses?" he smirked. "How could it not be good?" Max gaped at him for a moment before giggling again.

"You are such a man," she snorted through her laughter. Alec preened before her.

"And what a man, huh?" he teased, flexing his arm. Max gave him a little push, knocking him off balance.

"Go make breakfast," she ordered gently. "I need to call Cindy." Alec nodded and leaned forward to give her a peck on the cheek. But even as she accepted the small gesture of normality between them, Max's mind was whirling with the implication of what she'd just said. She needed to call Cindy. Something that she had been doing ever since she had "woken up". But today was going to be a different matter. She'd promised to make arrangements to meet her friend and go shopping. That meant talking for a lot longer period of time. And Max was sure that there were bound to be things that came up to which she held no knowledge of. Like who Cindy was dating now. The events of the recent birthday party they'd had. Even if Cindy was still working at Jam Pony. Max's face fell. Just as before in her life, she'd been sharing her burden with her best female friend and former roommate. Except this time Cindy wasn't exactly aware of it.

"Max," Alec's voice brought her out of her musings. She glanced up at him, surprised to see a half smile on his face. He shrugged as her brows drew together, puzzled. "Tell her," he prompted, reading her as clearly as a book. "She'll understand." Max gave a light snort. "What?" Alec smiled. "You know she will."

"It's not that," Max grumbled as she rose from the bed and slipped her robe on. "I just feel like I should, I don't know, hand out business cards or something, explaining my dysfunctional brain or whatever." Alec laughed at that, but the grumpy expression on her face must have warned him that she was serious.

"I don't know that you need to go that far," he smirked. "But look at it this way Max, you weren't able to hide it from me or Joshua. And because Cindy's as close, if not closer in some ways to you, you won't be able to hide it from her."

"That's true," she conceded.

"So you may as well tell her at least," he offered. "It would really hurt her if you didn't and she figured it out some other way. I agree that you don't need to tell anyone else. It's not like it's a matter of our national security. So if you want this to remain private, then it will. Cindy knows how to keep a secret, right?" She nodded. Yes, her friend definitely knew how to keep things to herself. She'd proved that many times over. And not only that, she guarded those secrets and the people involved more viciously than a bulldog. Somehow, it was if a little weight was lifted from her shoulder. Maybe having people in the know was better than keeping it all to herself. After all, a burden shared was a burden lessened.

"I'll tell her," she affirmed, giving her husband a sunny smile.

He was right. Of course he was right. Max had known it all along herself. But fears, doubts and insecurities could play havoc with a person. Which in this case should have been absurd. Cindy understood. Well, not understood in the sense of having known all along. But she asked gentle questions, like _how did it happen?_ and _do you know what caused it?_. And then had offered her unwavering support in whatever capacity Max needed. Max had replied that all she needed at that moment was a little girl time. So they had decided to use their respective lunch hours to get together. Max turned away from the phone she was staring at to see Alec waiting for her to tell him her plans. She moved into the kitchen, accepting a plate of food from him as she did just that.

At precisely noon, Alec knocked on the frame of her opened door. Max and Jiminy, who had been discussing the upcoming benefit, both glanced up. "Hey Alec," Jiminy greeted easily. He started sweeping up the paperwork they'd laid out before them and turned back to Max. "I'll finish this up and have it ready for you to look over when you get back from lunch, okay?"

"Sounds good," Max nodded. Alec stepped back to let Jiminy out the door and then leaned against the door.

"You ready?" he asked.

"I don't know why I wouldn't be," Max quipped. "All I need is my appetite and me."

"Yeah, well the restaurant might not have the same point of view on that," Alec grinned at her grimace. "Money Max."

"Oh yeah," she gulped. "Um…" Alec was already reaching for his wallet.

"Don't take this the wrong way," he chuckled as he withdrew a large wad of cash and held it out to her, "but I got you covered."

"Why would I take it the wrong way?" Max shrugged. "I mean, we are married after all. What's yours is mine and all that crap."

"Eh, not really," Alec shrugged as she took the money from him. She glanced up sharply at him. Alec stepped into the room and shut the door behind him, lowering his voice. "You were more of the opinion that what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours." He caught her still puzzled mien. "We have separate bank accounts," he clarified. "And seeing how you probably don't remember your password, I went ahead and took some out of mine for you to use until you remember."

Max felt herself soften a little at the thoughtfulness in his simple gesture. Of his thinking of these things for her. Because in all honesty, this was one of those issues that hadn't even occurred to her yet. In the past, whenever she'd gotten paid, she'd always gotten it in cash. And then she'd just carried the amount with her, or stashed it at home, paying for things as she went, or not, depending on the circumstances. It never occurred to her that she and Alec were so… normal as to have a bank account. She folded the money over and stuffed it into her pants pocket and approached him. Max stood on her tiptoes to reach her arms around his neck.

"Thank you," she whispered in his ear before pressing a kiss to his lips. Alec pulled away, a glint in his eyes. He rifled through his jacket pocket a moment and pulled from it a cell phone.

"I also got you this," he muttered, pressing it into her hand. "Just in case you need to get in touch with me." He grimaced, obviously expecting her to be angry about his presumptiveness. But she wasn't, at all.

"Thanks again," she chuckled. "Do I have your number?" She glanced over the phone.

"Ah, speed dial one," he announced with a slightly cocky tone. She rolled her eyes in an _of course_ kind of way. "So," he continued, still holding her close, "have fun, don't spend too much, and say hi to Cindy for me."

"Will do," Max nodded once decisively, then moved out of his embrace. She headed out of headquarters, a kind of nervous excitement rolling in her stomach. Sure, she and Alec had left TC the evening before. But then, she'd had the comfort of her husband beside her. Right now, even though she knew she could take care of herself, it felt as if she were embarking on a grand adventure. She was leaving TC for the first time, by herself, with no knowledge of how much the outside world had changed in regard to her and her own. It was going to be interesting to find out.

Sitting at a kiosk in Seattle's own version of Chinatown, where she had arranged to meet Cindy, Max mused on how little things seemed to have changed for the world at large. People were still people and seemed to have recovered from the devastating blow of mutants on the loose. Some people had even recognized her from her time of infamy after the Jam Pony hostage incidence. So yeah, there was a measure of avoidance, but for the most part, ignorance. To the majority of the working class of Seattle, she was just another person trying to get by in a broken world.

"Hey boo!" a familiar voice greeted her. "What's got ya lookin' so spun?"

Max felt the grin erupt on her face. Whether she knew it or not, she had been missing this. "Hey OC!" She jumped up from the stool she'd been perched on and held out her arms to hug her friend, which was returned as enthusiastically as it was given.

"So we eatin' and then shoppin'?" Cindy nodded to the Asian woman ready to take their order. "Cause Normal was generous with the time today on account of Original helpin' ya out with the dress buyin'."

Well, that answered one question. "Sounds good to me," she nodded and turned to contemplate the menu.

They spent the remainder of the time in Chinatown discussing what had went down, both personally and semi-professionally since Max's memory loss. And Max was relieved to find that she could just as easily slip into the flow of conversation with her friend. Cindy was gracious enough to explain things as she went, having had enough time that morning to recount things to accommodate her friend. So when they headed off to one of the nicer dress shops, it felt as if nothing had separated them.

"Ooh, look at this one sugah!" Cindy's voice caught her attention and Max glanced over to see her friend holding up a stunning, deep red cocktail dress.

"Try it on," she encouraged. Cindy nodded and turned to the dressing rooms. Max glanced back down at the two dresses she'd been contemplating. The first was an ankle length, cream colored gown with spaghetti straps lined with rhinestones. The other, a Prussian blue, shimmered under the lights of the store. Max was a little dubious about it, but knew that dark colors like this worked well with her complexion. She noticed the salesgirl trying to hover unobtrusively in the background and with a smile, gestured to the dresses before her. "I think I better try them both on."

"Of course ma'am," the young woman smiled widely and led Max to an empty booth. She unlocked the door and stepped back to let Max enter. Max locked the door behind her, hearing the woman's footsteps leading away from the area again, but not too far of course. She doffed her clothes quickly and carefully removed the dress from the hanger.

"Any luck boo?" Cindy called out. Max unzipped the back of the blue dress and slid it over her head.

"Yeah, just a sec," she called back. She twisted around, zipping it up and then smoothing the material. It swirled around her ankles a moment before settling in. Max took in her appearance, pleased to see that she had been right about the dark color complimenting her features. And as a bonus, she didn't have to resort to red or black to do it. She pulled open the door to her little cubicle, setting the wedge so that it wouldn't lock on her and then turned to see her friend preening before the full-length mirror. She whistled under her breath as Cindy turned impish eyes towards her. "Lookin' good, you foxy mama you," she teased.

"Right back at ya sugah," OC pursed her lips. Max lifted one shoulder gracefully and turned so that her friend could take in the backless feature of the gown. "So, you gonna get it?"

"Don't know," Max answered honestly. "There was one other dress I was lookin' at. Kind of reminds me of my wedding… dress," her voice grew fainter as she realized exactly why she had chosen the other dress. And she heard Cindy's voice reply she really did, but the thoughts, the memories that assaulted her mind just then were too much.

_Straightening Alec's tie just as the ceremony was about to start._

Glancing up shyly as she repeated her vows.

Alec's lips descending on hers as the Justice of the Peace pronounced them husband and wife.

The hugs and congratulations from their friends, from their family.

Logan's sad eyes as he watched from the back of the room.

Dancing in Alec's arms.

Mole blowing cigar smoke in her face as she handed him a slice of cake.

X8's running after one another while the adults laughed at their antics.

Posing for pictures for Sketchy, whispering her love in Alec's ear.

Dashing from the building in a hail of cheers, only to stop short.

Someone standing in their way.

Their eyes angry.

Accusing.

Hurt.

Max gasped; air rushing into her lungs as the world around her began to spin. She knew those eyes. Had seen them often enough in dreams, but now in her waking moments too. "Oh God," she whispered. "Tinga."


	20. Healing The Bond

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Dedicated to Lyra, who was not only my first reviewer at NWP, but also my 100th!!!!! Thank you so much sweetie!

Chapter Twenty

Healing The Bond

Max came back to consciousness slowly. At first, she was swimming in darkness. Sound the only sensation to filter through her being. Voices were murmuring, one familiar the other not quite. Max centered on the familiar voice, somewhat groggily. It took only a moment for her to realize that it was Original Cindy. Once she realized that, her world began to right itself more rapidly. She blinked her eyes open to find that she was still slightly adrift in the vertigo that had claimed her before. She took a deep breath, willing the room to stop spinning. Her eyes fluttered as she carefully turned her head to realize that Cindy was perched on the floor, cradling Max's head in her lap. She was telling the other voice not to call the ambulance.

"O.C.?" she croaked out. Cindy's head snapped back around to contemplate her friend.

"Damn girl," Cindy got out in a rush. "Y'all had me scared for a minute there. You okay?"

"Yeah," Max answered slowly. "I fainted?" O.C. nodded her head.

"Ma'am?" the other voice interrupted. Max turned her gaze upon the other voice. It was the salesgirl. "Do you want me to call for an ambulance?"

Max shook her head slightly, wary of any lingering pain that might accompany the movement, but there was none. "I called Alec," OC informed her, then turned to the salesgirl. "Her husband," she clarified. The woman nodded and backed off a discreet few inches.

"Let me up," Max urged. Cindy contemplated her friend for a moment then nodded. She remained still while Max pulled herself upright. Max pulled her legs underneath her, frowning at the feel of the material tugging at her legs. She realized then that she was still wearing the blue dress she'd tried on. Max came to her feet, feeling decidedly ungainly as she took stock of her physical condition. The dizziness had faded, her head didn't hurt, and all her limbs were in working order. And she seemed to remember the last few weeks. At least she hadn't lost that, even though the previous months still seemed to be gone but for a few memories she'd already recalled. She rubbed one hand over her brow and glanced down at the dress again. "I'm so sorry," she murmured to the salesgirl, but the woman was already waving it off.

"It's no problem," she assured her customer. "As long as you are all right." Max nodded slowly.

"I should probably change out of it," Max decided.

"Do you want to wait until Alec gets here?" Cindy asked, a modicum of concern still tingeing her voice. Max shook her head, moving towards the cubicle that held her street clothes. "Will you be okay sugah?"

"I'll be fine O.C.," Max assured her. "I just want to change and go home." Cindy nodded, letting out a deep sigh. Max could easily read the apprehension in her friend's eyes. She was a little unnerved herself. But given the reason behind her fainting spell, which she was desperately trying to repress for the moment, it was a completely understandable reaction of her body. She slipped into the cubicle, pressing the door shut behind her. She ignored the mirror, not wanting to yet confront her own haunted features and instead concentrated on lowering the zipper of the elegant gown.

Just as she was pulling on her boots, she heard her husband's slightly frantic voice calling her name. Cindy called him into the back room. She made sure that the dress was hung properly and turned to open the small door. She stepped out, right into Alec's embrace. "Oomph, Alec, need to breathe!" she gasped out. Alec, chagrined, stepped back a little, loosening his grip but not letting her go entirely.

"Sorry," he apologized quickly. He tilted his head to the side as he contemplated her. "What happened? Cindy said you fainted." Max nodded, unable to voice the rest of her mini ordeal and settled for resting her head on his shoulder. His hand came up to cradle it gently as he addressed his main concern. "Did you hit your head or anything?"

"Nah," Cindy broke in. "Original caught her afore she went down all the way." Max could feel Alec nodding before he turned his attention back to her.

"Max? Baby?" he spoke softly, the distress and worry over her clear in his eyes.

"Can we just go home Alec?" she asked in a small voice.

"Of course," he acquiesced immediately. Max pulled away from him and turned to her friend.

"Sorry about this," she mumbled. Cindy was already shaking her head.

"Not a problem," her friend asserted, reaching to give the other girl a hug, which was accepted gratefully. "You just make sure and take care o' yourself boo." Max nodded. She stepped back, linking hands with Alec as they made their way out of the changing area. Max turned back with a small grin at the doorway.

"Oh Cin?" she smiled as O.C.'s head came up. "Get it. Daphne will love it." Laughter erupted from the black woman.

"Aiight, on wit you two," Cindy instructed, waving them away.

Alec held his silence until they were seated in the car. Max waited for him to start it only to find that he'd turned in his seat to face her. Max bit her lip and held back a sigh. She should have known that he'd be unwilling to leave this for long, just like everything else. "What really happened?" he asked quietly.

There was no point in her hiding it, because she did intend to ask him about what she had seen. She just didn't want to have to face it yet. "Cindy and I were trying on dresses," she began and Alec nodded. He'd figured that out already, but held his tongue. "I had picked out two that I liked. The second one… it reminded me of my wedding dress." His eyes widened slightly, making him look excited, yet apprehensive.

"Did you… remember?" he asked, almost squirming in his need to know. She shook her head.

"Not really," she admitted. "Just had these little flashes of the wedding and the reception… and after."

His lips curled up in a grin. "After? You mean our honeymoon, such as it was?" She shook her head again, the corner of her mouth turning up a bit.

"No, I mean right after the reception," she clarified, her face dropping once again as those dark eyes flashed before her again. "Can we please just go Alec?" she pleaded tiredly. Alec stared at her, trying to recall what might have made her upset enough to faint over the memory. And it seemed to suddenly come to him.

"Damn!" he swore softly. He straightened in his seat and inserted the key in the ignition. "Home is probably the best place for us right now." Max eyed him, wondering at his sudden turnabout. He obviously knew that she was thinking about Tinga and he knew why she was upset about it. But with the memory was a familiar urge to push the problem from her mind. The inability to deal with it in the moment it occurred. Max leaned her head against the slightly cool window, pondering this. She remembered feeling this way before. It was how she'd felt with Logan, dealing with the virus. There were some days when she couldn't be around him, because neither one had the answer. She couldn't deal with the uncertainty between them. And she felt like that now. She wanted answers. But she wanted to hold off the darkness for just a little while longer, knowing that the imminent information would hallmark another large change in her life. Her chaotic thoughts swirled around her mind for the entire drive. And Alec's uncharacteristic silence only plagued those thoughts further; keeping her occupied until they arrived at TC.

Their progress was halted only briefly by a stop at headquarters to let Jiminy know that they wouldn't be returning to work. They both wore deliberately deceptive carefree smiles and as they left, Max could hear the suggestive comments being bandied back and forth good-naturedly about the leaders. Normally she would have gotten huffy, but better they were gossiping over that than over Max's memory problems. She wondered briefly if she wouldn't have been better off to announce her condition to her people, but instinct had served her well in the distant past. And she trusted that instinct now that told her to keep this on the down low. Alec knew and understood, and that was all that was important.

Max went straight to the couch as soon as she reached their abode, Alec right behind her. She made herself as comfortable as possible, which wasn't very. Her eyes jumped to the bookcase, where their wedding album rested. In her mind she rapidly went over the pictures she'd rifled through in the pages, but none of them contained Tinga. But that made sense, because she'd seen her sister after they'd left the reception. She put a hand to her forehead again, willing the questions to stop for just a moment as she unconsciously drifted towards her husband.

Alec's arm came up around her shoulders as he rubbed soothingly at her free hand. "What exactly did you remember Maxie?" he questioned gently. Max's hand dropped away and she found herself staring at his neck.

"Like I said before," she began slowly, trying to order the sequence of memories, "the wedding, the people who were there. Then the reception just bits and flashes. And then we left… and _she_ was there." There was silence for a moment as they both digested her words. Alec pulled her in a little tighter.

"It wasn't Tinga baby," he whispered softly to her. Max's head came up, her eyes wide. "That was X5-657, Tinga's clone."

"Her clone?" Max choked out, her senses reeling slightly. "Jesus! How many of us were there?" she demanded hotly. Alec chuckled humorlessly. She tried to wrap her mind around this new revelation. It hadn't been Tinga. Her sister was truly dead. She'd been dead when Max had cradled Tinga in her arms in the missile silo complex so very long ago. And if there were a God, Manticore wouldn't have desecrated her body. But with the example they had shown her with Zack, there was no guarantee there.

"We found that out a while ago," Alec's voice brought her back to the moment.

"Found out what?" she asked, still a little startled.

"Everyone had or was a clone," Alec shrugged. Max pulled away from him. He looked a little relieved to be discussing something of a now still personal nature, but on a lesser scale.

"Huh? What does that mean exactly?"

"Sorry, everyone in the X5 series," Alec continued. Max gaped at him. Alec rolled his eyes slightly and pushed her jaw shut. "Yeah, that's about the same reaction you had the first time.

"How did we figure that out?" Max demanded.

"Just general consensus," Alec shrugged. "A bunch of us got together and we were comparing stories. You were there and whenever a designation came up that was close to one of your siblings, you'd say so. Pretty soon we'd accounted for clones of almost half your unit."

"What about the rest?" she asked quietly, hesitantly.

"Well, we didn't know everyone in Manticore, obviously," he sighed. "So Logan looked into it. Managed to find some of the older program records."

"What'd they say?" Max queried. She was interested in discovering what else Logan might have discovered, but she could check into that later.

"Well apparently, it wasn't until the X5 series that they were able to perform the cloning," Alec explained. "So of course, Manticore figured they'd get more bang out of their buck if they doubled all the viable embryos. But while they'd improved the cloning, it didn't prevent genetic drifting."

"So some of the embryos were fallible," Max concluded. Alec nodded a look of disgust crossing his face. It wasn't a pleasant subject for either of them.

"Some of them made it to birth and more defects were discovered," Alec went on morosely. "Whatever couldn't be fixed, was terminated. Others developed defects down the road and were dealt with then." Max could hear the coldness creeping into his voice and immediately wormed her way back into his embrace. He smiled down at her, knowing what she was at, but Max didn't care. Just as she had come to rely on the comfort and strength he gave her, she knew that he would appreciate it too. There was a moment of silence before Max nudged him gently, prompting him to continue. "From what you'd said about your unit's designations, it looks like all the surviving twins, the lower numbers were put into one unit. And the rest…"

"What happened to them?"

"From what we could figure, they were scattered into other units," Alec shrugged. "No more than two twins of yours per unit and they tried to put us in with clones whose lower designation twins didn't survive."

"How could they do that?" Max demanded, slightly outraged. "I mean without us recognizing each other?"

"There were a lot of early deaths Maxie," Alec sighed. "When we finally saw some numbers, all of us, well it was a shock, to say the least." Max nodded slowly, ingesting this information. But then another thought occurred to her.

"Wait, this doesn't make any sense," she protested, sitting up again. His brow furrowed as her train of thought veered from a different path than his. "Lydecker," she said simply.

"What about him?" Alec asked warily.

"He was searching for us all those years," Max recounted, her eyes thoughtful. "But we were at an age where our looks were changing rapidly, filling out. Why didn't he use our clones?" Alec's eyes widened a little before he burst out laughing.

"Of all the stupid ass things," he grunted. Max chuckled as well. Such a simple thing, something she or Alec would have done, yet it hadn't occurred to the ordinary soldiers at all. Or had it?

"I mean, the first time we encountered each other, at the genetics convention, he had no idea who I was," Max shook her head, amazed that the Colonel hadn't used every single resource at his fingertips.

"Yeah, well Lydecker was busted down pretty heavily," Alec surmised. "There were murmurings that it wasn't entirely the fault of your unit that you ran. Lydecker was blamed for encouraging forward thinking with you guys. He was prohibited from having contact with the rest of the units in case that was true."

"Really?" Max was skeptical. She'd known how important the transgenics were to Lydecker. But when she thought really hard about it, she could never remember a time when he'd talked about any other units. He was always and only concerned about his "kids". Her unit. They were his ticket to redemption within Manticore she realized. He got them back; he'd get back a measure of control. She turned to Alec to say so, but there was a glazed look to his eyes that puzzled and honestly, worried her a little. She rested her hand on his cheek, but it was as if he didn't see her. "Alec," she said softly, not wanting to startle him.

"He was there," Alec breathed out heavily and he seemed to snap back to himself. He glanced down at her. "When I was thrown into Psy-ops," his voice faltered just a tiny tremor, "when Ben…"

"When Ben was killing?" Max clarified with a wince. He nodded. "Lydecker was there?"

"I didn't really remember until now," Alec's jaw was clenched. "The bastard came in when I was strapped down…" Max could see the hint of anguish written more clearly than he would have liked in his eyes. "He just stood there and looked at me." Max pulled him towards her, wrapping her arms around her. It was a strange little teeter-totter they had going, back and forth between the two of them.

"Oh God," she murmured. "That's probably how he found Tinga so easily in Portland," she realized. "I mean how many bakeries would they have checked? He probably pulled in all the twins and looked at them after he'd gotten Zack. He probably knew from 657 what Tinga looked like, shown her picture to all his soldiers. Everyone else had gotten out but her."

"Rianne," Alec said suddenly. Max frowned at him. "657's name. It was Rianne." Max nodded slowly until the meaning of those words sank in.

"What do you mean 'was'?"

"I'm sorry Maxie," he offered gently. "She's dead."

"How?"

"White."

Max paced the room for at least ten minutes, unable to sit still after that last revelation. Alec simply watched her, letting her work off the vibrating anger that had seized her. He seemed to understand her need to move. Max was getting violently upset. And since White was dead, and she'd sworn to herself that there was no more hitting Alec, she was at a loss as to how to resolve her anger. So she paced. Finally she halted and turned to her husband.

"How many?" she demanded in low, ugly tones. Alec ran a face over his tired face.

"How many what Max?"

"How many of our people did White get?" she demanded. There was no mistaking the cold flat look in his eyes.

"That we know of for up close kills?" Alec grunted rhetorically, but Max nodded anyway. "Seven. Remote, three. Suspected? Eleven."

"So we've lost almost two dozen people?" Max growled.

"More if you count all the ones before we made it to TC," Alec sighed. "CeCe, Biggs, Brain, all those that White captured that we weren't able to get to…" he trailed off with a small shiver."

"And it wasn't all White, was it?" Max lamented as she made her way back to the couch. She seated herself so that she could look at him. "Tell me about them Alec," she urged.

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" he demanded softly, his eyes searching.

"It doesn't matter if I didn't grow up with them," she explained quietly. "But they were my family, your family. I don't want to hear about how they died. I want to hear how they lived. That they had at least a little freedom, before…" Alec bit at his lower lip and brushed away the tear clinging to her lashes and gave in. He held out his arm and Max snuggled in.

"There was Kit," he recounted, his voice laced with sadness. "She was an X6…"

They had talked all afternoon. Alec telling her tales, Max asking questions. They laughed and cried. Well more Max cried a little and Alec held the sad look in his eyes. They finally broke to eat dinner at Alec's insistence, though Max didn't have much of an appetite. Afterwards, he'd pulled their wedding album from the bookcase and they cuddled together some more and went through the pictures. Alec pointed out some more of the people she didn't recognize. And then she'd finally gotten up the nerve to ask about Tinga's twin, Rianne. Alec had haltingly told her about Rianne's arrival in TC just shortly before their wedding. Her anger was easily explained, as when Max had first caught sight of her back then, she'd called her Tinga. Rianne had set her straight and Alec figured that in Max's disappointment, she'd been more than curt and standoffish with the new arrival. And it only fueled Rianne's opinion that the '09ers were too full of themselves.

But her death was much more poignant that the rest of them. All Alec would say of that was that Rianne had died protecting Max from White. Max had been stunned to say the least. That a woman who hated her would willingly give her life to save her. It eased the ache in her heart that maybe Rianne was more like Tinga than she could have known. And that she'd had some semblance of her sister back in a very strange, distorted way.

They'd finally headed to bed. But Max couldn't keep from going over the pain filled list of those that they had lost in her mind. And it wasn't just those that had been killed, but those that had been damaged, if not physically, like Alec and Joshua, those that had been scarred inside from loss. Every one of them, living in TC had been touched in some way by it, whether they acknowledged it or not. Near midnight, Max was still tossing and turning a little, unable to slip into sleep as Alec finally had.

Max sat up eventually. The room was lit by moonlight filtering in. The thought preyed on her mind. That there was so much loss in the midst of their every day lives. And there wasn't any way that she could fix that. She heard a small grunt and turned to see that Alec had kicked off the bed covers. A small grin took hold of her face. His face looked so boyish, in sleep. Her gaze flickered downwards. But the rest of him was oh so deliciously full-blooded male. Max felt a shiver run through her as she thought on just what he'd done with his body at various times. The strength in his fighting skills, the gentleness he held her with, making love to her.

And to her, it wasn't that long ago that his touch had filled her with a different feeling. When his skin on hers set her senses to jangling in recognition. Not lust or anything of that nature, but just a moment where she felt the similarity between them. He was one of her own, in the same way she had been one of his. United in the pack of outcasts and freaks. She'd noticed it to a lesser degree with other transgenics. Like those kids she and Alec had rescued from White's trap just after Manticore blew. Just something in her skin that called out family.

Max sighed softly, remembering her early wonderment over how her body had accepted Alec's touch with pleasure, even when her mind was confused. Some part of her had remembered him. She glanced down at him again. Just like part of his body remembered the pain he'd endured even long after it had healed. Why he flinched unconsciously, immediately after making a smart remark to her. Why his hip was so sensitive to touch. Max frowned at that. At least he was starting to get over the flinching, but that was because he wasn't expecting the blows anymore. They were both training themselves to get past that. But Max wondered if there was any way to get over the remembered pain that came from White.

It was so simple, that Max was ready to kick herself. Just as Alec had replaced his initial familiar touch with one of love, all Max had to do was replace the memory association with something better. And there was no better time to start than now.

She scooted down the bed, holding her breath. It would be much better if Alec would stay asleep for this. But she wouldn't hold her breath that that would last long. When Max was curled against his legs, leaning her head against his thigh, she stole a glance up at him. He was still in his little dreamland. Max pursed her lips and thought a moment. She'd have to start off slow and simple. She let out a little huff of breath and there was no reaction. Max chewed at her lower lip. Then let out a purposeful gust over the taut skin of his hipbone. Still nothing. Encouraged at this, Max peppered kisses along his muscled thigh, moving upwards ever so slowly. The kisses were light, just barely there. But when she finally reached that one spot that drove him impossibly wild, she took more care.

Alec shifted beneath her in his sleep after she ghosted a kiss over the protruding bone and she looked up apprehensively. But there was a pleasant smile adorning his lips. She turned back to her mission, finding herself enjoying it almost as much as any other pleasure she could name. Her lips increased the pressure just slightly; the rest of her body attuned to his response. And so far the reaction was still favorable. Her fingers soon joined in, tracing the outline of his body. Max was enjoying herself enough that she couldn't resist mimicking the movement with his other hip. Make his body realize that what was good for the goose was good for the gander. She almost laughed at that thought but held it in. But it was a valid idea. If it felt good on one side, then she'd teach the other side that it would be good too.

But as Max moved her lips back and forth between those two little spots, she felt his jutting erection pressed against her cheek. "Always ready," she giggled softly. "God I love you Alec." Since his body seemed so insistent on clamoring for her feminine attention, Max didn't resist, letting her instinct on this guide her. Alec moaned in his sleep, his hips jerking a little, but Max took it as a good sign when she saw the blissful look on his face.

She opened her mouth and drew him in, slowly working her way around the length of him. But as she continued she found that she was starting to lose focus, her hand consistently moving away from his hips. Finally she gave up and took him all the way in. Her hands returned to caressing and soon she had to hold him down.

"God Maxie," he moaned and she glanced up at him, pleased to see his eyes fluttering awake. His hand came up to tangle in her hair. "Damn! I love this dream." She released him to let loose a giggle, pure joy flashing through her. He'd realize it wasn't a dream soon enough, but hopefully, he wouldn't notice her hands still pressed against him. With that in mind she smiled up seductively at him.

"Not a dream Alec," she whispered and bent her head back to him. He hissed as she once again swirled her tongue around him, her left hand moving to massage his more tender flesh. He almost whimpered as she kept that up, keeping him on the brink as he writhed beneath her.

"Damn Max!" he gasped, his neck arched back. "Quit teasing!" She grinned around him and complied. The simple motion set him off and she could hear the string of curses murmured under his breath as he erupted in her mouth. And the whole while, he never even noticed the pressure she'd exerted on the damaged hip.

When she finally let him loose, Alec had one arm thrown over his eyes. Max chuckled and he suddenly threw his arm to the side and sat up, startling her a little. He hauled her up into his arms and kissed her thoroughly. When he pulled back, he cocked an eyebrow at her. "Couldn't sleep?" he asked cheekily. She shook her head. "And let me guess. You didn't want me to sleep either?" She shook her head again.

"Oh you can sleep all you want to," she teased. "I can always have my wicked way with you."

"Yeah, any time baby," he teased right back. She shifted a little as she felt his penis starting to react again. She wiggled her hips, nudging it with her hip, seated on his lap as she was. But when he grunted, he didn't seem pleased. It took her only a second to realize. "Oh your hip! Sorry!"

"It's okay," he assured her quickly as the grimace faded. Max shook her head and pushed him back to recline against the pillows. She pushed off him and before he could protest had turned and thrown one leg over his thighs.

"Maybe you'd like it better if I sat this way," she suggested with a purr in her throat. He moaned in response as she moved suggestively over him.

"You know me," he grinned, making himself comfortable, propping his head up with his arms underneath so he could watch her. "I like it any way, any time."

"I know you do," she taunted, her head coming down to nip at his chest. She was extremely pleased with herself. She just scored a victory that he had no idea about. For now that he wasn't paying close attention, she could touch him everywhere, the good outweighing the bad. And even if it took many more nights of work, it was a sacrifice she was oh so very willing to make. "I love you Alec."

"I love you too baby."


	21. Bright Lights, Utter Geniuses

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Twenty-one

Bright Lights, Utter Geniuses

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Christmas Eve

"Hurry up Alec!" Max called for what seemed the billionth time in the last fifteen minutes. She hastily dragged the wrap that matched her floor length hunter green dress up over her arm where it was constantly slipping from. Her hand clutched reflexively on the slim purse that served no other function than to hold her lipstick. She eyed the clock in the kitchen as she heard her husband puttering around in the bedroom. She was about to call again when the door finally swung open and he stepped out. Max grinned as he patted down his chest, his eyes slightly frantic as they darted around the room. "Come on," she whined slightly.

Alec glanced up at her; his eyes lightening a little as he took her in. But then he was back to the frantic look. "Sorry babe," he apologized hastily as he moved to the small pile of papers on the kitchen counter. "I just feel like I'm forgetting something."

"Ugh," Max rolled her eyes. "You're completely dressed, you have your little speech and you have me. Now let's go!"

"No I'm serious Max," Alec exclaimed as she tried to yank him towards the door. His feet faltered a little as his gaze perused the sedate room once more. She let him go with a sigh. She ran through a mental checklist and there wasn't a single thing missing, as far as she could tell.

"Alec, you're just nervous," she pointed out. "Although I can't see why," she continued, teasing a little. "You know you just love all the attention. And you never shut up. Sometimes I think Manticore designed you especially for that purpose. If they couldn't bludgeon an idea into someone's head, they'd just send you in. You could natter a country into surrendering."

"Ha ha," Alec muttered, his hands going through his pockets again.

"Okay, okay," Max chuckled. "Do you have everything you're supposed to bring?"

Alec looked thoughtful for a moment, running through his own checklist. "Yes," he answered finally.

"Were you supposed to call anyone?"

"No."

"Was there a problem that you needed to deal with about tonight, that you haven't?"

"No," he answered quickly, but a frown marred his features. Max pulled him closer to her and smoothed the lapel of his jacket down.

"Alec, you're X5," she pointed out in a no nonsense tone of voice. "X5's don't forget anything unless they voluntarily wipe it, it gets wiped or are brain-damaged." She tilted her head to the side, considering. "Or unless they're me."

"That's an interesting thought," Alec pulled back to peer closely at her.

"What? Being me?" Max quipped. She knew what he had suddenly focused on. It wasn't a new thought to her, but it may have been to him.

"No, the voluntarily forgetting," Alec supplied. Max sighed again. She grabbed his hand and smiled tensely up at him.

"If this was the way you acted all the time, then yeah, I could see it," she grunted at him. "But it's not, so I didn't, so now can we go?" He seemed to get the hint.

"Yeah, we'll talk later," he grinned. He let one last look sweep the room and he sighed as well. "I guess I remembered everything." He wrapped his free arm around her waist and they moved to the door. "Why are you in such a hurry anyway? You're the one who is always late."

"I want to see Mole!"

Max pouted nearly the whole way over to the hotel. They were just a shade too late, having to stop and wait for Joshua, who was riding with them. She'd greeted the big dog-man, who looked very respectable in his black suit. They'd had such a time finding and altering the suit because of his height. But it was done and he was enjoying himself. Already. Alec was distracted, the whole drive over and Max found herself going over things in her mind. All vehicles from Terminal City had headed out, fully loaded with everyone attending. The X6's not attending the party were installed with their younger charges and orders were set on whom to contact if anything went sideways. Anything including babies who wouldn't sleep, right up to the possibility of Familiars. Other transhumans who weren't inclined to be among the masses of ordinaries were stationed at various points around their little city.

Transgenic security and hotel security were already in place. Alec had been informed of that already. The catering staff had arrived at the hotel in plenty of time to set their spread. The band had arrived at the hotel to find the stage all set for them. All they had to do was warm up and appear at the proper time to provide the appropriate, Christmassy, give us money background ambiance. She and Alec had talked and reinforced the idea with the transhumans not to group together and try to mingle. Beyond that, they could only cross their fingers and hope for the best.

Max was pulled out of her reverie as her car door opened and a young man in hotel valet dress proffered a hand to her. She took it and stepped out, realizing that Alec and Joshua had already gotten out. She smiled her thanks as the young man, about her age escorted her the few steps to her waiting husband. Alec tipped the young man and then held out his arm to his wife. They carefully stepped towards the hotel and the fulfillment of many long days and nights of hard work. Joshua hurried in behind them, still unused to the hustle and bustle of the upstairs people.

Once they were through the main doors, Max reached out for her large friend and linked her free arm through his. She could feel the slight trembling as Joshua smiled wolfishly down at her, his canines prominent. The new black eyepatch was prominent on his pale face. "Aren't I the luckiest girl," she smiled up at him. "To be escorted in by the two most handsome guys here." Alec chuckled as his thumb rubbed softly at the back of her hand. She smiled briefly at him and turned her face back to the nervous tranny. "Ready Joshua?"

He inhaled deeply and took in everything he could see with his limited vision. "Ready," he finally answered. They approached the double doors of the antiquated ballroom at a sedate pace. Inside, Max could see ordinary couples mingling together on one side and the transgenics on the other, the red and gold decorations flickering the background as people moved around. The pattern didn't vary as she brought her vision back to the doorway. Hotel security had taken up station on one side, checking people's invitations and names against the list that they had provided. Transgenic security was directing the guests through the unfortunately necessary metal detectors. At least that little group didn't seem to be having troubles with each other.

Max let Alec and Joshua loose so that the men could retrieve the invitations that were necessary for entry. Max let her eyes roam over Mole, biting the inside of her cheek so that she didn't let the laughter out. He looked just as she'd imagined he would. And while the sight of the big lizard all dressed up was incongruous to say the least, Mole didn't look the slightest bit uncomfortable. Well, except for the inherent tenseness that bespoke of the Manticorian edict of always being ready for anything.

"Has everything been fairly smooth?" Max directed her question to the Ordinary. The man had just checked off their names against his list and was handing the invitations back to Alec.

"Quite so ma'am," he replied with a little twinkle in his eye. He jerked his chin in Mole's direction. "Especially after we had a little talk." He cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows. Max was about to voice her disapproval, but with a closer glance at the man, realized that he wasn't so much upset or perturbed by the talk as he seemed to be amused. She looked to Mole and saw the same amusement there. She tugged Joshua forward, ready to step through the metal detector.

"This won't go off over my zipper, will it?" she asked cheekily. Mole shook his head.

"Nah, we had Natch calibrate it," Mole shrugged, referring to one of their technicians. He waved Max through and true to his word, the machine was silent but for the electrical hum it gave off. Alec and then Joshua followed after.

"So what was that little talk about?" Alec asked quietly, obviously wanting to head off any unpleasantness that might crop up.

"Ah, he was just a hump that we saved back in '16," Mole spoke loudly enough for the other man to hear. Max's eyes furrowed until she realized that Mole was speaking of one of the missions for Manticore he'd been on. She nodded and caught the other man grinning broadly.

"Yeah and we returned the favor when we kept those villagers from trying to burn the 'demon camp' down," he offered heartily. Mole waved his hand.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he scoffed. "Like we couldn't have taken those-!" Max's laughter cut him off before he could fully describe his opinion of the Ordinaries they'd managed to save. Max knew all four men were throwing her strange looks, but she couldn't help herself. If Mole had found it in his tiny lizard heart to get along with a normal human being, then there was hope for the rest of them. Now they just had to get the rest of the world to understand that.

"Ready to beard the lion's den?" Alec asked when she finally calmed down. She nodded and took up his arm again, Joshua following behind. She took in the large expansive room, with the uncirculating guests. As she'd discovered on her dress-shopping trip gone awry, people weren't too worried about the transgenics living in their world. However, socializing with them seemed to be a completely different matter. But luck was with them when Joshua let out a small, excited "woof".

"Rita!" he called. Max caught sight of a slender, well-dressed woman turning quickly, a smile apparent on her face. She broke away from the group she was conversing with and moved with ease through the throng of bodies. She stopped before them and Max took in her stylish yet slightly offbeat dress. Max held back a grin. The woman certainly had flair and the ability to draw one's eye.

"Joshua, I'm glad to see you," she spoke softly, leaning forward. Apparently, his disability didn't bother her at all. Max had known from talking to Joshua about it that Rita had never worried about his looks or background. And she had been humane enough to worry more about her artist than his art.

"Good to see you too Rita," Joshua grinned, turning his head to accommodate his sight. "You remember Alec and Max?" he continued politely. Max couldn't hide her grin this time. Joshua had found a book on mannerisms and had taken every word to heart in preparation for this big party.

"Yes," Rita turned her bright smile to them and held out her hand. "Lovely to see you again, although it's been quite a while."

"That it has," Alec offered smoothly, covering for his amnesiac wife. Although he needn't have bothered, Max reflected. She was aware intellectually from talking with Joshua about the people in her past. Acquaintances didn't worry her too much, since they wouldn't know her well enough to tell there was anything different. She was jarred from her musing when Jiminy sidled up to them, yanking on Alec's sleeve. "Excuse me."

They stepped away, Jiminy obviously needing to impart some information that wasn't for the guests to worry over. Max could have eavesdropped, but was sure that Alec would tell her what was going on. So she paid attention to the discussion of the new paint that Joshua had been trying and the latest project of the transgenics that Rita had sold. For all her early years, learning about art for the purpose of knowing what to rip off, Max was slightly lost in the intricacies of producing those works of art.

When she felt the fingers at her elbow, she glanced up over her shoulder. Alec leaned down to whisper in her ear; "I've got to go take care of something with Mole. Just an equipment glitch. Will you be okay here?" She sighed. She understood the question and where it was coming from, but really, she'd been doing okay. She'd had enough training before escaping Manticore to be able to perfect her blank face and non-committal answers. And that was what she planned to do for most of the evening. At least when she was away from those people in the know about her… condition.

"I'll be fine Alec," she knew there was a slightly harsh tone in her voice, but she was hoping he wouldn't take offense. She just needed him to know that she wasn't a fragile flower who would fall to pieces if he weren't there. Damn it! He should already know. And by his chuckle, he understood perfectly.

"Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes," he muttered and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Oh, get me a drink while you're at it," she called after him. He gave a curt nod of his head without turning back, indicating that he heard her, but was too engrossed in listening to Jiminy to answer. Max turned back just in time to see Rita slide her arm though Joshua's.

"You don't mind if I steal him away, do you?" Rita asked in that way that told people they were only asking for proprieties sake and they were going to whether you cared, objected or not. "There's some people just dying to meet our brilliant young man."

"No, no it's fine," Max waved off the concern. It wasn't as if she could hang off Alec or Joshua all night. She had her own agenda to deal with at some point. And by the looks of it, the crowd still divided; she had her work cut out for her. The artsy duo moved off to join a crowd of ordinaries. Max watched somewhat apprehensively, almost like a mother sending her child off to school the first day as the crowd took in the newest addition. There was a moment of hesitation on everyone's part, but Rita's authoritative mannerism broke through the tension. Max saw Joshua duck his head; still uncomfortable when praise was heaped his way. And then he was engaged in conversation and it seemed as if the waters around him warmed. He'd be just fine.

Max stood, almost forlornly on the edge, amidst both sets of peoples. Not knowing which way to turn. But the decision was taken from her as she heard her name ring out behind her. She turned gracefully, trying to project the image of someone completely in control of herself. Her eyes widened as she realized exactly whom it was strolling towards her. And almost kicked herself that she hadn't recognized his voice. Had it really been so long since she'd spoken to him?

"Logan," she greeted softly. He was striding forward and her sensitive ears picked up the whir and whine of the motorized exoskeleton. She had a vague idea that like the time before, his most recent, at least to her, blood transfusion had finally given out. Although Joshua's blood had certainly lasted longer than hers had. She recalled that he'd used it as an excuse for immunity to the biotoxins in TC. They knew then that the cells were being broken down to waste matter. So if immunity disappeared, the regenerative effects would most certainly disappear too. She felt a minor wave of disgust that she figured that out logically, instead of relying on the instinct of memory.

"Hi Max," came another soft voice. Max tilted her head to the side as Logan's date appeared from behind him.

"Hello Daphne," she smiled genuinely. She'd long ago let go of her jealousy of the other woman who had been Logan's fiancée. Of course, there were mitigating circumstances that helped. "You look lovely tonight."

"As do you," Logan grinned widely. "You're positively glowing." Max took a moment to study him, interested in the change all this time had brought. And to her amused mind, he looked… younger. As if so much weight had been removed from his shoulders. Weight that shouldn't have pulled him down, but when one deliberately embroiled themselves in situations, like Eyes Only, would. She felt a small pang, that he was happy without her. It was a strange thought. Betraying her moment by moment. But it was natural. Logan had been a big part of her life, however right or wrong they were for each other. And now, it was a sign that he had moved on from them. Not just her, but the transgenics, the things they used to be. The things, in some ways, she still was. Oh yes, she'd accepted her position in the current world. As Alec's wife, leader of TC, her job. But as much as she loved this life she was living, she wasn't completely there yet. And it wasn't Logan or Alec or anyone else's fault. Just a disparity between what she was, what she was seen as and how she'd finally get there. Max resisted the urge to rub her temples. She wasn't here to mourn her past; she was too strong, too alive now to go back to that person she had been and in all honesty, didn't enjoy being very much.

Time to get back in the game. "Thank you, I just picked this up on a whim," she tinkled. "So Daphne," she turned slightly to engage the other woman. "I was glad to hear that you'd be attending. Although somewhat confused," she confessed humorously, trying not to offend.

"Oh well as soon as my father got the invitation I jumped all over it," Daphne airily explained. "He's not one for benefits," she offered quietly. "But I on the other hand always enjoy the chance to get dressed up. So when I called Logan and found out he was also attending, we just decided to come together."

"Well I'm glad you made it," Max nodded. "Would you like to mingle?" she asked carefully, gauging the look on their faces. But was pleased to see the interest there, at least on Daphne's face. But Logan was looking beyond her. She was about to turn and see who had caught his attention. But Logan's hand shot out and caught her arm. She raised a slightly disdainful eyebrow even as she unconsciously shivered. Her body knew instantly how wrong that touch was.

"In a minute," Logan soothed when she stilled. "I know we talked about this a while ago, but I did something." Max felt the warning bells going off in her head. Not only did she not know precisely what he was talking of; he was springing a surprise on her. Her body bristled as her eyes flicked about for Alec. She tried to calm herself, remind herself that Logan wouldn't do anything to hurt her. At least not intentionally. There was no way he could have known that she was not up for a surprise. Tonight or any night in the near future. "And here it is," he announced smugly. Max's eyes widened helplessly and then she felt a slight tug at her dress. She glanced down, her heart pounding in her ears.

"Hey Auntie Max," a small voice piped up. Max could feel her mouth gaping. Of anything she might have dreamed up, she hadn't expected this. Heedless of her clothing, the ballroom, the others around them, she sank down to her knees, feeling the moisture gathering in her eyes.

"Case," she murmured, her arms opening. He snuggled into them, as if it had just been yesterday that she'd held him, safe from the dirtbags from Manticore that had stolen him away from his father. "Oh my God," it slipped from her as his arms tightened around her neck. Physically, he didn't feel the same. He'd grown, started to lose some of that baby fat. But the emotion that tightened her throat, the fear and loss and sadness was right there again. She finally let him loose enough to pull back and look into his eyes. They were sparkling with happiness. "Where's your dad, big guy?"

"Right here," Charlie spoke from a few feet away. Max swiveled her head around to see him, adorned like his son in a tux. There was a tremulous smile on his face. Max bit her lip as she pushed herself to her feet again, one hand clinging to the small boy beside her. How was it that they had come to be here when the last she'd heard of them, they'd been hiding out in Canada or Mexico or wherever the hell Logan had sent them? And even as she wondered, she could see Alec out of the corner of her eye hurrying towards them, concern marring her face. But before he could reach her, Charlie had stepped forward and taken her in his arms.

Max's mind reeled. This behavior was too far off from the emotions he'd conveyed to her before. The mistrust of her and her siblings. The disbelief he'd carried when confronted about the truth of his wife. At times Max had felt that Charlie blamed her for opening up this whole can of worms with her painful but well intentioned phone call. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on what the other man was saying as he let her loose.

"… so when Logan called and told me about the benefit, I thought it was a good as time as any to come back," he finished an excited grin on his face.

"Ah, t-that's wonderful," Max stammered as Alec reached her side. His arm slid around her waist in an easy manner, but she could feel the tension radiating back to her. Everyone around her seemed to be waiting expectantly. Logan was waiting to hear what a good job he'd done, pulling off his little surprise. Charlie was waiting for her to continue her end of the conversation. Case was just gazing up at her, those large eyes so expressive, so like Tinga's. Rianne's. Max sucked in her breath as the room started to whirl minutely.

"Hey guys, I'm really sorry, but Rosa needs to speak with Max about the food," Alec announced quickly. "I'll just steal her away for a few seconds." He didn't bother about their protests if there were any, just surely led her away. They were out of the ballroom and off in one of the hallways before Max realized he had done so.

"Alec," she whimpered slightly, pressing her face into his chest. His arms came up around her, one moving to gently massage at her neck.

"I'm so sorry baby," he whispered. "I completely forgot about Charlie coming. I didn't think they'd make it until after the New Year. And Logan never told me any different." Max sighed heavily and lifted her head up, her eyes brimming with tears.

"They know about Tinga, right?" she asked morosely. "I mean, it's been years, they have to know."

"They know babe," Alec assured her. "You've talked to Charlie a number of times this past year, after things got settled in TC," he informed her. He certainly saw that this was no time to play the waiting game with her memories. Max nodded slowly.

"What else?" she knew there was more. And there was.

"Charlie called Logan first and he put him in touch with you," Alec recounted for her. "Charlie was worried about Case's physiology because he was advancing physically and mentally faster than other kids his age. Tinga's genetics coming into play." She nodded again. It was something they all had to consider with the children already in Terminal City. "You suggested that it might be a good idea for Charlie to consider having Case attend the TC school."

Max took a second to absorb that. "But what about the radiation and toxins?" Alec was nodding.

"We were just waiting for the medical tests to get back," he explained. "And everything will be fine. Case has inherited a lot more from Tinga than he did Charlie. We're going to start out with a minimum of exposure and work from there. But everything in his medical work-up says that Case should be immune as well."

"Really?" Max wasn't sure whether she was pleased about this or not. But to have some more of her family back with her. It wasn't Tinga, but it was the closest she could get now. And a wave of pain and guilt swept through her. She certainly hadn't felt that about Rianne. Or maybe she had and still just didn't remember that. She lifted a hand to her eyes. This was all just too confusing for her at the moment. She needed things to just stand still for her, but in the ebb and tide of life, she knew she wouldn't get her wish. Time to maximize her ability of rolling with the punches.

"You ready to go back?" Alec questioned gently, ducking down a little to catch her eye.

"I'm going to have to be," she let out a nervous laugh, but Alec shook his head.

"Max if you're not up for this, we'll go home right now," he stated authoritatively. Max felt her heart melt a little more as she reached up to cup his cheek.

"No Alec," she decided. "We've all worked too hard for this to happen. I'm not going to ruin everything just because of my crappy wiring." He smiled at that. "I'll deal. But, when we get home, we're going to have a long talk about this 'keeping things from me for my own good'." He rolled his eyes but smiled.

"Yes ma'am," he answered facetiously, although Max could already tell that he wasn't going to give in easily about it. And for the most part Max could agree with him. Although the situation would definitely be easier if she were a relatively uninvolved bystander, but that just wasn't the case.

Max was able to breather easier for the majority of the evening. When they'd returned it was to find that their friends from the outside world had joined up with Logan and the others. And after finding out that Logan had sprung Case and Charlie on Max, Original Cindy forewent getting to know Daphne again in favor of supporting her boo. She stuck close by on the off chance that Max would be taken by surprise again. But it hadn't happened. Max made sure to mingle plenty, picking up various members of TC and almost seamlessly inserting them into groups of conversants. She almost wanted to giggle at the predictability of the ordinaries. They'd move in, the ordinaries would flinch, someone would speak, they'd stare, the trannies would show interest in something the ordinaries cared about and the conversation flew.

While it was interesting to see, it didn't quite happen that way every time. Occasionally, a human would be unable to contain their staring, or would stammer off an excuse and back away. Max hoped that the others shrugged it off like she did. But once she'd gotten as many of her people mixing with the others that she could, she figured it was time to take a break. She and Cindy found a quiet corner, while Alec and Sketchy went off to procure a light plate of appetizers, as neither one had had a chance to eat before the benefit. Instead of their usual chatter, the two women stood in silence, taking in the amusing spectacle of the two worlds coming together. Charlie had returned from ensconcing Case in their hotel room upstairs with the babysitter and was chatting amicably with one of the leading businessmen of the community.

"You know," a voice interrupted and the women turned as one to see Normal approaching, a genial smile on his face, "when Golden Boy first told me what you were up to, I had my reservations."

Max shrugged one shoulder. "What can I say? I wondered about it too." Which really was not at all far from the truth.

"But he certainly managed to pull it all together," Normal concluded.

"That he did," Cindy nodded as she saw Alec approaching them, Sketchy not far behind. Someone had stopped Alec to offer some words and Alec listened with one eye on his wife, his hands laden with a small plate and glass of champagne. He nodded and laughed and then gestured towards her. The older man nodded and patted the transgenics shoulder and the men resumed their path.

"Oh thank God," Max breathed as she accepted the plate from Alec. His eyes glittered with amusement. "I was about ready to faint, I'm so hungry."

"Well that'll teach you to take your own advice next time," Alec chided, "and eat before you party." He reached for one of the morsels and she lightly smacked her fingers away. She ignored his hurt puppy dog look as the others snickered. Even Normal knew enough not to get between a hungry transgenic female and her food. The conversation continued to move around her as Max sated her hunger.

The event of the evening continued, the mingling and schmoozing, until it was finally time for Alec to address the crowd. Originally, Max was going to be up there on the podium with him, but she'd vetoed that idea. As familiar as she'd become with this project, she didn't want to have to field questions about how it had come about. And it was more Alec's baby than it was hers. She stood on the sidelines amidst her friends and family as he called for the attention of the gathered crowd.

"Ladies and gentleman," his voice rang over the low murmur of conversation and then he waited patiently for it to come to s standstill. Almost as one, the large group of people turned towards him. But he never faltered for a moment. "I'd like to thank you all once again for attending tonight's benefit. In previous months, we've been taking the opportunity to familiarize the community and beyond that, the rest of the world about our cause. And you've responded wonderfully." He looked around with a gracious smile, letting the people know that they were very appreciated in that moment or at least their money was. Max tried not to snicker as that thought crossed her mind.

"Our work together has culminated in this evening, this benefit," Alec went on. "Through your generous support and the promise of more to come, I am very pleased to announce that in conjunction with Seattle Medical Facilities, we will be able to open the Advanced Medical Research division at the University Hospital," he paused as applause rang out. "What Manticore had become will always be a painful subject for us all, some more than others," he sighed, trying not to let his eyes betray the slight hint of pain all the transgenics felt about their previous 'home'. "But now we can remember the dream that started it all. Because of your support and belief in this project, we will be able to bring the research and cures of Manticore to the rest of the world." There was more applause and Alec held his hands up. "But more importantly, we'll bring the world hope." There was thunderous noise accompanying that statement.

Max glanced around quickly, so pleased to see that all the transgenics and transhumans were standing a little taller, a little prouder at that assertion. They needed this, she realized. They needed to stand up and be counted as more than freaks. To let it be known that whatever it was, they had something to contribute too. Something that didn't mark them as strange, or different. But something… heroic.

"I've said it a dozen times before," Normal spoke in a whispered aside to her. "And I'll say it dozens more. Your husband-!"

"Is a genius," Max finished for him, smiling brilliantly, as she took in the admiring throng. "Yeah Normal, he is."


	22. Whose Truth Is It Now?

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Twenty-two

Whose Truth Is It Now?

__

Christmas Morning

Max felt a tingle, starting low in her belly as she slowly came awake. It tickled it's way up her body as she stretched out her toes, encountering the sprinkling of hair on her husband's legs, nearly tangled with her own. Max lifted her head to glance down to where the blanket had been pushed away, barely catching sight of Alec's arm wrapped about her middle before a wave of dizziness swept over her. Her head fell back with a light sound as it met the pillow, softer than the small groan she let out. She remained calm, hoping that keeping her nerves together would make this imminent bout of returning memories a little easier to bear.

Her slight noisiness was enough to alert Alec though. He made his way to wakefulness just as peacefully as she had, a large grin upon his face. The previous evening, barring certain surprises had been a complete success and they'd celebrated far more personally long into the night. As his eyes searched hers out, he shifted to roll even more towards her. She groaned again and his face showed his immediate concern.

"Max? You okay baby?" he inquired quickly. Max started to nod her head, but thought better of it.

"Dizzy," was her clipped explanation. His lips formed a silent 'o' of understanding and he was careful not to jar her further as he waited for the expected surge of memory that was slowly becoming a familiar if not regularly scheduled part of their life. After about ten minutes, Alec lost patience.

"Anything?" he demanded gently. Max sighed again. "Sorry sweetie," he sighed along with her. He scooted up a little, not noticing her mild grimace and rearranged the pillows underneath his head. He leaned towards her once more. "Anyway, Merry Christmas," he whispered as he leaned in to brush his lips across hers. Max tamped down the riotous surge of ire she felt at her mind's stupidity in refusing her the return of her memories and let herself be swept away by her husband's knowing caress. Until she felt that tingle in her stomach again. And finally recognized it for what it truly was.

"Oh God," she managed to get out as she pushed Alec away. His eyes widened in confusion as she threw herself to the end of the bed, trying desperately to keep from being entangled in the sheets.

"What the hell?" he bit out as she rushed from the bedroom. Max dashed across the apartment, stark nude and not giving a damn about it. The entire Familiar army could be marching through her door at the moment and she wouldn't care less. She made it in time to empty the contents of her stomach, a new experience for her, since X5's did not routinely get sick. Even back in the days of Manticore, any viruses introduced to their systems were more likely to raise their temperature and tire them out. And Max cut off her mind's musings as they were leading her directly back to what she didn't want to think of. And that was this new form of communication between her insides and the toilet's. It was not a pleasant thought.

She heard Alec pop his head into the bathroom, expecting him to disappear just as quickly. For all he had seen and done in his life, he was always a little squeamish when it came to this aspect of life. Not that she blamed him at all. But apparently that wasn't the case anymore as he slipped in behind her to stroke her back soothingly. His large, warm hands felt good even as in direct opposition, the cool porcelain she now rested her cheek on felt even better.

"So, looks like someone had a wee too much of the spiked eggnog last night?" he teased; though his voice held a modicum of concern. Max tried to remember if she'd even touched the punch and then thinking of the drink ingredients, felt another wave of nausea.

"Shut up Alec," she ground out. His hand stilled as her stomach heaved again. He pulled away, but returned quickly to wrap her robe around her, pulling her hair back and away from her face. When finally her stomach stilled, she answered. "No I didn't have any eggnog. It didn't look good."

"But apparently you tried everything else the catering staff offered," he quipped as his nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Again, shut up!" Max growled, desperate not to think about food. Her hand reached to flush away the evidence. She would have tried to stand, but her legs felt slightly wobbly and Alec's comforting was just too sinfully sweet to pass up at that moment.

"I'm sorry babe," he whispered into her hair as she leaned against the outside of the bathtub. "Guess I'm into my 'humor as a cover-up for uncomfortable situation' mode, aren't I?" She nodded briefly, resting her head on his lap. Her eyes drifted shut, until Alec muttered that dreaded question. "So if it wasn't anything you ate, then what the hell is making you sick?" Max's head snapped up, her eyes clashing with his. "I mean, memory loss aside, you've been feeling crappy the last couple of weeks and now you're sick." His hand trembled slightly as he stroked her hair.

Max's mind whirled, putting together the events of the last few weeks. In fact, ever since she'd woken up. The dizziness, the fainting, being more tired than usual all the time. And now this, the latest event in an obvious string of progression. Morning sickness. Unconsciously a smile curved her lips upwards as she took in the implication, her hands straying to glide softly over her abdomen. Visions of a baby, Alec's baby danced in her mind.

"This isn't good," Alec's voice pulled her back to reality. "I don't care if it's Christmas. I'm calling Carr back from wherever the hell he's gone so that he can check you out."

"Alec," Max whispered, her hand still curled protectively over her stomach. But his eyes were still slightly wild, concerned over her welfare. She tried again. "Alec!" He glanced down at her, seemingly confused by her smiling face and dancing eyes. He shook his head slightly and her grin grew. "I think I'm pregnant."

His reaction was not at all what she had expected. Well, maybe slightly. The blood disappearing from his face was forgivable. The return of the trembling hands. Understandable. But the 'no' was not at all what any wife wanted to hear over such happy news. Nor did any wife want her husband to flee. Which was precisely what he did. Despite the grumbling of her still unhappy stomach, Max chased after him, relieved that he'd only gone so far as the living room. Pacing the length of limited space, Alec thrust his hands into his hair.

"No!" Max demanded somewhat angrily. "What do you mean 'no'?" Her ire was deflated when he finally turned to her, moisture welling in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Maxie," he whispered brokenly. He inhaled deeply, trying to bring himself back under control as she stood before him, her hands on her hips.

"Sorry about what Alec?" she taunted, her feelings hurt deeply in spite of his obvious distress. "Sorry that you don't want to have a baby? With me?" If possible he paled even further, striding forward to capture her hands.

"No damn it," he swore vehemently. "That's not it at all. I want a baby Max. We want one. It's just…"

"Just what Alec?" she demanded, softening her tone a little. Alec's shoulders slumped, his grip tightening on her. He tugged her towards the sofa, pulling her as close to him as he possibly could.

"Do you remember," he began softly, his eyes unable to meet hers, "when we went out for dinner and then up to the Needle?" She nodded. It had been a new start for them, for her. "And you remember… the secret?" Her mouth opened as she most certainly did remember and then, instantly realizing what he was referring to, snapped it shut again. "I'm so sorry Maxie. But this is it." He paused, as if gauging her possible reaction. "Its… doubtful. That we'll ever have kids, I mean."

Max stared at him for a full minute, trying to digest this news. Not have kids? Where the hell had that come from? Had they tried before? Had she been pregnant before and something went wrong? She ducked her head, the possibilities near to overwhelming her. But inside, none of that felt right. Putting the questions to herself silently, she touched on each emotion playing through her. She knew, without a doubt, she'd never been pregnant before. Just as she was convinced that she was now. It was the only thing that made sense.

"No," she spoke, her voice firm. "I won't accept that."

"But Max-!" Alec tried before she cut him off.

"I don't care what happened in the past," she enunciated carefully. "About what we may have been told, or thought. I'm pregnant." Alec sighed, slumping back against the cushions. Max raised a single eyebrow, as if daring him to challenge her assertion. And finally he did.

"Maxie, you don't remember the whole story," he pointed out.

"So enlighten me."

His hand reached out to cup her cheek. "Max, your last heat was just a couple months ago," he explained. "You didn't get pregnant then, when the chances between transgenics are over 96. So I highly doubt that you're pregnant now."

"Heat!" Max centered on that immediately. It was more of a shock to her than being pregnant was. "I've been in heat recently?" Alec gaped at her for a second before nodding. "Wait, my last heat? How many times have I been in heat?"

"Twice."

"Damn," Max breathed out shakily. She was starting to slightly reconsider her desire to know about the past, especially when bombshells like this came along. Going through heat three times a year was one of the hardest things she'd ever endured in her life. With all the procedures she'd endured at Manticore the second time around, she'd figured that they found a way to fix that unexpected anomaly. "Wait, two heats in how long?"

"Uh, since you blew up the old alma mater," Alec grimaced. Max was shaking her head.

"This doesn't make any sense," she argued with herself. "Why would I suddenly start going into heat again, when I hadn't for so long? And another thing, 96 is not 100 Alec. It's simply close to perfect." She rolled her eyes at her naivete. Nothing related to Manticore was simple.

"True," he conceded. "But well, as to the other, Doc came up with a theory," Alec offered. His hand reached for hers. She let her hand rest in his, their thumbs dueling unintentionally with the other for comfort stroking rights. "It seems everything started with your recapture by Manticore." When she would have questioned, he held up his free hand, indicating for her to let him tell it all before she interrupted. "The first problem was your heart transplant. Even though you were healthy and Zack's heart was healthy, there was still the strain of the operation. You said yourself that it took you a little while to get back up to par. And then a little while longer to get back up to transgenic standards. Renfro's punishments didn't help in that respect at all." He took a deep breath and continued. "And then there was the virus."

"What about it?" she whispered. "It's cured."

"But think about it Max," Alec urged. "Yeah, we're immune to common bio-warfare bugs and common illnesses. But how do we stay that way?"

"Manticore gave us the antibodies in our genetic code," she recalled. Alec nodded.

"Right," he confirmed. "But to activate them, we had to be infected with the virus or whatever it was. The problem was that you had run-ins with Logan's skin more than once. Your body had to continually produce those antibodies. And regardless of our stamina, it began to wear on you after a while. In fact, Doc figured that's why you were so depressed that year. Until we cured the virus."

"Well hell," Max gasped. "That makes a weird sort of sense. 'Cause I wasn't always so… so…"

"Yeah, so I was told," he smiled momentarily at her. "Anyway, the heart transplant, combined with your body working overtime to fight off the virus, plus all the running around and fighting and rescuing you were doing managed to suppress your heats."

She took a moment to absorb that. "Ah, kind of like an anemic ordinary who starts skipping her period because her body is so run down?" Alec blushed a little, his mouth trying to twist into an amused smirk.

"Yeah, I wouldn't know anything about that," he murmured. Max tilted her head to the side.

"Mmhmm," she grinned. "Yeah, living with women for the majority of my life, you find out that not many subjects are taboo." She thought back a moment, on the comparison she'd just made. Anemic ordinaries were not something she generally had anything in common with. Until now, taking her little vitamins, like Doc had told her to do. Her eyes went huge and she jumped off the couch. Alec remained were he was, though his puzzling eyes followed her scurrying progression to the cupboard by the sink.

Max slammed open the cupboard door, her hand reaching past the glasses to reach the bottle of pills that she'd taken faithfully since they'd procured them. She looked closely at the label, which she'd glanced at before, never worrying beyond the fact that they were what Dc had said to take. Now she read the fine print. _'…provides 100 of daily vitamins required by neonatal women'_. It was almost as if a ripple went through her, an extreme wave of relief. She spun around and threw the bottle to Alec, who snagged it easily.

"So explain that," she smiled proudly. Alec glanced down at the bottle. "The small print," she clarified. He did so and shrugged helplessly.

"So it's the same stuff," he began, but Max was on a roll. She hurried over to the counter, searching anew. "But Max, that doesn't prove anything sweetie. Doc gave you these for general purposes. Not because-!"

"Think about it Alec," she half-yelled over his voice. "Why the hell would I be going into heat if I couldn't get pregnant?"

"We weren't sure," he sighed. "Doc was looking into it, but you didn't want to go in for any invasive procedures this quick. Which would have been the only option." He moved to stand next to her as her fingers dug through a drawer that they'd been using for accumulated junk.

"But it was never anything conclusive, was it?" she demanded, digging through the pile of papers surrounded by bits and pieces that had no other home in their apartment. Finally she found what she was looking for. The manila envelope Doc had given her. Taking a deep breath, she pulled out the sheaf of papers once more. Her hands were shaking now that she was so close to what she hoped was a definitive answer. Something more than just feelings and suppositions. For although she believed it so completely herself, nothing less than a blood test result would convince her husband. A blood test that Doc probably ran all that time ago.

Max flipped through the first few sheets, letting them slide to the counter in her search. And when she at last came to the test result, she felt light-headed. _'Pregnancy: positive. Estimated fetal age: two weeks.'_ Max stared blankly down at the page. She'd been pregnant when she woke up. She was pregnant now. She was six weeks pregnant. She moistened her lips slowly, raising her eyes to meet Alec. Her lips trembled into a smile.

"So I take it we had a really special night about six weeks or so ago," she hinted. Alec's eyebrows furrowed and Max turned the page around for him to see. She watched the emotions play over his face as he took in the information, the same as she had. "I am pregnant," she stressed quietly, resisting the urge to laugh and shout 'I told you so!' to his face. Just the completely dumbfounded expression stunning his face into immobility was enough. Shakily, he reached out to take the paper from her. She gave it over to him, her hand moving to his back, rubbing over the base of his spine.

He turned his head from the page, finally, searching her face. Max knew exactly what he was thinking. It was hard enough that she'd woken up with no memory of her husband, a man that for all she knew, barely qualified in the friend category. Well, that he knew. And now there was a pregnancy to contend with. Not something that this Max was even thinking of. His Max was ready, willing and apparently eager to get on with it, judging from what he'd said. So how did she go about convincing him that she was just as happy about the tiny life now growing in her? She felt giddy at just the thought as her other hand once again cradled her belly protectively.

Alec's eyes dropped down to that hand, his own reaching out to cover hers. The hopeful yearning in his eyes told her everything. She smiled up at him, feeling as if the purity of joy that ran through her was beckoning him. Urging him to join her in the bliss of instinctual rightness of the moment. And as he let his breath out in a soft whoosh, and his fingers coaxed her apart so that he could tangle his fingers with hers, she knew he understood.

Before either could speak, a knock sounded at their door. Max grimaced, as the spell over them was broken. Alec sighed and turned his head, while Max stepped away to rearrange her robe to more fully cover her nude body underneath.

"Who is it?" Alec called out.

"Uh, its Joshua," the answer came, rather hesitantly. They both grinned, knowing how much the big dog man enjoyed the holidays. Max had a quick impression that Joshua had probably been up for hours, just counting down the seconds until he could politely visit his friends to exchange gifts with them. Alec moved forward to open the door, greeting the larger man with a brilliant grin.

"Hey Josh, come on in," he invited. Joshua looked hesitantly at them.

"Not too early?" he asked carefully, inquiring of both of them.

"No it's fine big fella," Max grinned. "We've been up for a little while." She watched as he turned back to lug in the present he'd made for them. Covered over in black cloth, with a large red bow tied around an upper corner, she wondered what Alec would think of it. She was eager herself to see the finished product. The transgenics and transhumans had agreed to get together later in the morning to exchange gifts, but personal gifts, such as this were better for at home.

"Merry Christmas Josh," Alec smiled as he clapped a hand on Joshua's shoulder.

"Merry Christmas Alec," he replied. Then turned to his best friend. "Merry Christmas Max."

"Merry Christmas big fella," she returned, moving over to give him a hug. He returned it gently, then stepped back to gesture at the gift he'd leaned against the wall.

"Your gift," he said simply. Alec moved to wrap his arm around Max's waist.

"Thanks big guy. But I already got the only gift I'll need today."

"Oh?" Surprisingly, there wasn't a hint of disappointment on Joshua's face at Alec's statement. He looked at them, more expectantly than anything. Max shared a glance with her husband and at his imperceptible nod, turned to face her friend again.

"I'm pregnant," she burst out, unable to keep this from him, like everything else in her life. Joshua beamed at them, shaking his head.

"Joshua knows," he agreed happily.

"You know?" Alec chuckled. "How could you already know. We just found out for sure a few minutes ago."

Joshua tapped his nose. "Smelled it. When Max and Alec come get me from infirmary."

"What?" Max demanded, her eyes going wide. That had been weeks ago. Joshua had known even back then.

"You smelled it?" Alec chimed in, incredulously. Joshua nodded again.

"Joshua knew something was different about Max," he chuckled himself.

"Oh my God," Max moaned, hiding her face in her hands. "That's what you meant. You had no idea that I didn't remember. You were talking about me being pregnant." There was vigorous head nodding on the dog man's part.

"And when you told me that when she told me I'd be very happy?" Alec tried to clarify. Again Joshua nodded, grinning like a madman. Alec held his hand up as if trying to gesticulate his frustration over the absurdity of the situation. It wasn't working. His hand dropped to his side.

"Okay, so you knew already," Max bit her lower lip. "That's okay. I just wish you'd have told me sooner."

"Why?" Joshua asked. "Doc said you knew." Alec's eyes widened as he spun around to Max, the amusement plain for the others to see.

"That's right," he crowed. "You told Doc that you already knew what was wrong with you. And he told you to tell me. But he didn't know that you had lost your memory. He thought you already knew you were pregnant. And after what he told us before, he was probably wondering why the hell you wouldn't tell me." Max shook her head as she tried to keep up with his verbal sprinting. All it accomplished was to make her slightly dizzy again. She groped around behind her, feeling for the counter and once finding it, leaning back against it for support.

"What a mess," she finally laughed. "Yeah, he probably thought I was crazy for keeping such good news from you." They shared a tender look until Joshua spoke up again.

"Tina thought so," he informed them. Both their heads swiveled around again.

"Tina knew?" Max screeched. Joshua grinned at her. "How? How did she know?"

"Max have cravings," he stated with one shrug of his shoulders. "Tina and Gem talk about it a lot."

"Gem knows too," Max huffed, her voice seeming weaker by the moment.

"Well, she had Angie," Alec conceded, "Makes sense that she knows the early warning signs." Joshua's agreement came quietly.

"Do you know what that means then?" Max giggled. "Every transgenic either pregnant or with a child knows about me."

"Their mates too," Joshua voiced helpfully. Max closed her eyes, her head sinking down as her shoulders shook with silent mirth. Alec stepped before her, his hands running up and down her arms comfortingly. "We are such idiots!" she finally gasped out. She looked up to see the surprised look her husband wore. "Everybody knew I was pregnant but us!" Luckily he saw the humor in her statement immediately and began to laugh along with her.

"Not Cindy!" Joshua piped up as the pair hugged. Max's eyes shot up to Alec's and they both smiled.

"We can tell her later, at the party," he promised. She nodded and rested her head on his chest. There was a moment of silence between the three as they all basked in the sweet moment.

"Joshua going to go," the other man announced. Max pulled away from her husband's embrace reluctantly.

"Oh, let me get your present for you then," she said, but Joshua shook his head.

"Bring it later, to the party," he decided. "Max and Alec need alone time now. Besides, have to go see Angie."

"Okay man," Alec nodded as Joshua headed out the door. "Thanks!" The door swung shut and the couple turned back to one another. "Hmm, alone time. Sounds like an interesting idea. What do ya say?" His eyes darkened as his hands encircled her waist again, drawing her closer.

"That sounds like something I'm very interested in," she murmured back. Alec leaned down to capture her lips, but before he could, she'd wriggled out of his embrace. "Just one thing though Alec."

"Yeah?" he whispered huskily.

"I'd think we both would appreciate it if I brushed my teeth first." His loud chuckle followed her all the way into the bathroom.


	23. A Little Something To Tell Ya

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

Chapter Twenty-three

A Little Something To Tell Ya

__

Christmas Morning

Alec stood in the doorway of the bathroom, simply watching her. Max rinsed her mouth out for a final time, a smile lighting up her face in response to the enigmatic one on his face. "What?" she finally asked as she shoved her toothbrush back into the Mason jar. Alec straightened up a little and held a hand out to her.

"It's nothing," he murmured, pulling her close so that he could wrap his arms around her. "I was just thinking."

"Thinking what?" she asked softly, hesitantly. The morning had been full of mercurial moments and feelings and it was barely eight o'clock. Alec lifted on hand to brush her hair away from her face.

"It's just that every morning," he began slowly, "as soon as I see your face, I think to myself how amazing it is that you're even more beautiful than you were the day before."

Max felt a sigh coming on at the sweet sentiment. She sucked her lower lip in, chewing on it slightly as she mulled over his words. They were wonderful and obviously heartfelt. The only problem was, after this morning's upheaval; she wasn't feeling very beautiful. She wrinkled her nose up a little; about to reply to him when he spoke again, his hands tightening slightly on her waist.

"But this morning, you aren't just beautiful," he amended. "You're transcendent." Max couldn't help the giggle that fell from her lips. Alec smiled at her reaction. It probably wasn't what he'd been imagining. Max glanced back at the toilet and shrugged, then turned her face back to her husband.

"I don't really feel it," she argued lightly. Alec followed her glance, seeming to understand what she meant.

"It's not you face, your body or all the genetics in the world," he chuckled, stroking her hip. "I just don't know what it is," he trailed off softly as Max regarded him thoughtfully. Alec had never had many opportunities to have his dreams come true. Certainly he'd never yearned to be an assassin or a cage fighter. She didn't think that it was the secret wish of his heart to be the leader of a nation of freaks that had been despised by almost all. Here now was something that maybe he'd dreamed of and hoped for. And it was her body housing the fulfillment. It was an awesome thought and she felt a little teary.

"I love you," she whispered tremulously. Alec rested his cheek on her tangled hair; his hand moving from her hip to her back as it continued its steady motion of comfort.

"And I love you, so much more right now than I ever thought possible," he murmured back. Max smiled into his chest. If he loved her more, then she could only wonder how he would express it. Because the last month had been more than she dreamed, even with all the problems that cropped up between them.

"Alec," she sighed, hating to pull away from his embrace. But there was something she wanted much more. He lifted his head and leaned back a little to look at her, the unspoken response in his eyes. "Make love to me?" she asked in a soft voice. The crooked little smug grin that she loved on him made an appearance. And she couldn't help responding with her own.

"You sure?" he grimaced slightly, hastening to explain himself at the quirk of her eyebrow. "I mean, I just don't want to do anything… you know, smush the baby or anything." Max smothered a giggle. Why on earth was that always the first thought on men's minds? He hadn't yet, so why was he asking now?

"You know, aside from the obvious reasons," she spoke conspiratorially, "of physical prowess and killer looks, there's a reason why I have the body I do."

"Oh really?" the twinkle in his eyes deepened as he played along with her. "And what would that be."

"Yeah, see there's this really neat pattern to my body," Max went on, her own fingers tracing a distracted pattern over his chest. "There's this layer of skin and then a thin layer of fat tissue. And then even another layer of muscle and on and on." Alec chuckled, obviously seeing what she was getting at. "All the way down to where the baby is. So believe me, you start squishing us, I'll be the first to let you know." He laughed outright at that.

"You sure?" he echoed teasingly, staying her hand's meandering path by lifting it to his mouth. "Cause there have been times that you liked me… squishing you."

"Believe me Alec," Max grunted. "I'll tell you if something's wrong."

"As long as you're sure," he decided, the amusement changing slightly, deepening his voice. Max felt a small thrill run through her that they were so in synch now. Their moods just seemed to bounce off one another, complimenting, exaggerating, and bolstering each other. Alec's actions cut off Max's silent musings when he swung her up into his arms. Max responded automatically, wrapping her arms around his chest, her fingers clutching at the supple muscles underneath. There was a brief moment of panic, as her stomach roiled uncontrollably. But it settled quickly, after Max forcibly reminded herself that there was nothing left to be ill over. She pushed the thought from her mind with a note to herself to mention it to Alec later. She didn't want anything to spoil the moment.

Alec carried her gently back into the bedroom, even as his lips sought hers. She tilted her head back, feeling a slight languorous, drowsy ease steal over her. She felt light-headed as she felt her back make contact with the bed. Alec never broke contact with her, aligning his body beside hers. Max continued to stroke his chest as he rumbled his approval, deep in his throat. Their tongues entwined, their hands joined, they spent long moments drinking each other in.

Alec shook his fingers loose from hers as he pulled his head back. Max just waited, content to let him be in control. With an endearing smile, he reached for the tie of her robe, easing the knot loose. He spread the fabric wide, his eyes roaming her body hungrily. Max watched him watching her, bemused as his eyes lingered over her stomach. A trembling finger traced the slight curve that adorned all women. Alec glanced up at her.

"I can still hardly believe it," he whispered. She nodded. Apparently she was not alone in her feelings of awe. She held her arms out to him and he came very willingly.

__

Christmas, mid-morning

"Oh my God!" Max exclaimed, sitting up suddenly. Alec followed the motion, but slower.

"What is it?" he asked, his voice tinged with worry and anticipation at the same time. "You're not gonna throw up again, are you?" he asked desperately, his face twisting up with the thought. Max absently shook her head.

"Case," she explained in short tones. She turned to face her husband.

"What about him?" Alec went from mild disgust to mild puzzlement.

"His gift," she replied, realizing that her answers weren't very explanatory. But he seemed to get the drift. He tilted his head back and reached behind himself to rearrange his pillow.

"We got him a couple of things," he informed her. "And you mailed them two months ago so that they'd get there in plenty of time. Charlie has them wrapped and they brought them with them when they moved. He's probably playing with them right now."

"Oh," Max deflated a little. They'd never spoken of Case's gifts, just the things they'd already chosen for their friends. They'd had a few shopping excursions for others and Max had gone shopping with Cindy for her husband. And judging by the little pile of presents under the tree of theirs that she didn't recognize, Alec had found a little time too. But if they'd included everyone else in their lives, it stood to reason that she wouldn't forget her nephew. Hell, even Logan had been included. After a little deliberation, they'd decided to send him a new system upgrade for his computer, along with Dix and companies recently developed spyware. Max almost giggled aloud at the simple thought of his geekish enthusiasm when he opened that present.

"And we got Charlie some tools he'll need for work," Alec continued. Max nodded.

"Okay," she sighed, as she swung her legs over the bed, reaching once more for her robe. "Since that's taken care of, I'm gonna go shower." Alec sat up again quickly, a slight pout on his face.

"But… presents!" he said so hopefully that Max almost wanted to cuddle him like a child. She smirked; wondering how early maternal instincts kicked in.

"But I thought you said you already got your best present today," she reminded him in silky sweet tones, while tying her sash. He rolled his eyes at her. Which luckily for him, she was beginning to find more endearing than annoying.

"Yeah," he whined again, "but… presents. They are like icing on the cake," he muttered, gesturing abstractedly at her stomach.

"And they can't wait five minutes while I shower?" she teased. It looked as if he was going to continue pleading, but suddenly changed tactics. He shrugged and moved to get off the bed as well.

"That's fine," he sighed. "I just thought you'd want to open the gifts I got you. I was excited about it. But it doesn't really matter."

Max was fully aware of his attempt to prove that he could indeed manipulate her. This time by working on her curiosity and guilt. But it only worked when she didn't see it coming. She moved to stand in front of him, leaning against his shoulder. His arms came up automatically.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "It's just that it's already been an eventful morning. I just wanted to take a few minutes, get back into routine. You know everything just changed again and I needed some time to do something that's completely normal and completely me. Something where I don't have to think about all the changes. Shower seemed like the perfect thing 'cause I always have a shower in the morning." She hid her smile as he went perfectly still.

"You're happy about this, right?" he asked carefully. Max snuggled a little closer into him.

"Deliriously so," she sighed happily. "I just feel strange again." She pulled back and giggled at him. "You know, it's not every day you discover that a mini-me has taken up residence in your body."

Alec sighed too, although he didn't look quite as apprehensive as before. So Max got her shower, complete with back-scrubber and a good-natured argument on whether the baby would be a mini-her or a mini-him.

__

Christmas, noon

"Quiet! Max and Alec here!" Joshua shouted when Max and Alec finally made their way into headquarters shortly before lunch. They'd heard the noise of the revelers from over a block away. Almost as soon as they'd walked out of their apartment building. The noise tapered off, as people finished their conversations and turned towards the newcomers. Max's eyes were slightly wild at Joshua's next pronouncement. "Quiet! Max and Alec have announcement!"

Max and Alec exchanged bewildered glances. After some quick discussion earlier, they'd decided to take Original Cindy and Sketchy aside and share their news. It wasn't as if the rest of TC needed to hear it, seeing how most of the older folks knew, or had guessed. But all the faces were waiting expectantly. Alec gave a quick jerk of his head, as if to say, 'you tell them'. Max just as quickly shook her head. Alec chewed at his lower lip. They couldn't very well demure at the moment. He heaved a sigh and turned to the crowd.

"As some of you may already know," he spoke in a ringing voice, so that his words carried throughout the room, "Max is pregnant." He couldn't say anymore for the cheers that had broken out. They did hear Mole's caustic "about time!" But anything else from the transhuman was drowned out by Original Cindy's excited squeal.

The black woman threw herself at her best friend, having catapulted out of her seat. Max had seconds only to brace herself from the flurry. Cindy hugged her around the shoulders tightly and Max could see Sketchy following at a more sedate pace. He shook Alec's hand and offered his own words, even as O.C. rocked her boo back and forth, her exuberance pouring forth.

"Oh Original Cindy is just so happy for the pair of ya," she crowed. She finally let Max loose and pulled back to regard her friend. Apparently she was satisfied with what she saw, because she gave a small nod and turned to Alec. "And you! Better not let Original hearin' ya go on and on about what a stud ya are. It takes two to make a baby boo, ya hear?"

"I wouldn't dream of it Cindy," Alec promised with a solemn face. Sketchy covered his own snigger with an extremely fake sounding cough. Cindy spun around to fix her stern eye on him and he held up his hands in supplication.

"Do I get a turn now?" he asked in mock whining tones. Cindy fought a smile and stepped aside. Max was swept up in her other friend's embrace as he whispered in her ear, "Congratulations Max. It couldn't have happened to better people."

"Thanks Sketch," she murmured back as he released her. Sketchy turned to the crowd.

"Anybody else got any good news to add?" he yelled. "May as well have all the reason we can to party!" There was silence for a moment and then he threw a hand up in the air. "So let's rock!" Everyone laughed at his enthusiasm and someone turned on some Christmas music. Cindy pulled Max and Alec to the table they'd been sitting at and conversation and good cheer continued.

"Yo Mole!" Dalton yelled out from across the room. "Break out the eggnog!"

"Oh crap," Alec muttered as he eyed Max's suddenly green countenance. "He just had to say that, didn't he?"

__

January 3rd

The phone rang, thankfully quiet as Max emerged from the bathroom. She padded on bare feet over to the counter, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Six-thirty a.m. bathroom calls were not appreciated, no matter how much or little sleep she required now. She answered the phone in mid-ring, keeping an ear alert for Alec, who she'd left slumbering. There were a few mumbles and groans, but it didn't sound like he was getting up.

"Hello?" she asked, her voice gravelly from the early hour.

"Hey Max," came Doc's familiar voice. "I'm sorry about calling so early, but I thought you'd want to know." Max glanced at the clock, noting that she'd been puttering around for a while, since it was nearly seven now. She yawned and rubbed at her eyes.

"Know what?" she muttered, trying to perk herself up. She wasn't doing very well.

"I called Dr. Carr's office last night," Doc prompted. Max blinked a few times, recalling that Doc and Alec had wanted her to see Dr. Carr about her memory loss. Apparently, despite the few recalls she'd had, that was still a go.

"And?"

"He was delayed getting back," Doc informed her. "But the nurse assured me he'd be in this morning. He's going to call at eight. I thought you and Alec would want to be in on that conversation."

"Darn right," Max muttered, finally coming awake enough to deal with Doc's news. "Why don't Alec and I meet you at my office at about quarter till?"

"Uh no offence," Doc chuckled, "but my chairs are more comfortable than yours. And I gave them my number, not yours."

"Oh all right," Max grumbled, giving in quickly, because it didn't really matter where they met. And though she wouldn't admit it aloud, Doc's chairs were comfy. "We'll see you at quarter to eight."

"Okay, see you at eight," Doc chuckled, thoroughly familiar with Max's lackadaisical timekeeping.

"Yeah, bye Dick," she muttered darkly.

"Uh, it's Doc," he corrected mildly.

"I know," and she hung up. She set the phone down and drew in a lungful of air. "Alec!"

__

January 3rd, 7:50 am

"It wasn't funny," Alec scolded as he opened the door to Doc's office after being invited to enter. Max continued to giggle intermittently.

"What's not funny?" Doc asked, his mouth already curving up at Max's infectious laughter. He watched her enter and collapse into one of the chairs, laughing hard enough that she was starting to wipe tears from her eyes.

Alec shut the door behind him and gestured at his wife. "Mommy to be here thought it was funny when she screamed at me this morning and scared the crap outta me."

"So funny!" Max gasped out. "Comforter… tripped." Doc immediately got the picture and smirked at the overwrought transgenic.

"Christ Maxie!" Alec exhaled sharply. "I thought something was seriously wrong."

Max tried to compose herself, smoothing her face into a repentant mask. "I'm sorry baby," she apologized; though it was far from completely sincere. "Forgive me?" she asked softly, staring up at him, fluttering her lashes just a little. Alec sighed heavily, before crossing over to her and dropping a kiss on her forehead.

"Only 'cause you're the mother of my child," he quipped.

"But you do have to admit it was hilarious as hell," she giggled again, then straightened in her chair. "And your child? Excuse me?"

Alec slumped down into the chair next to her as Doc looked on in fond amusement. "What?" Alec demanded lightly. "Somebody else been fathering children on you?"

"That's not what I meant smart ass," she growled at him. "I meant what about me? You know possession is nine tenths of the law."

"Very true," Alec smiled brightly. "You can possess the morning sickness. You can possess the weight gain. And you can possess the sore back, the swollen ankles, the need to pee every five minutes-!" He was cut off by Max's pained groan.

"Oh God," she moaned to Doc. "Is there any way you're equipped to do a transplant Doc?" He was saved from answering by Alec's continued wit.

"Oh sorry Maxie, but see, I just don't _possess_ the right equipment for that kind of thing."

"I didn't mean that," Max smiled at him. "But I'm starting to think a brain transplant is in order."

"Oh Maxie, you wound me," Alec sighed theatrically as he grabbed at her hand and pulled it to his lips to press a soft kiss against her knuckles.

"Ha!" she snorted. "If you want to keep sleeping in my bed, you will never mention swollen ankles again. Got it?"

"Understood ma'am," he twinkled at her. The repartee might have continued to flow, but the phone finally rang. Doc moved around his desk to answer, seating himself as he did.

"Hello?" There was a slight pause and then a quirky smile lit his face. "No, that's no problem Sam. They're right here, so I'll just switch to the speaker phone." He fiddled for a moment, setting the receiver back in its cradle. "You still there Sam?"

"Right here. Hey Max, Alec."

"Hey Dr. Carr," the couple chorused, throwing mildly amused glances at each other.

"So what's this I hear about Max losing her memory?"

Many long and embarrassing minutes later, Max had wrapped up her tale, with occasional comments from Alec and Doc thrown in. Dr. Carr seemed as surprised as the rest of them. But at least he had a workable theory, not dissimilar to Alec's first reaction to Max's headache that fateful morning.

"Well Max," Sam chuckled, "I was going to say 'remember when I told you", but I doubt you would."

"Remember what?" Max demanded testily. Alec had leaned across to rest his arm on the back of her chair. His thumb was now rubbing against her shoulder blade. Max squirmed a little, distracted by the soothing movement. Alec himself barely seemed to notice that he was doing it. Giving up her inner struggle over maintaining her ire or submitting to his caress, she leaned back into it. Alec just responded by adding in the rest of his fingers to the mix.

"After your accident last year, I warned both you and Logan that we'd have to be careful to avoid further head injuries," Sam went on, unperturbed by her mild outburst. "Although I didn't think you'd have a problem after six months."

"Why would another head injury be bad?" Alec spoke up, then glanced at Doc. "Aside from the obviousness badness that is a head injury."

"Well, let me give you an example. Twenty years ago, a colleague of mine saw a young man who'd had mild blunt trauma to his chest. He was hit by a basketball, if I recall correctly. Now last year, he began having chest pains. When my colleague took chest x-rays, it was discovered that the sac around his heart was bruised and he never fully recovered from it, thus giving him problems later in life."

"Yeah, but that doesn't really qualify," Doc argued. "For one, Max is an X5, who's been designed to heal rapidly and completely. Two, your example of an ordinary was a heart problem, not memory loss." He would have gone on but Sam broke in.

"Actually, it's similar in a way. Max received a trauma to her brain. Even as much as Manticore was able to do, the mind and memory is a very tricky thing. It could be something as simple as jostling her head while she was sleeping knocked a few wires loose that were initially damaged in the auto accident."

"But again," Alec interrupted this time, "she's an X5, she heals more rapidly than an ordinary."

"Not necessarily Alec," Dr. Carr countered gently. "You all know about Max's virus. She was still affected by it when the accident occurred. That made any healing she was doing from anything extremely slow. And if she were to constantly jar her head, or even shake it a little too vehemently, it might just re-initialize the damage, until it finally became too much."

"Making her lose her memory completely," Doc concluded. There was an air of resignation hanging about the room.

"Well, what about doing that CT scan, like I asked?" Alec piped up.

"Actually, there are a couple reasons why I wouldn't recommend that at this point," Sam answered easily. "First and foremost is because of Max's pregnancy. While the scan would only be of her head, let's not risk that until a last resort."

Max was nodding along with him. "Definitely," she agreed. "And the other reason?"

"Well, you said so yourself. You've been having little flashes. Remembering things, memories being triggered by association with items or events."

"And that's definitely good, right?" Alec's voice was quietly anxious. Max threw him a glance, recognizing his need for comfort as well. She leaned her head against his shoulder, her hand reaching to squeeze his knee gently. He smiled quickly down at her, before turning his attention back to the telephone.

"Well, it's certainly encouraging," Sam chuckled. "Without doing a full exam myself, I can't give you any certainties. But hopefully this trend will continue until Max has most or all of her memories back. But I feel I should warn you-!"

"Oh how did I know this was coming?" Max muttered under her breath, rolling her eyes.

"Just a precaution Max," Sam soothed her. "There is a chance you might never recover any more than you already have."

"Thanks," Max quipped sarcastically. "I'll remember that." Doc choked back a muffled laugh while Alec shook his head.

They ended the phone call, with Sam giving them a warning list of any symptoms of further deterioration to watch for. And an invitation to come in for a check-up, pre-natal and otherwise when she was ready. Doc hung up the phone again; making sure the line was disconnected, then leaned back in his chair. Max was shifting restlessly in her chair as she'd done intermittently for the last fifteen minutes.

"So I guess that's that, huh?" he asked of her. She glanced up at him.

"No that's not it," she grimaced at him. Alec cocked his head to the side to regard her. "I don't care what the hell Sam says. I'm getting my memory back!"

"That's my girl," Alec said proudly, winking at Doc. The other transgenic seemed to do a double take.

"Yeah, you know what?" Doc was nodding slowly. The couple shrugged, unable for once to follow the rationale. "I think you're right Max. I think you will fully recover." He turned to Alec. "Have you noticed that she's just like our old Maxie. That's a really good sign. Or bad, depending on who you are and how badly you've pissed her off."

Alec laughed and then pulled a grimace. "Guess I'd better break out the battle armor then, huh?"

"Just the cup dear," Max replied sweetly, patting his cheek. "Just the cup." Alec followed her downward glance and gulped.


	24. Let The Past Be The Past

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

AN: I just realized that I made a mistake in one of the earlier chapters. The date of Max and Alec's wedding should have been February 28th, 2022. I've gone back and fixed that so that the timeline gels.

Chapter Twenty-four

Let The Past Be The Past

__

March 28th, 2023

Max hurried along to the perimeter as quickly as she could. The ever-increasing need for sleep was screwing up her schedule. She glanced at the watch on her wrist, debating on whether or not to flat out run. She was sure she'd have a few minutes still. She turned the corner, the fence and gate coming into sight. She sighed with relief that only the guards were present. But she still picked up the pace a little.

Realizing that she needn't think up excuses now, her mind returned to the conversation she'd had with Alec last night. Actually it was more like a series of conversations. After work was done for the day, if she even went in, they'd discuss the past. Or more specifically, her past. The seventeen month time gap that she still hadn't recovered. There were days when she feared deeply that Dr. Carr was right after all. That she would never fully retrieve her memories. And then a flash would come along, prompting a vague memory.

Alec had finally given in a few weeks after their initial consultation with Carr. She'd been frustrated with her mind and raging hormones and had thrown one of his strewn about boots at his head. It had missed narrowly. Whether from her now accepted desire not to hurt him, or the anger marring her aim, she couldn't decide. But he'd told her hesitantly, carefully, the things she was grasping for. And now it had become almost habit. She would have a flash of memory, then in the evening, in the privacy of their home Alec would fill her in on the barest details. Still always hoping that she'd remember more on her own. But she never did anymore. She never moved beyond a brief flash.

So that was how she'd come to learn of the details of Rianne's death. The major fight that she and Alec had had after their marriage that prompted her to leave Terminal City and seek refuge with Cindy. Only to discover that she'd gone into heat the first time in forever while she was on the outside. Away from Alec. And how Alec, just as angry, had accepted a mission, taking him away from his irate wife. Rianne had come to her aide, to help Cindy help Max through her cycle, which had hit her hard. On the last day, Max had decided that she was safe enough to return to TC. The males knew well enough to leave mated females in heat well alone.

The only problem was that White had happened upon them by luck. And Max's mind was slightly befuddled still and she hadn't reacted quickly enough. The bullet that would have taken her in the shoulder went straight into Rianne's chest as she protected her leader. Alec had told her that Rianne had continued to fight, giving Max the chance to flee. At least, that's what he'd been told.

Those evenings were also how she discovered that the group of X6's she'd sat with in the All Nighter had lost a member. The littlest of them in stature, if not age, Remy by name, had been on a mission when Manticore had blown. But she'd arrived at TC just a few days after the rest of her small unit. There'd been plenty of rejoicing by the kids when she'd appeared, her pixie like face lit up in a cool smirk. And it was because of that calm, collected manner, and mission status that Remy had already had, that Max and Alec had chosen her for one of the many recon missions TC inhabitants were pulling. Of course, with White's interference, the mission had gone sideways.

What should have been a simple in and out to gather information had turned into an all out lesson in never letting your guard down. While Remy had been the only loss that day, she'd managed to warn the rest of the team, saving their unexpecting asses. Her loss was felt heavily all over their community for weeks on end. When Alec had told her about this, Max had been amazed that JK, Chas, Dizzy and Mort were as friendly to her as they were. She would have hated the person that had assigned her sister to go to her death. Alec had simply shrugged. In Manticore, they were used to people not coming back.

The conversations weren't always bad. For instance, the evening that Max had finally convinced Alec that if he wanted a repeat performance or what he'd so ardently enjoyed her doing before, he'd have to tell her. She'd expected something along the lines of what he'd told her. How his taunting about her undercover skills had prompted her to prove herself by giving him the lap dance of his lifetime. Of course, once he'd gotten into that memory, details had inadvertently slipped out. Remembering their lovemaking that night, Max mused that maybe it had been a little more deliberate than she gave him credit for.

Those evenings also led to the discovery of what little celebration had resulted in her pregnancy. November fifteenth, 2021 had been the anniversary of the day the denizens of Terminal City had received the right to go into the courthouses of Seattle and receive their brand new, government approved Terminal City of Seattle residency cards. It had also been the day Alec had proposed. He'd wanted to make it legal, binding and acknowledged by more than just their own kind. According to Alec, Max had surprised him by saying yes. Because his approach hadn't been at all conventional. Something along the lines of dragging her down to the short line of citizens waiting and filling out forms for marriage licenses. And getting into line himself.

Max came back to the present as one of the guards said hello. She responded in kind, then greeted the other. She glanced at her watch again, noting that Charlie must be running a little late. But a few minutes only as she saw the pair sauntering down the street. Case was running short spurts ahead of his father, eager for another school day to begin. Then he'd stop and wait for his amused father to catch up. Finally they made it to the gate.

"Hey Auntie Max," Case called excitedly as he handed his backpack to the guards. This was a now familiar daily routine to the boy. The guard gave the contents a cursory glance, then handed it back to the child as Charlie caught up.

"Hey big guy," Max smiled back. Case turned to his father and hugged him tightly around the middle.

"See you tonight Dad," the little boy enthused. Charlie hugged him back with his arms; his hands full of his own lunch box and tool kit for work.

"Have a good day son," Charlie chuckled. He glanced up at Max. "I'll see you guys tonight."

"Seven o'clock as usual," Max quipped with a nod. She held out her hand for Case and the boy slipped his own into hers. They set off to the TC school while Charlie headed off to his job. Max was glad that the idea of Case attending their school had panned out. It was a joy to see her nephew every weekday and sometimes on weekends. As Case had definitely inherited Tinga's immunity to the biotoxins, it made the occasional sleepover possible. And there was a big bonus that Alec enjoyed spending time with the Case and the kids that Case had made friends with.

Max barely had to ask Case what they were doing in school that day, before the little chatterbox was racing off. This time with words instead of feet. He told her about the fight that had broken out yesterday, between some older kids, again. About the science project they were starting today. His favorite subject of math. They continued to walk, with Max listening with pleasure.

Until the first little twinge in her stomach. She stumbled a little, surprise hitting her. Case came to a halt beside her as her other hand came up to cover the small mound where the baby protruded. His voice faltered as he stared up at her, concerned. Max waited and within seconds the feeling came again.

"Auntie Max?" his voice was quivering with worry. Max forced her face into a grin.

"Case, can you do me a favor?" she asked. He nodded his little face solemn. "Run over to headquarters and find Uncle Alec. Then bring him back here, okay?" Case nodded and ran to do her bidding. Max watched him for a moment. _'He's almost blurring.'_ She thought with amusement. But her mind quickly turned back to the internal.

Her hand skimmed lightly over her abdomen, but there was nothing. "Come on baby," she whispered. "Do it again." She waited for several tense minutes. "Do it for Mommy." She was rewarded then with another gentle flutter, which made her laugh.

After noticing several people watching her from the buildings and across the street, she gave a jaunty wave and continued walking, this time towards HQ. She'd have to head Alec and Case off. But she'd barely taken ten steps when she saw them returning.

Alec's face was a mask of concern. He didn't seem to worry about Case keeping up with him. Although the kid was trying valiantly to. Alec reached Max, his hands reaching for her arms. "What is it? What's wrong?" His eyes were jumping between scanning hers, and then looking for evidence that something had befallen her.

"It's okay Alec," she assured him as his eyes snapped back up to hers. "We're okay." Case finally caught up and she included him, smiling down at him. "Thank you Case."

"You're okay Auntie Max?" he asked in a small voice. Max ruffled his hair.

"Sure am big guy," she nodded, then looked up again at her husband. "I just felt the baby move for the first time." The change in his features was indescribable. It was as if everything had softened. Alec let go of one of her arms and moved his hand down to her stomach. It trembled a little until Max pressed it firmly over the mound. She bit her lip a quick second before she reached out for Case as well. Alec grinned down at the kid, whose little face was screwed up in concentration.

The trio waited quietly until Case finally pulled his hand away. "That's real nice," he said simply. Max laughed.

"The baby hasn't moved yet sweetie," she explained to him. He frowned at her stomach. "Do you want to feel it?"

"No, that's okay," he shrugged. Max didn't worry over it. He'd never shown much interest in his coming cousin. She figured that it wouldn't be real to him until she'd actually delivered the child. She turned her attention back to Alec, who was still patiently waiting. Then finally, "there! Did you feel that?"

Alec grimaced. "No," he muttered disgustedly. He kept his hand where it was though. Max sighed and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Sorry," she murmured. "Doc did say you might not be able until a few days after me."

"I know," Alec muttered impatiently, still pressing his fingers against her, waiting. The baby moved again, but by the lack of his reaction, he still hadn't felt it.

"What did it feel like?" Case inquired. Max cocked her head as she regarded him.

"Like angel kisses," she finally decided.

"What are angel kisses?" Alec demanded.

"This," Max whispered as she leaned forward to brush her eyelashes over his cheek. Alec shivered slightly at the ticklish movement, then smiled and pressed a kiss against her lips.

"Can I have an angel kiss?" Case whined. Max pulled back from her husband and smiled down at him.

"Of course you can," she assured him. "You can have all the angel kisses you want."

"Do you think any of them are from Mommy?"

__

March 30th, 2023

"Again Max?" Alec's voice was slightly raspy, weary. Of course, it could be from the long hard day he'd put in at work. More likely it was from the fact that she'd pounced on him the moment he walked through the front door. But tonight, the same as the last few days, as soon as she'd seen Alec, her body would start to hum. In fact, she would have thought she'd developed some strange psychosis, had it not been for the book Original Cindy had thoughtfully provided her with. So when she'd read up on the chapter for her month of pregnancy and discovered that a revved up sexual drive was par for the course, she'd been greatly relieved.

Alec of course had promised early on to help in whatever way he could. At first it had been satisfying her hunger for food. Then leaving her be, so that she could sleep. Heading off inquisitive people who seemed to think that pregnant women were public property. She'd barely restrained him from punching an older ordinary man who'd touched her stomach without permission. So when she'd first shown signs of increased sexual appetite, he'd been willing to carry his fair share of the load.

But deep down, for all he might tease and complain on the surface, Max knew he loved this stage of her pregnancy. So she didn't let the wariness in his voice worry her overmuch. "Yes again," she murmured as she pressed her lips to his. He responded to her kiss, pressing against her softly, his body molding against hers. Max let out a low moan as the hands that had been on her hips trailed up her sides, brushing against her sensitive breasts. "I want you, now," she breathed out.

Alec's eyes darkened and he smirked at her. "You don't have to tell me twice," he quipped as Max busied herself with peeling his coat off his arms. She threw it haphazardly to the side as Alec pulled the shirt over his head, while toeing off his shoes. Max, who'd been anticipating his return, had simply not dressed after her long bath. Instead she remained clad in her bathrobe. Her hands went eagerly to his belt as Alec let out a rueful chuckle.

"We're doing it in the doorway now?" he scoffed at her, reminding her of were exactly in the apartment they were. But it was not the deterrent it would have once been. Without missing a beat, Max simply reached around him and pushed the door shut. Then, hooking a finger into his belt loop, she pulled him towards the bedroom, maneuvering him to where she wanted him. With what she was sure was a wicked little smile on her face.

"I'll take you anywhere I can get you," she murmured back huskily. Alec didn't bother to answer. His knees had met the bed by then and talking was not Max's priority just then. He swiftly undid his belt buckle, leaving it hanging as Max popped the button open and pulled down the zipper. Her hand slid inside, cupping the hardened flesh she found there, causing Alec to groan. "Hmm," she teased. "Seems someone's not so tired anymore."

"Not at all," he grunted, his eyes glittering. Max pulled her hand away to push the slacks and boxers down over his slim hips, stepping back to let him kick the material away. She hurriedly loosened the knot of her robe, eager to connect with him, skin against skin. Alec helped, as she pulled the robe apart, baring her flesh to his gaze. As much as she would have liked to hurry, the look in his eyes as he took in her more rounded form captivated her every time.

His hand reached out slowly, to draw a finger down her collarbone. She shivered slightly at the light contact, her every nerve fiber on end. She wanted him so badly, that it was like a hunger to be continually fed. An ache in her chest that only he could ease. Alec let his finger drift down, brushing again over her breast as she swayed towards him. She nuzzled into his neck, finding the pulse point, hammering beneath his skin. Max pressed her lips against the spot

Alec's hands toyed with her flesh. She could feel the familiar tension coiling through her as his lips trailed over her temple, reaching where he could. And as much as she would have liked to draw this out, her need was just too urgent. She pushed him back, until he naturally sank down to the bed. Alec didn't protest this as it put him on level with his new fascination. She let him take a moment to rub his hands over the mound where the baby rested. But this moment was for them and she wanted his attention back on her.

She nudged his shoulders and Alec took the hint, carefully sliding himself back. He reached out a hand to her and Max eagerly clambered onto the bed, her legs straddling his. Max leaned over him, the end of her curls just barely brushing his face. Alec slid one hand over her thigh, as his other hand pushed her hair away from her eyes, locking gazes with her. Max bit her lip at the intensity present there. She, like always, quickly became the focus of all his attention. He pulled her down further and Max happily complied.

She pressed her body against his, raising up slightly to allow for certain portions of their anatomy. She caught his lips again, resting her hands on either side of his head. Alec's hands slid along her flesh, tickling lightly as they made their way up her sides, moving to wrap around her back, the heat emanating from them echoing through her skin. Max wanted the intensity that possessed her to burn in him too. She rubbed herself over his shaft, grinning at his mild groan.

"God Maxie," he grunted as his hands held her hips still. "You've been thinking about this for a while," he teased. Max's grin widened as she recalled a few of the fantastical thoughts that had passed through her mind earlier.

"All afternoon," she admitted. But the flashes of her mind, of all the erotically sweet things that Alec did to her, for her, combined with his physical presence was only serving to make her more eager. And demanding. "I want you in me."

"Now?" he asked in a low voice, even as he supported her thighs as she rose up. Max positioned herself over him and sank down slowly, guiding him with ease of practice.

"Oh yes," she murmured, reveling in the sensation of him filling her again. She looked at her husband from under hooded lids. The look on his face made her smile even more. The blissful serenity that prompted many of her loving declarations was there again. And she couldn't help herself now either. "I love you Alec."

"I love you too Maxie," he murmured. He flexed his hips and Max sucked in a breath. He certainly knew how to get her attention. She rose up slowly, Alec helping her along, his strong body supporting hers as she moved above him, working to bring about completion.

Soon Max collapsed on her husband, feeling boneless. But before she could give in to her body's new demand of sleep, she felt him brush another kiss on her temple and carefully ease her off him and to his side. "Comfortable?" he asked softly of her. She nodded.

"Mmhmm," she mumbled. "Thank you."

"Anytime Maxie."

__

April 2nd, 2023

Max yawned sleepily as she snuggled in closer to Alec. She was lying on her back; the only position allowed other than her sides. Which actually was more choice than she'd grudgingly admit. And sometimes, if she were lucky, which was fairly often, Alec would act as a pillow for her upper body, if she felt the need to indulge in weird sleeping positions. She was deep in thought, her hand absently tracing patterns over his, where it lay curved around her abdomen.

"Uh uh," Alec grunted sleepily. Max turned her head to see if he'd woken up, and what he could be saying no about. It wasn't often that he talked in his sleep. And whenever he did, it was usually stilted, disjointed dream conversations that she didn't always follow. But that wasn't the case this time. He peered over at her, a mildly disgusted look marring his features.

"Uh uh what?" she asked quietly.

"I just fed you," Alec replied tiredly. "So you can't be hungry again."

"I'm not hungry," Max answered honestly, puzzled. Perhaps he'd dreamt that she was hungry again. She was about to say so when he spoke again, glancing down at her stomach.

"Then why did your tummy rumble?" he demanded. She followed his gaze, a smile lighting up her features as realization hit her.

"That wasn't me Alec," she chuckled. Alec rolled his eyes at her.

"Well, if it wasn't you and it wasn't me," he grunted, sleep still befuddling his mind, "then who… oh!" His eyes popped open completely as he stared at her in wonder. Max giggled again and glanced once more at her stomach. She removed her hand from his and wiggled around a little. "That was the baby," he announced unnecessarily. Then scooted down to her hip. "And you little bugger," he exclaimed, though his tone was amused, "did it while I was asleep and couldn't tell what was going on."

"Alec, don't call the baby bugger," Max chastised playfully. He barely spared her a glance, instead speaking to her stomach.

"Well, if Mommy would settle on a name, then I wouldn't have to call you that, would I?" Alec joked; his hand still pressed carefully against the mound that was growing more each day.

"Well, it's kind of hard to pick a name for two reasons," Max extrapolated, her tone mockingly harsh. "One," she held up one finger, "Daddy keeps shooting down all my ideas."

"Can't help it Maxie," Alec teased, sparing her a brief glance. "All your names are really stupid."

"They are not!" she protested. "They're just… unique."

"Strange."

"Exotic."

"Laughable."

"Shut up _Dick_."

"Okay, point taken," Alec laughed. "You occasionally, mind you, very rarely, come up with a good one."

Slightly mollified, Max continued with her original point. A second finger jumped up to join the first. "And second, it's hard to pick a name when you don't know the sex of your child."

"Not my fault baby," Alec shrugged, his fingers now moving in slow circles around her skin. "I wanted to know. You're the one that kept up all that _'I want to be surprised´ _garbage."

"Well I do," she protested. She glanced down at her stomach, slightly irritable now. "Are you gonna move or not?"

"Are you talking to me or the baby?" Alec quipped, his eyes sparkling with merriment.

"Urgh! Either one of you," Max declared. "I just want to sleep. So move!"

"Hey now," Alec soothed her, his free hand reaching for hers. "Bugger will move as soon as he's ready. Then I'll feel it and we'll all be happy."

"He huh?"

"Or she. I don't mind, either way."

"And don't call her Bugger."

"You said that already," Alec paused a moment, his concentration squarely on the baby. But there was still no discernable movement. He glanced back up at Max. "So give me a name then."

Max reclined fully, wanting to roll to her side, but not daring to upset Alec's position while he waited on their child. "Mmm, Bettina?"

"Betty," he amended automatically. It was old hat for them. Max would throw something out and Alec would try to mould it into a recognizable and usable name. "Elizabeth." They both made faces and said together "Renfro!"

"So that one's a no," Max sighed. "Ooh, Natashique?"

"Natalie."

Max grimaced. "Sketchy's old girlfriend. No way. Jeanettra?"

"Jean. Why would that matter? And no, too plain."

"It just does. Deirhondra?"

Alec's face lit up as a smirk crossed it. "Deirdre!" he claimed enthusiastically.

"No! If we're not naming the baby after Sketch's ex, then we're certainly not naming one after one of yours."

"Ah Maxie," he soothed, then looked puzzled. "You kept track of their names?"

Max blushed slightly, realizing that she'd been caught out. Because Deirdre was certainly well before she and Alec had gotten together. Well before her accident in fact. "Well someone had to," she defended herself. "You certainly couldn't keep them straight."

"All right," he chuckled. "So that means no Little Suki, or Marina or Kelly or Vanessa, or-!" he broke off as Max nudged him sharply with her knee. "Oh, you know I love only you Maxie."

"You better," she growled. She relaxed again and went back to the naming game. "Abediahn?"

"Where on earth do you come up with these? Abigail," Alec mused. "That has potential."

"Didn't you know? I have a random name generator wired into my brain. Yeah, it's not bad," Max agreed. Though she wouldn't admit it aloud, this was actually kind of fun. Naming was such a big deal to her, but she just didn't have the flair for it other people did. So she got to come up with the most outrageous thing she could think of and let Alec temper it. It worked well for them. "So we'll put that on the girl list."

"Which is very short, since that's the only one," Alec pointed out agreeably. "So, boy's names?"

"Uh, Leland?" she asked, suppressing a small shudder. Alec wasn't so lucky.

"Lyle? No."

"How about Preston?"

"Shazam!" he laughed out loud. "Sounds like a magician. Bret, maybe?"

"Too jocky," she muttered. "How about Jaden?"

"Jason," he amended. His eyebrows quirked up. "That's a good one. I like it."

"Uh uh," Max decided. Something about the name just irked her. "Sounds too snobbish."

Alec stared at her incredulously. "Oh, like Leland, Preston and Jaden aren't little preppy school nerds just waiting to be dunked in the toilet, locked in lockers and pantsed in front of the entire student body?" Max giggled at the mental image he presented.

"Rossell?" she tried again, still tittering under her breath.

"Russ. What the hell is that?" he grimaced. Max thought for a moment that he was referring to the baby, but it still hadn't moved.

"Oh, it means red."

"We're not naming our kid red. May as well go with something like… Walter!"

"No Walter!" Max half-shouted. Alec frowned at her so she hastened to explain. "Sorry, bad memories about my ex-roommate Kendra. And this very old, very dirty cop named Walter."

"Ohh," Alec nodded sagely, though his eyes were dancing. "Mr. Multiples." He chuckled at the nauseous look on her face. "Yeah, OC told me about that." He was quiet for a long while as Max lay drowsily, almost asleep again. But his low, hesitant voice woke her right up again. "I had a thought. You know, a while ago."

"What was that sweetie?" Max asked in a gentle voice. For some reason, he didn't want to meet her eyes. She was intrigued despite her need for sleep.

Alec rested his head on her thigh, making himself comfortable before continuing. "I was thinking, that if it's a boy, if you wanted to," he glanced up at her, seeming to gauge her reaction. "We could name him… Ben."

Max gulped, not having expected that. She gasped a little, trying to draw in air. This, this offer, it was so typically sweet. And at first Max wanted to say yes, that that was the perfect name for their child. But it wasn't. And it wasn't only the slight twinge she felt in her chest whenever she heard that name. It was the mix of apprehension and pain and yearning that she saw in Alec's face. "Oh Alec, thank you." He flashed a small smile at her. "But I don't… I don't think-!"

"You don't want Ben?" he asked, puzzled. Max inhaled deeply, trying to order her thoughts.

"I loved my brother so much," she began. "But I don't want to name the baby after someone that I still feel so… I don't ever want the baby to be looked at like someone we're trying to make amends to. Do you know what I mean?"

"Perfectly," he nodded slightly. "I think I'd feel the same if the baby were named Rachel." They stared at each other for a long moment, before Alec finally sat up. "Well, I don't think I'm going to get lucky tonight."

"No, I guess not," Max agreed. "Baby probably fell asleep."

"Probably," Alec sighed. He rearranged himself to lie beside her once more, this time the proper way. Though his hand still rested on her stomach. Max snuggled in close once again, her thoughts whirling, though she yearned for sleep. She really didn't want to think too heavily on Ben and Rachel, as she felt she'd already cried enough hormonal tears these past few months. Thinking of those tragedies would just unleash a tidal wave.

But sleep wasn't to be hers. And neither did it seem to be Alec's. She could feel him shifting about, searching for a more comfortable position. She tried to turn her mind from thoughts of her brother, her husband's twin. And finally she was successful. She had almost dozed off, when it suddenly came to her. "Jamie."

"James," Alec mumbled back sleepily. Then he lifted up his head. "Hey, that's not bad. I like that one." Max nodded, a smile lighting up her face.

"James Alexander McDowell," she decided. Alec's face softened as he pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

His eyes were suspiciously misty as he regarded her. Then he chuckled. "Ah, if only a girl's name came so easily."

"Jaime," Max repeated.

"So you're thinking boy?" he teased. She shook her head.

"No, you just change the spelling. J-A-M-I-E for a boy. J-A-I-M-E for a girl," she explained. Alec tilted his head to the side.

"That works too," he said slowly. "Jaime Marie?"

"That's pretty," Max mumbled. "Kind of rolls off the tongue."

Alec glanced down at her abdomen. "So what do you think of that Jamie?" But there was still nothing. Max chuckled.

"Give it up Alec," she taunted. "Jamie just doesn't like you."

Alec frowned at her. "Bugger!" Max couldn't tell if he meant her or the baby. But it suddenly didn't matter as her abdomen lurched beneath his hand. She exhaled sharply as she was caught by surprise by the strength of the internal blow. Alec reacted just like a little boy at Christmas, receiving the long awaited for favorite toy.

"Did you feel that?" he demanded, not realizing how absurd his question was. Max nodded benignly, even though he wasn't looking at her. "I felt that."

"Yippee for you," Max grumbled. "Can I go to sleep now?"

Alec laughed joyously as he once again scooted down to her side. "Mommy's just mad cause you like my name best… bugger." He was rewarded with another small kick.

"Alec!"


	25. When Emotion Takes Over Everything

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

AN: The date of Max and Alec's wedding should have been February 28th, 2022. I've gone back and fixed that so that the timeline gels.

Chapter Twenty-five

When Emotion Takes Over Everything

__

August 27th, 2023

"Weight?" Tina's bored voice rang out, as Max tiredly stepped on the old fashioned scale that was now adorning Doc's prime triage room. Well, no triage for her today. Just another run of the mill, damnable, same as always check-up. Get on the scale; listen in humiliation as Tina read out the ever-increasing number. Get off the scale. Go to the bed. Change into an exam gown. Wait forever on the cold, metal lined table for Doc, or Tina, or Dr. Carr or whoever the hell it was that was available to see her. In the last few months, they'd had generous offers from the university hospital staff they worked with to have an attending surgeon, physician and an OB/GYN on call. They were rarely needed.

But since Doc wasn't a fully trained doctor and Tina was just a physical therapist, of sorts, they did like having someone they could turn to with the experience and information that they didn't always have. And for the doctors coming to TC for things such as prenatal check-ups, well they were in geeker heaven. The transgenic and transhuman physiology was just enough different from others that they wanted to study the logistics over and over. The trannies had put their collective foot down about it, saying no on general principles. They understood themselves, and that was enough. But that didn't prevent various doctors and administrators from perpetually hoping.

Today, in the latest stream of OB's, Max found young, pimply faced doctor, and she hesitated to even call him that, waiting for her. Because of the still present toxins in TC, they couldn't risk prolonged exposure of the ordinaries. So Max had volunteered to go to a clinic or even the hospital, though she wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea. But when she'd arrived, there'd been a bevy of doctors all vying to talk to her of thesis, physiognomy and theory, aside from the doctors in the obstretics field that wanted to treat her. And added to that were the administrative staff that felt it imperative that they be on hand to greet the illustrious Alec McDowell that had so generously started what appeared to be a lucrative fund for them and their hospital.

Luckily Carr had been there that time to steer them through the mass and find a little privacy. And after Max's examination, he'd provided a way out, without encountering any more oh so helpful personnel. After that, Max had refused to return. Alec had blown off some steam by ranting about how they should have chosen a different hospital, until Mole wryly pointed out that it would have been the same anywhere. Just because the rest of the ordinaries had calmed down about their apprehension of the freaks, didn't mean that professionals didn't want to use them to further their own ends.

So now Max was stuck with revolving door doctors in the last stage of her pregnancy. Actually, beyond that because she was three days overdue. Since it was standard procedure for doctors to see pregnant women once a week in the last month until they gave birth, most of the doctors had little time to familiarize themselves with her case. So she ended up answering the same damn questions over and over. And for some reason, her temper was inverse to her weight. The more she gained in ounces, the shorter her temper got. As many, many people could attest to.

And by the time the appointment was all over, she was ready to cry. She'd stayed constant in her weight, which was a relief. Max was afraid that instead of losing weight when she had the kid, it'd all be a big fat lie and she'd swell up even more. She was still set at two centimeters dilation. Any contractions she'd felt in the last week were obviously Braxton-Hicks, false labor. And the pimply-faced git hadn't even been willing to discuss inducing the labor. It didn't matter to Max that everyone else was against it. She just wanted Jamie to be born. At least Dr. Carr had discussed it with her, explaining why it wasn't a good idea at this point. But that had been a few weeks ago.

Max grimaced as she struggled into her dress. Everything these days were taking her twice as long, if she even had the energy for it. There was a knock at the door and Max called permission to enter once her dress swirled down to cover her decently. Tina poked her head into the room, smiling sympathetically at her. She glanced down at the shoes Max had turned to. Unlike her usual sneakers or boots, she'd been opting for flip-flops and sandals. It was so much easier to get your day started it you didn't have to contend with bending over.

"Hey," Tina smiled as she stepped in fully. She gestured to the shoes. "Need any help?"

"Nah," Max shook her head. "I'm good." And to prove it, she shoved one foot into the nearest shoe, not bothering to look as she picked up the ream of pamphlets these idiots always seemed so eager to pawn off on her. She wiggled her toes uncomfortably, wondering what the problem was until Tina giggled. "What?"

"Uh Max," Tina stifled her laughter quickly as she pointed down again. "You might want to try that on the other foot." Max glanced down, dismayed when once again, all she saw was protruding stomach. So she lifted the offending appendage to see that indeed, she'd picked the wrong shoe. And Max, just like any other pregnant transgenic that was at the end of her rope, burst into tears. And Tina, like any transgenic, long used to this, called for Alec.

It took him seconds only to arrive. Attesting to the fact that he'd been faithfully waiting for her to arrive at the consultation with Carr. They'd seen him sporadically as well, just so that he could keep up on Max's memory developments. Which in recent months had added up to zero. Not even flashes, thus proving Carr unhappily correct. But none of that was on Max's mind as she cried. It was just the simple adding up of minor frustrations that had finally proved to her that the world was out to get her.

And while normally, mixing up her shoes didn't ever happen to her, it was just the tip of the iceberg. Pregnancy hormones raged through her body, making the slightest mess up seem monumental. The kindest word about her condition was held in deep suspicion. And the infernal question, _'have you had the kid yet?'_ Max swore that she'd throttle the next person who asked her that, be it in person or through the phone. But worse than any of the little things that bugged the crap out of her, was Alec's calm acceptance of the matter.

He simply came into the room, not caring what the problem was. Just sure that he could either help her, or soothe her until she figured it out for herself. And in the strange mood she'd been in the last few days, that bothered her for reasons she couldn't possibly understand. And of course, considering that she considered herself perfectly capable of figuring herself out, she hadn't bothered to ask any of the other transgenic females who'd been through this before. They all could have told her that irrational anger with one's mate was a natural by-product of the hormones.

But if anyone else dared to tell her that… Well, Max was extremely likely to fly off the handle and prove that she was more than just the housing for Alec's child. But her thoughts were quickly distracted as Alec's arms came around her, nudging her head to rest in the crook of his shoulder. Just having him nearby settled her jangling nerves. Until Tina piped up again.

"Take her home Alec," she directed. "I'll tell Carr to come back another time." Max bristled at the indulgent tone she heard in the other woman's voice. Alec wisely opted for the safer measure. He pulled back slightly and looked down into her tear-streaked face.

"Do you want to do this now or later?" he asked gently. Max let out a sigh. She should have known he'd ask. He seemed to have learned quickly that even if he thought he was doing the right thing, Max would find some way to take it wrong. She honestly didn't mean to, but her emotions were so much nearer the surface. Such an extreme that it almost made her yearn for the days when she was simply a bitch to her husband and anyone else she felt like.

But the answer that slipped out of her mouth simply underscored her vulnerability. "I just want to go home." And then she buried her head in his neck. Alec thankfully, didn't protest. Didn't argue that Carr had taken time out of his busy schedule to see her, even though it was almost pointless now. Didn't give her any directions.

He just reached for the papers in her hand and turned his head to Tina. "Could you?" he asked, apparently making some gesture that Max couldn't see. But when she felt the woman's slim hand poke at her foot, she realized what he'd meant. She lifted her foot up and felt Tina slide the incorrect shoe off and swiftly replace it with the right one. Max set her foot down and lifted up her other foot. Tina obliged, sliding the shoe on for her, instead of making her search for it. As soon as Tina stood she felt Alec shift and glanced up to see him flash a smile at the woman. With no other words, he escorted her out of the room.

He didn't need to ask what the doctor had said as she told him in a tired voice as they walked. He sympathized, but there wasn't much else that he could do. The first day past her due date, he'd pored over the literature they had, searching for something to help start her labor. It was no secret that he was eager for Jamie to be born. Nowhere near as desperate as Max, but excited all the same. The second day, when nothing had worked, he'd returned to being supportive. And apparently that was his game plan for now.

It was crazy, Max knew it, but there were moments when she totally blamed this all on him. He'd just had to celebrate the anniversary of his asking her to marry him. He'd just had to be all manly and fruitful. Of course it wasn't her fault that she was born female and just as fruitful as he. He was male; he didn't have to suffer like she was. Therefore it was his fault. _'And damn him for being so calm. For being so nice to me. I've been ranting at him for the last week and he just takes it!'_ Max felt another bout of irrationality coming on as Alec opened the door to their newer apartment.

It was just a few doors down from where they'd lived previously. Gem had suggested it. And bowing to her wisdom as an established mother, Max and Alec had moved. From a one bedroom apartment to two bedrooms. They'd slowly been able to get a nursery ready. Not by any means one that ever had any chance of being declared "infant living space of the year". But it was serviceable, had all the necessities. It was here that Max headed straight for.

"I am so tired," she whined. Alec trailed after her, his hand resting on her lower back.

"I know babe," he soothed as he kicked of his shoes.

"No you don't!" she snapped as he took a seat in the rocking chair that he'd found for her a few months previous.

"Okay, I don't," he murmured affably as he held out his arms to her. Max snorted lightly as she took a seat in his lap. His arms closed around as much of her waist that he could. She snuggled in as best she could, finally managing to hook her legs over the armrest opposite her. Now at last, she could really understand how ordinaries felt. Her flexibility was gone. Her transgenic speed was now tempered by the noticeable waddle in her step. Every once in a while she lost her center of balance and was incredibly clumsy. And worst of all, she couldn't sleep lying down at all, which was why they were in the chair.

Alec used the toe of one foot to set the chair to swaying. Max yawned and despite how terrible she was feeling, managed to drift right off to sleep. She didn't even register the cramping in her back, since it seemed to have been that way always. Nor did she pay any attention to the hardening muscles in her abdomen that had seemed hard forever. All she knew was that she and the baby were home and safe in her husband's arms.

When Max woke several hours later, she immediately noticed one thing. Another trip to the bathroom was needed. "Damn bladder," she grumbled as she began the complicated procedure of extricating herself from her position. Alec stirred a little as she maneuvered.

"Maxie?" he mumbled, sleep still claiming most of him.

"Bathroom," she uttered tersely. He nodded slowly as his hand nudged its way under her knees. In a practiced move, he swung her around and helped her to stand. He was back asleep by the time she'd waddled out of the room.

She took care of business and was heading for the kitchen for some more raspberry leaf tea when she noticed the dishes still in the sink. With a sigh, she realized that both she and Alec had forgotten about them in the rush to make it to her appointment. Well, it was no use leaving them. So Max detoured from her intended route to start filling the sink with water.

Once that was done, she'd noticed several other things that they'd been letting slip in the past few weeks. Well, she couldn't vacuum as the doctor said it was a no-no. But that didn't mean she couldn't dust. And by the time she'd finally worked her way back to Jamie's room, her unexpected burst of energy had faded, leaving her cranky once more. And she focused that ire on the first thing she saw. Alec's shoes.

"God damn it!" her yell more than woke him up. Alec came to standing in one fluid, panicked movement. He was beside her, one hand on her stomach, the other checking his watch.

"Contraction?" he asked, his voice a mixture of worry and excitement.

"Shoes!" she shot back. The confusion on his face was almost enough to bring her out of her dark mood. But when he didn't automatically understand and comply, she huffed out, "I could have tripped!"

"Oh, sorry babe," he apologized slowly, shaking the last remnants of confusion from his eyes. But Max was on a roll, so to speak. When he didn't immediately pick them up, she grunted in anger. And tried to bend over to do so herself. A near impossible feat now. "Max!" he protested, pulling on her arm. She stood and he bent over to scoop up the offending sneakers. It was then that he noticed the bucket in her other hand. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Cleaning, moron," she snapped "What does it look like I'm doing? Dancing Swan Lake?" He made to protest again, but she cut him off. "And no, I haven't been lifting anything or climbing ladders or vacuuming or any of the other billion things I'm not allowed to do."

"I didn't say anything," he remarked mildly. But it didn't deter her.

"I am a big girl Alec," she went on as if he hadn't spoken. "I know what I can and can't do. And if I feel like cleaning, then I'll clean."

"Really," he smirked, "I was just going to ask why."

"Because the house needs to be clean!" she yelled. Alec stiffened slightly. And the inner bitch in her realized that she was laying it on a little thick, but somehow she just couldn't stop herself. "If the baby ever decides to make an appearance, I'm sure as hell not gonna have the energy to do it. And you haven't bothered to do a damn thing around here."

"Max," he said it softly, without rancor, without remonstration. Max's face fell as suddenly old words, her words echoed back in her ears. All the times she'd blamed Alec for something that really wasn't his fault. Times when she'd taken her anger out on the person nearest to her, usually him. And just as she couldn't help ranting, she couldn't help the tears. The bucket dropped from her hand as the tears welled up in her eyes. There was another couple of thuds as his shoes fell next to the bucket and his arms went around her as he curved his body to hers. "Sweetie?"

"Don't Alec," she sobbed, the moisture soaking the front of his shirt. "I know I'm being a bitch. And I'm sorry. I can't help it."

"I know," he soothed. But that was the wrong thing to say.

"No! You don't know," she raged, pulling away from his embrace. "You're not the one with the aching back. You're not the one who cries because you see a dog running around with a kid. You're not the one who can't walk properly because you're hips keep spreading."

"That's not what I meant," he chuckled, pulling her back to him. "I mean I know, because I see how tough this is on you. And if there was something I could do to help or make it easier, then I want to do it. And knowing that, I also know that there isn't a whole heck of a lot I can do, except be there for you, in whatever way you need. If you need to yell at me, then do it. If you need to sleep on me, then do it. If you need the house cleaned, then just tell me what to do."

Max softened a little, her energy draining further. But there was still something that she needed to say. "How on earth do you put up with me?" she asked softly. She felt the kiss he pressed onto the top of her head.

"Because I love you," he answered amiably. Max snorted lightly. While it may have been true, it was such a pat answer. "No really," he chuckled. Max shifted a little, not content with his answer. Something niggled at her. There had to be more, because she knew that she certainly wouldn't put up with this sort of behavior from him. Her mind reminded her that Alec wasn't carrying a baby. But even if he could have, she really didn't think she'd have the patience to deal with him as he did her.

"What else?" she finally asked, trying not to dismiss his declaration. He studied her for a moment, serious thought replacing the humorous glint that had been in his eyes.

"Do remember anything of right after the accident?" he asked, without hope, his fingers clutching at hers. He already knew that she didn't. But then, Alec was never one to just give up on something completely. Max shook her head. There was still nothing clear, or at all of that time. She only vaguely remembered going to Logan's in the first place.

"Well afterwards, we were talking," he continued. "Just stuff in general. And you asked me what I wanted out of life."

"And let me guess," Max grinned, "you were all wine, women and song, or something along that line."

"At first, yeah," he admitted, a faint blush staining his cheeks. "But you persisted and I finally told you what I wanted." He was staring intently at her now. Understanding dawned as his fingers caressed the skin around her wedding rings.

"You wanted a family," she whispered.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "But also a place where we could be who we were meant to be. A place where people didn't fear the freaks. I wanted us all to be happy and satisfied with our lives." He paused for a moment. "And it was you."

"Me?" she asked, slightly dumbfounded. What had she done?

Almost as if reading her mind, he answered. "You made all those dreams come true. All my dreams. And I remember that every time I look at you."

"Oh Alec," she sniffled. Max could feel the tears starting again. But they felt different. Almost cleansing. Her husband leveled a huge smile in her direction as his hand caressed her stomach.

"That's how I 'put up with you'," he teased. He gave her a moment to try and collect herself, and then leaned over to pick up the bucket and shoes that had been abandoned. "Now, how about you sit down for a little bit and tell me what needs to be done."

"Okay," she agreed. She let him lead her back to the living room and took a seat on the couch. He pulled the coffee table a little closer so the she could rest her feet. And then proceeded to clean the apartment for her, entertaining her with his chatter as he always did. And for the first time in a long while, Max was content.

__

August 28th, 2023

Max came awake slowly, wondering what on earth it was now that had woken her from her sleep. Earlier in the evening it had been Alec carrying her to bed, since she'd fallen asleep on the couch after dinner. Then she'd woken again as Jamie decided to try out the current acrobatic routine. And then she'd woken again when Alec had come to bed. But now, everything was silent around her. She turned her head to her left to see Alec sprawled facedown on his pillow. She smiled even though she wanted to grimace at the slight twinge of pain in her back.

Max ran a soothing hand over the baby's motion, knowing how useless it would be. When Jamie wanted to move, he moved. Or she, Max still didn't know. Although, she'd been leaning more and more to thinking it was a boy. But she still had odd moments when she insisted it was a girl. Right now she didn't care about gender, all she wanted was some more sleep. She turned her head to the other side.

"Great," she mumbled, wondering if she should get up. It was nearly two o'clock in the morning. And if she got up now, she'd probably be up the rest of the night. But she could always try rocking in the chair and see if that settled Jamie down. But she was just so exhausted; she didn't have the energy to move yet. And every time she thought she'd be able to move, there was another twinge of pain. It clicked in Max's mind that the pain seemed fairly rhythmic. With a small gasp of excitement, she stared at the clock, timing the distance between contractions.

They were coming every few minutes, which was good news for Max. At last she could call Doc, have him, Gem and Tina standing by. She'd get Alec up and they could head over to the infirmary and at last she'd have the baby. She struggled to her side, facing Alec and poked him in the shoulder. "Alec, wake up," she murmured. He muttered something in his sleep, his hand moving to grab her finger and twine his own fingers around hers. Max shook her hand in his, but it didn't bother him. She tried again, a little louder. "Alec!" He grunted again. "The baby wants to get out now!" Still nothing.

Deciding that maybe it was better to get up and get ready, then wake him, Max rolled back over to her other side to climb out of the bed. But just as she rolled over, another contraction hit her, this one harder, tougher than the others. Trying to remember what Gem and Tina had told her about breathing, she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly in a small stream, just trying to manage the increasing pain. She kept an eye on the clock, gauging the length of the contraction. It finally eased off after a minute, even though it wasn't completely gone. Max heaved a sigh as the clock slipped over to 2:14. She scooted her arm over, in preparation to push herself up, but as she did, a wave of dizziness came over her. Her last thought as she slipped back to the bed was, _'oh no, this can't be good.'_


	26. Starting Again

Title: Dream Within

Author: Restive Nature (aka Bavite)

Rated: R

Disclaimer: All characters within this fiction are the property of Cameron/ Eglee. I just like to play with them.

Timeline: Six weeks after FN.

Pairing M/A

Summary: An unexpected accident causes Max to think about the future in a new way.

AN- This chapter is dedicated once again to Lyra. I'm sorry sweetie, but we knew this day had to come. I just hope you read **everything!**

Chapter Twenty-six

Starting Again

Alec stared at the still form beside him. Even after all this time, it still amazed him that despite their superior strength, despite their superior intellect, despite everything that put them above ordinaries, they could still be so fragile. He shifted uncomfortably in his rickety old chair, the best he'd been able to come up with. He never liked thinking of Max in those terms. She was strong. She was a fighter. She shouldn't have been laid low by something so simple.

But she had been.

His eyes darted towards the clock on the bedside table opposite him. It had changed little since the last time he'd checked, only minutes before. He sighed heavily. Inaction didn't suit him at all. So he took the only course left to him. He leaned forward and carefully slid his fingers under her inert hand. His grip on her was careful; mindful of the needle inserted in her wrist to provide intravenous fluids that she needed, as well as painkillers. Her hand looked so small in his that he nearly wept. He pushed the fear that she never would wake up to the back of his mind. Dr. Carr had assured him that physically she would be okay. But her mind had retreated from the conscious world.

So it was up to them to get her back.

Alec knew that he had a lot of technical strengths. Manticore had seen to that. But if ever anything was needed right now, it was his ability to get under Max's skin and annoy the crap out of her. To the point that she'd wake up just to tell him to shut the hell up. But right now, there was no rancor, no teasing, and just a slightly desperate yearning to see her eyelids flutter again and really wake up.

"You know Maxie," he began again in a low voice. "You've been out for a long time. Almost nine hours. You know, if you wanted a little time off, there are easier ways to do that." He chuckled a little although she gave no indication that she heard him. At first, every little moan or gasp from her had caught his attention. But when disappointment followed and she didn't wake up, he'd feel his heart plummet again. There was still hope, there always would be. But the longer they waited, the harder it got.

"You can stop faking, you know," he pushed again, careful to keep from jarring her. "Dr. Carr said you're not in a coma, so you can't keep this up for much longer." And it was true. After examining her, Dr. Carr had assured them that she was in a mild state between unconscious and comatose. So the implications of that were that it was all up to Max when she felt like bringing herself to consciousness. "Or are you just trying to tell me that you don't like the company?" he teased again.

Alec held his breath as her eyelids fluttered again. She let forth a small moan and his attention was torn from her face as one of her legs twitched. His heartbeat sped up, anticipation thrumming through him. This was more response than he'd gotten before. Her leg twitched again, her hand grasping his for one slight second before becoming loose again.

"C'mon Maxie," he breathed softly, encouragingly. "Wake up."

He watched in fascination as her legs that had been moving suddenly twisted to the side. He chewed on his lower lip, wondering if it had been a good sign when suddenly her whole body jerked to the side, her legs coming up as if she wanted to curl into a fetal position. But something stopped her short. He wondered if she were in pain. The movement was certainly reminiscent of someone trying to fend off unyielding hurt. He took in the morphine drip, noting that there was still plenty there. She let out another tiny moan and Alec stroked over the back of the hand he still held with his thumb. There had to be some way to reach her.

"It's okay Max, you're safe," he murmured, hoping that she would hear him in this state. And it seemed she had.

"Alec," she moaned, her voice sounding slightly urgent.

Alec could feel the blood pounding through his body, the echoing rush overwhelming his sensitive ears. He swallowed the mixed yelp of surprise and hope that her voice brought him. He moved his free hand to stroke her cheek. "I'm here Maxie. Right here. Everything's okay."

"Alec," she whispered. The feeling of triumph in him was tempered by worry. Sure she was talking, but it could mean anything. She could just be responding to something deep within her own psyche. He'd give anything if she'd just open her eyes. He leaned in a little closer; not sure what he could tempt her into wakefulness with. But she simply garbled something more that he struggled to make out. It sounded like _'get out now.'_ Which made no sense to him. Unless of course she knew she was talking to him. Then it made perfect sense.

"Okay, okay," he joked tiredly. "I'll leave. As soon as you open your eyes and tell me face to face. No more of this faking sleep thing." And it seemed that she heard him. The hand in his twitched again and then tried to pull away. Alec didn't let go quickly enough so she moved her other hand. He sucked in his breath and held it as he followed her movement up to her forehead. He winced slightly as she encountered the bandage that covered her skin. Her fingers puzzled over it for a moment before gently cradling her temple. Her face twisted up in a grimace and then her eyes opened.

And blinked shut again.

"C'mon Max," Alec sighed. "I saw that. I know you're awake. Now c'mon." And to his pleasure, she finally obeyed a command of his. "Open your eyes and talk to me."

She rolled her head to him, her eyes coming open and staying open as she took him in. "Alec?" she murmured. Her eyes flickered to where he had lifted their still joined hands and she squeezed just a little. "What happened?" she groaned out, her voice gravelly and pained. "Where is he?"

Alec didn't know which answer first. He understood both. Well, sort of. Of course she was asking what had happened to her. Understandable in the situation. The second, obviously she wanted someone. Logan, most likely. But the power to answer, to even think was stolen away from him by the beatific smile she leveled at him. Never before had she smiled like that at him. It was a rare day when she smiled at all any more. His thought stumbled around until she spoke again.

"Alec, where is he?" she stressed, still gripping his hand.

"Oh, Logan," he finally stammered out, disappointment rampaging through him. What he would have given for that smile to be for him. "I'll go get him."

Max swallowed once. Though her body had been getting fluid, she still needed some to moisten her sore throat muscles. "Why is Logan here?" she croaked. Alec looked at her, puzzled.

"Because he lives here," he pointed out amicably, slowly trying to pull the mantle of smart-ass sidekick back on. But he certainly didn't expect the reaction to that. Max's eyes suddenly darted around wildly, taking in the bedroom that they'd put her in, with its peeling wallpaper and old furniture. And to his horror, the eyes that had finally opened for him filled with tears.

"No!" Max sobbed, pulling her hand from his to scrub at her eyes. "No, this isn't right. He's supposed to be here." She finally did manage to curl up in the position she'd been searching for. But to Alec, it seemed more from the pain of grief than anything physical. _'What the hell was going through her mind?'_ he wondered. Had she been thinking of Zack? Or one of her other brothers? That would certainly account for how upset she was becoming. Which Alec realized wasn't a good thing.

"Max it's okay," he tried to soothe. "We'll find him."

"He's not lost," she gasped out. "He's just… not. It wasn't supposed to be this way!"

To say Alec was completely stunned when Max threw herself into him would have been an understatement. But his arms closed about her as if she were destined to be there in that moment. Her fingers, unheeding of the IV drip still inserted in her wrist, twisted about in his shirt. Her cheek rested just above his heart as her tears fell to soak the material. Her legs had curled up into herself completely. Alec rested his cheek on her head, trying to still the emotions running through him. Whatever had hurt her so badly in her own mind that she was turning to him for comfort was a mystery to him. But he wouldn't begrudge her that comfort. He just couldn't deny her anything right now. Not when he was so glad and relieved that she was awake and reacting.

"Shh Max," he whispered, his large hand running over her back in circles. He was amazed that she burrowed in deeper. "Calm down baby," he crooned. But apparently the endearment that slipped out was exactly the wrong thing to say. He heard the low keening start and right along with it, his heart crackling with tempered pain. "Please Max," his voice cracked a little as he attempted to calm her, "you're just going to make yourself worse."

She might have calmed down and relaxed, had the door not banged open. Alec's eyes flew to the door, surprise and a little frission of guilt zinging through him. He'd almost forgotten that Logan was in the living room talking with Dr. Carr. Waiting and wondering if Max would be okay, just as he himself had been. And the stunned look on the other man's face, reminded Alec of exactly where he was. In what should have been, if it weren't for that damnable virus, Logan's place. He couldn't help the small triumphant part of his mind that wanted to scream out _'nyah nyah'_.

"She's awake," Logan breathed out, unnecessarily pointing out the obvious. He stepped into the room and Alec could see the doctor right behind him, trying to peer over the taller man's shoulder at his patient. After only a moment's hesitation, he started towards the bed. But Max apparently saw this and to everyone's surprise, scooted back, still clinging to Alec.

"No," she muttered fiercely. Logan's eyes widened as he jerked to a stunned halt. Alec glanced down at her, her eyes screwed tightly shut, still pressing into him. _'Well of course she doesn't want him getting close to her,'_ he told himself sharply. _'He's not wearing his damn gloves.'_ But the less practical side of him was exulting in the feel of her warm body pressed against his own. Logan looked as if he was about to speak, but Dr. Carr chose that moment to take charge of the situation. He approached the bed from the other side, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress.

"Max?" he spoke softly to get her attention. When she turned her head enough to see him out of the corner of her eye he continued. "Do you feel up to letting me examine you?"

Alec didn't mean to, but his arms involuntarily tightened about her. But Max made no protest at this move. Alec only hoped it was slight enough to have escaped the other men's eyes. And when nothing was said, he believed it had been. While he might not want to let her go, especially since she was in his arms willingly, Alec knew that Carr needed to ascertain exactly what damage the car had done to her when she'd been hit. With care, he eased back to look down into her face, melting a little as her large doe-like eyes met his.

"Okay Maxie?" he asked in a deep tone. He could understand her reluctance, but was relieved when he saw her swallow and then nod.

"Okay," she whispered, then slowly straightened herself up. With her good hand, the one unencumbered by plastic tubing, she scrubbed again at her eyes. "I'm sorry," she apologized; though Alec wasn't sure whom she was directing it to. At least Logan seemed slightly mollified. Alec felt a surge of ire towards the other man for the vague approval he gave off when Max moved away from the male transgenic. She was perfectly entitled to her reaction. _'And I didn't really do anything wrong!'_ he assured himself angrily. He'd simply comforted a friend who'd been incredibly upset. But as he stood, Alec knew that while his actions hadn't crossed any lines, his feelings had.

Dr. Carr was rubbing a soothing hand on Max's shoulder when he stopped to turn to the other men. "If you guys don't mind?" he trailed off slightly, but there was no doubting that it was an order rather than a suggestion. Logan nodded dumbly and waited for Alec to move out of the room ahead of him. But at the doorway, he chanced a glance back at Max. Her eyes were wide, panicked, almost pleading with him. If he didn't know better, he'd swear that she didn't want him to leave.

"You must be thirsty. Why don't I get you something to drink?" he asked, testing his theory. He knew he was right when relief poured over her face. He flashed her a ghost of a smile and moved out into the other room, Logan hot on his heels. The older man followed him straight into the kitchen, where Alec busied himself with inspecting the contents of the refrigerator. He could feel the tension and unspoken questions of the ordinary, rolling off him like waves. With a sigh, he nudged the door shut, deciding that Max needed something a little more soothing than chilled wine. _'Hope really must spring eternal,'_ he snorted mockingly to himself, of Logan's penchant for plying his guests, namely Max with that beverage.

He turned to the cupboards that he was sure were as well stocked as Logan's penthouse kitchen had been. When he finally found the cupboard he was looking for, he wasn't disappointed. He rifled through Logan's selection of tea. Really, the man had too many varieties. He stifled a chuckle as he imagined Logan trying to start his day with the monumental decision between Earl Grey and English Breakfast. He finally caught sight of the chamomile tea and pulled the box loose, pausing as he watched the other boxes tremble. When they didn't fall, he shut the cupboard and moved to the next to grab a mug.

"What happened Alec?" he finally sputtered out. Alec shot him an annoyed glance and went back to filling up the teakettle.

"She woke up," he answered shortly, really not in the mood to deal with Logan's insecurities, imagined or not.

"Yes, I realize that," Logan spoke condescendingly, forgetful of his own inane comment from earlier. "What I meant was, why was she so upset?"

Alec slammed the kettle on the stove before turning to fix Logan with a pointed stare. "What the hell am I? A mind reader? I'll leave that to the freaks from psy-ops, thanks."

Logan sighed and the tension seemed to drop out of his shoulders. "Sorry, I've just been worried about her."

And no matter what his feelings for Max were, Alec knew that Logan had first claim on her. Always would have. "Yeah," he grunted, perturbed with himself. He was a soldier, damn it. He needed to push this sentimentality aside and focus on the situation.

"Did she say anything?" Logan tried again. "Did she give any indication what was bothering her?"

Alec busied himself with the stove, his back once again to the other man. "She was asking for someone. She didn't say who."

"What does that mean?" Logan persisted. Alec felt the thin veneer on his emotions, on his temper about to snap. He spun around.

"It means that she woke up," he answered in clipped tones. "She asked what happened to her. Then she asked where _'he'_ was. She didn't say what he she was asking for."

"So what did you say?" Logan demanded, suspicious. Alec rolled his eyes dramatically, trying to get the point across to Logan that it wasn't his fault, whatever people were automatically inclined to believe about him. He had to bite back the retort that it had been the mention of Logan's name and proximity that had sent her into tears.

"I told her that I was going to get you," Alec told him evenly. "Then I think she really woke up, and that's when she got upset." Logan just nodded, trying to assimilate this information to what he and Carr had walked in on. He took a seat at the kitchen table and watched as Alec fiddled with the tea bags.

The water had boiled twice. The first time, neither man was willing to interrupt Dr. Carr, so Alec had switched the water off. But then Logan had felt like making something warm to drink for himself, so Alec had switched it back on. He offered to Alec, but the transgenic wasn't interested. He just wanted to go back into that room and make sure that Max was okay. That she was herself again. _'Well, not precisely herself,'_ he mused to himself. _'This version is too emotional.'_ It was as if she'd gone from one end of the emotional scale to the other. And Alec wasn't sure which one he preferred. Although not getting hit was a nice option. Clothes tended to dry easier than bruises healed.

Finally the water had heated enough to begin to emit its piercing shriek. Alec, still leaning against the counter turned to shut off the burner. He waved Logan back to his seat and poured the hot water into the waiting mugs. They'd unconsciously decided that by the time the water had boiled again, they were going to find out how Max was. They were saved having to interrupt when they heard the inner door opening. Logan stood as Carr entered the room. Alec simply removed the tea bag, setting it in the drainer before he turned to the doctor.

"Well," Dr. Carr began, rubbing his hands together. "You'll be happy to know that Max is going to be perfectly fine." He directed his comment to Logan, but he spared a glance at Alec. Logan sagged a little as relief took hold of him, but Alec remained where he was. "My original diagnosis was correct," the doctor continued. "Max sustained a mild concussion, some bumps and bruises, but she'll recover easily enough for that. I was worried that the concussion might be more serious, but she's completely cognizant of where she is and what's going on."

"So why was she so upset then?" Logan asked, with a distasteful little sneer towards Alec. If Dr. Carr picked up on the slight animosity between them at the moment, he didn't let on.

"As I said earlier," he extrapolated, "Max wasn't in a coma. Nor was she merely unconscious. She was responding to external stimuli. But while she was in mid-state, she experienced an intense and very life-like… well dream, for want of a better term."

"She was dreaming?" Alec asked incredulously. He cocked his head to the side. That would account for all the motion and sounds she'd been making. Dr. Carr nodded.

"When she initially woke up, she didn't make the normal transition from deep REM to light sleep and then wakefulness," Carr explained, taking them through the medical aspect of it. "It's similar to nightmares. So since Max was experiencing one thing in her dream and then woke to a completely different situation, she naturally was confused and disoriented. Easy to see why she became upset."

"Okay," Logan breathed a sigh of relief. "So that explains that." But something else seemed to occur to him. "So who was she asking for?"

Dr. Carr simply chuckled. "Well, I'll let Max explain the whole of it, if she's up to it. But apparently she was waiting for someone and he was late."

"Which explains why she was asking where he was?" Alec grinned, but it faded quickly. Her earlier comment made much more sense now. If she was waiting for someone and was telling Alec to get out, it probably was Logan she'd been dreaming about. But that just didn't gel to her reaction when the man in question did show up. He shook his head to dislodge the circling thoughts, realizing that Carr was speaking again.

"So just keep her off her feet for the next few days and she'll recover nicely." The doctor moved to pick up his old-fashioned black bag and Logan jumped up to retrieve his coat. Dr. Carr took it from him and headed out, with a cheery, "call me if there are any problems!" thrown over his shoulder.

Logan returned to the kitchen just as Alec picked up the mugs of tea. The older man stepped in front of Alec and the transgneic held out the drink he'd chosen. But to his surprise, Logan reached for both mugs. And took them from him. Alec raised a puzzled eyebrow and Logan smiled tightly at him.

"I got it, thanks," he muttered.

"Excuse me?" Alec grunted, wondering what Logan was doing.

"I said I got it," Logan enunciated carefully, lifting Max's mug slightly. "You can go now."

"Why would I go?" Alec demanded tiredly. "In case you've forgotten Logan, there's this virus that makes it so you and Max can't touch?"

"I know that Alec," Logan scowled back at him, then turned on his heel to slowly make his way to the bedroom.

"So what if Max needs help with something?" he demanded, following after. "Who'll help her? You certainly can't."

"I'll call Cindy," Logan threw out quickly. He stopped and turned to look back at the younger man. "She's really missed Max these last couple of weeks. I'm sure she'll jump at the chance to spend some time with her." Okay, granted, that was a good idea. But Alec was still hesitant to leave Max alone with Logan, for numerous reasons he felt best not to dwell upon. But then Logan found something a little more compelling. "Besides, shouldn't you be getting back to TC? They'll need someone to try and run things while Max is recovering."

Damn it, but he made a good point. Not that the transgenics were in any danger of not protecting themselves. It was first nature to them all. Or most of them anyway. But Alec had the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that that was exactly what Max would want him to do. When he didn't say anything, Logan turned and continued on his original path. Alec heard him greet Max even as he pushed the door shut behind him. Alec didn't bother to listen for her reply. He slowly stooped over to pick up his jacket where he'd discarded it so long ago. He slipped out the front door, shutting it with a gentle click. He pulled his coat on with mechanical rote movements.

Alec sighed and turned his head to stare down the street. His bike had been jacked; he was sure the moment he'd left it behind. In the mad rush to take care of Max, he hadn't given a damn about what would happen to it. So he had no other choice but to walk and hope he made it back without attracting attention. Which he could actually do when he put his mind to it. He ambled down the steps, but something made him turn back. He stared up at the door, yearningly. It was strange, how he could still feel the imprint of Max in his arms. His shirt had dried from her tears, but the scent of them was still there. Was it the same for her?

Alec recalled the look on her face when she'd smiled at him. The beauty of it had transformed her. And somehow, it had supplanted the favored image of her after her shower, naked and raging. Alec's chin dropped down to his chest as he asked himself silently, _'is there any chance at all that she could feel the way for me as I feel for her?'_ He looked up again at the closed door. Cut off from someone he cared so deeply for. She was in there. With Logan. The man she wanted. The man she always wanted and chose first, even when it hurt her. What would she want with a screw-up X5 former assassin when she could have her heart's desire? _'It's just a dream, man,'_ he consoled himself. _'Just a strange, wildly impossible dream.'_

The End

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AN2- Well it's been a wild ride. For all those that saw this coming, congratulations, you were right. It was all a dream. But that by no means says that the story has ended. Please join me in December when we get to the sequel, 'The Waking Hours', the continuing saga of Max and Alec.

For all of those who reviewed, I thank you deeply. This was an endeavor I was very unsure about. But your comments and questions kept me going. Your speculations kept me amused and on my toes. Your constructive criticisms were most appreciated. You all have a special place in my heart.

Restive


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